Sam's Second Christmas with Team One
by missblueeyes63
Summary: Sam's 2nd Christmas with Team One has been memorable in the 12 days leading up to Christmas Eve. Sam has plans for Christmas this year, real plans with his family now that he has reconciled with them. He wants to give his Mother what she most wants, him home for Christmas. His extended/chosen family have some surprises in store for Sam. Someone from Sam's past surprises him most.
1. Where's Sam

**Sam's Second Christmas with Team One**

* * *

 _ **Summary:**_ _Sam's second Christmas with Team One has been memorable in the twelve days leading up to Christmas Eve. Sam has plans for Christmas this year, real plans with his family now that he has reconciled with them. He wants to give his Mother what she most wants, him home for Christmas. His extended/chosen family have some surprises in store for Sam. Someone from Sam's past surprises him most._

 _ **Setting:**_ _This story starts right where Twelve Days of Christmas SRU Style ends._

 _I do not own Flashpoint or any of the characters from that series.  
I do own my original characters (OC)._

* * *

 **Where's Sam**

* * *

 _ **SRU HQ – Briefing Room – Thursday, December 24th – 7:00 am**_

Ed was the last into the room. He had held back waiting for Sam to show up in the locker room. He hadn't.

Shades of several times Sam was late without calling flashed through his mind. None of those were good; bronchitis that nearly killed him, abduction by dirty cops that nearly killed him, thugs that attacked him at the cemetery and left him for dead, chasing a dog that took his cell phone. Well the last one was funny, but the others.

As Ed entered the room he looked at the others. He stopped on Greg and asked "He answer your call?"

Greg shook his head.

Spike offered "He looked happy when I dropped him off last night. I told him I would pick him up by he said he was going to sleep in since he didn't need to work out and would have a late night tonight."

Jules said "I'll go check his apartment."

Spike popped up "I'll go with you."

Greg nodded "Okay. I don't want to over react. He did have a rough day with that scenario I put him through yesterday."

Ed nodded but thought even if that was the case Sam would call in. There was still enough soldier in Sam that not reporting would not be something he would do if it were in his power to do so.

After Jules and Spike left Wordy looked at Ed and said "This is not like him. We all know that. We should go with Spike and Jules."

Ed took a breath and said "They can handle it. I need your help to plan the warrant tactics."

Wordy asked "So the warrant came in?"

Greg answered "It will, expecting it soon. We may need to do this one man down. Plan accordingly."

Ed nodded and pulled the blueprints up on the big screen. He and Wordy began to discuss options for serving the warrant on a group that had been named by the G & G officers as the Grinch Brigade. It was a group of six lowlifes that were targeting charitable organizations and stealing donations made for Christmas.

G & G had gotten lucky two nights ago and apprehended one of the gang. The lowlife had given up the location of their operation. But he had also indicated that they were heavily armed. So SRU was called in to serve the warrant.

* * *

 _ **Rollback – Sam's Apartment – Thursday, December 24th – 3:00 am**_

Flashes, screams, explosions invaded Sam's dream. He thrashed back and forth fighting with his sheets. His arms got loose and he flayed them around fighting off imagined enemies.

The clock and lamp went crashing to the ground. The cord of the clock ripped out of the socket with the force of Sam's hit. The bright red numbers faded to nothingness as the battery backup failed because the battery compartment had broken open and the battery was dislodged from its contacts when the clock bounced and hit the wall.

His arms flailing wildly again Sam screamed. He was not going to be taken again. His legs wrapped tightly in twisted sheets and blankets, trapping him. He panicked and hit out at his attackers as gunfire raged in his dream.

Sam wrenched to the right trying desperately to escape. He had to get away. He wrenched to the left. They were still coming. He wrenched right again and his head hit the nightstand. His hands grabbed the nightstand and yanked it hard thinking it was a man that hit him.

The nightstand and its contents went flying. His cell phone hit the wall and landed in a cracked heap on the carpet of the bedroom floor. The glass of water and bottle of pain pills landed with a soft thud near the now cracked cell phone. Water seeped into the phone sealing its fate to be a useless piece of technology.

Sam continued to fight until he ended up on the floor panting heavily.

Hide. Hide. Hide. His mind screamed at him.

Sam crawled to the closet which in his mind was somewhere in Afghanistan in a little hovel of a house. He closed the closet door and shook as he cowed in the corner praying they would not find him. Blaze and Matt would find him first. All he had to do was stay quiet and hide. They would get him. His brother would not let him be taken again.

Pure exhaustion over took Sam and his mind pulled him back down into sleep as he called out for Matt to save him.

* * *

 _ **Sam's Apartment – Thursday, December 24th – 7:15 am**_

Jules knocked on the door for the second time.

Spike asked "Should I pick the lock?"

She nodded and stepped aside as Spike pulled out his tools. It took him a moment to unlock it. Spike looked up and said "Getting a bit rusty."

Jules and Spike both unlatched their holsters and withdrew their guns. Spike positioned himself on one side as Jules turned the knob and pushed open the door. They scanned the interior and found no threat. They entered the apartment.

Everything in the main room and small kitchen appeared in order. No signs of struggle.

Jules pointed to Sam's go bag near the front door. That indicated he had not left.

Spike nodded and they made their way to Sam's bedroom door which was closed. Jules positioned herself as Spike turned the knob slowly and then pushed open the door quickly.

Both were stunned to see the state of Sam's room. There looked to be a real struggle.

They entered slowly and Spike moved to the bathroom. It was clear. He turned and said "What happened here?"

Jules shook her head "I don't know." She saw the shattered lamp and the clock on one side of the bed on the floor.

Spike looked at Sam's cell phone and said "This explains why he is not answering. It's toast."

Looking at the destruction around him, Spike then voiced his concern "It appears that Sam tried to fight off attackers. We should call the Boss. He has lots of enemies. It could be anyone."

Jules surveyed the room and then saw the trail of covers that looked to stretch out in the direction of the closet. An old memory came to mind. One night, when they were dating, Sam had a nightmare at her home. She had found him in crawling to the closet as he begged Matt to find him.

She turned to Spike and said "I don't think this is what it appears to be."

Then Jules headed to the closet and slowly opened it. Her heart wrenched seeing Sam curled tightly and covered with several of his clothes.

She turned to Spike and said "Found him."

Spike's eyes went wide as he looked around the room and then back at Jules. He said quietly "Nightmare."

Jules nodded and replied "Give me the room. I'll wake him."

Blowing out a relieved but also concerned breath Spike exited the room and said "I'll let the Boss know we found him."

Spike closed the bedroom door to give Jules and more importantly Sam privacy. Sam would be embarrassed being found in his closet. Jules was the best one to handle it.

He went to Sam's kitchen and called the Boss.

 _[Greg answered and said "Did you find Sam?"]_

Spike responded "Yeah he is at home. Jules is waking him now. Appears to have a bit of a rough night if you get my drift."

 _[Greg nodded and asked "Fit for duty or does he need a day off?"]_

"Not sure yet. We'll let you know shortly" Spike answered.

 _["The warrant should be in by nine. Need you and Jules back here in the next thirty minutes to prep. If Sam is not up to it, let him know that he is approved for a day off."]_

"Copy" Spike responded then hung up.

He looked at the cold coffee in the pot and decided to make a fresh pot. He wondered what set off Sam's nightmare.

Inside the bedroom, Jules had holstered her weapon and crouched down outside the closet. She took a few moments to just look at Sam. She could see a new bruise on the side of his head. He must have hit it on the nightstand or something else during his nightmare.

Sam had so many demons. He had been through so much in his life. Sam seemed to bounce back really easily. Or at least that is what he portrayed to the world. She knew better.

The man she was looking at had deep scars and insecurities that he hid from everyone. Jules knew she was the cause of some of his hurt too. If she could redo it, if she could have denied the initial attraction to Sam then she might not have hurt him too.

Jules pushed those thoughts away. None of that would help Sam right now. She knew he would feel embarrassment for being found in his closet. He would feel that he failed in his duty by not showing up for work on time too.

She called softly "Sam. Sam it's Jules. Sam time to wake up."

Sam blinked his eyes open. Several things crashed into his sleep fogged mind trying to dominance. He was in his closet. His head ached. Jules was outside his closet.

The last thought won. Jules was fully dressed in uniform. He had overslept. Missed his alarm. Sam wasn't sure how. He had heard the alarm when he woke in his closet before. Why not today?

"Ah crap" he said in a gravelly morning voice.

Jules knew better than to push him. She pretended nothing was amiss and gave him a soft smile as she said "Good morning. You are a tad late for work. Your alarm apparently did not go off. Want to grab a quick shower then ride in with Spike and me?"

Sam started to get up but realized he was naked beneath the clothes that were covering him. He stopped keeping himself covered and said "Yeah, give me ten and I'll be out."

Jules stood. She turned and as she walked out said "Careful of the lamp fragments."

Sam crawled out of the closet as Jules closed the door. He looked at the destruction in his room. He saw the dead alarm clock. That explained why he did not hear it. Then he saw his cracked phone. Shit. That was the worst nightmare he had in a long time. Sam headed to his bathroom watching where he stepped, the last thing he needed was to cut his foot too.

In the bathroom, Sam looked at his head in the mirror and saw the bruise. At least he hadn't split it open. Sam showered, brushed his teeth and dressed quickly. Facing the team was going to be embarrassing. But he could not put it off.

He took one last look at his bedroom before opening his bedroom door to face Jules and Spike. He would have to clean it up before he went to Mayfield today. He'd have to get a new phone too it seemed. He sighed and opened the door.

The door opened to Sam's room and Spike saw the slight pink blush on Sam's face. Spike walked over and handed Sam a travel mug and said "Coffee's nice and hot. Let's go. We have a warrant to serve this morning."

Sam took the coffee and looked between Jules and Spike. Neither of them were acting like anything was out of the ordinary. That was kind and he appreciated it a lot.

Deciding to keep it normal too, Sam responded "Thanks for the coffee."

The three headed out of Sam's apartment as Spike lightheartedly said "We get to take down the Grinch Brigade today. That's sure to put us on Santa's good list."


	2. Grinch Brigade & Ghost of Christmas Past

**Grinch Brigade & Ghost of Christmas Past **

* * *

_**SRU HQ – Briefing Room – Thursday, December 24th – 8:00 am**_

Sam walked in and directly to the Sarge and came to attention. He stated "I over slept Sir. It will not happen again."

Greg saw the military bearing and words and his eyes softened. "It's okay Sam. Relax. Happens to all of us every now and then. Are you fit for duty?"

Sam relaxed a bit and said "Yes Sir."

Ed patted his back, "Good. Let's review the tactical plan Samo."

Relaxing the rest of the way Sam grinned. No one was going to ream him over being late. As he sat down, Spike slid a phone to him. Sam looked at it and then at Spike.

Spike said "Can't have you out of back up communication. While you changed, I set it up and transferred your data. All your contacts, photos and such are there."

"Thanks Spike" Sam responded and put the phone in his pocket.

Ed began to review the plan. The Grinch Brigade was holed up in an old warehouse that was used for a now defunct props business. The warehouse was single level brick building with three warehouse rolling doors and two regular doors and opposite sides of the west side of the building. There were no access points on the north, east or south sides of the warehouse and there were no windows. The roof was a flat top that had four large skylights equally spaced across it.

"Sam and Jules will take the skylights and feed us information on the position of the subjects. Depending on their location inside we will breach either the north or south door after securing the door we will not breach by blocking it with one of the SUVs" Ed stated.

Sam looked at the warehouse and did not like the options. He asked "Just our team and five subjects?"

Ed nodded "Yeah, not great odds but with the heavy weapons they are carrying. We will have a perimeter set up that G & G will be manning."

Sam asked half knowing but not liking the answer he would get "After we locate them will Jules and I be joining you?"

"Light duty Samo. You know that means no entry for you. Only Jules will be joining us for entry" Ed answered. He saw the flicker of disappointment so Ed added "I need you to maintain Sierra One and assist from the roof."

Sam nodded curtly. At least he was not relegated to the truck only. He could handle Sierra One. He would be able to protect the team from that position.

They spent the next hour reviewing all aspects of the plan and the subjects they were serving the warrant on. G & G had provided them a list of the potential weaponry that the one gang member had said they had.

Winnie entered the briefing room with a piece of paper and handed to Greg as she said "Warrant is in."

Greg looked at the team and directed "Gear up."

* * *

 _ **Grinch Brigade Warehouse – Thursday, December 24th – 9:30 am**_

Jules and Sam got their lines and grappling hooks ready on the east side of the building that had no windows or doors. The roof of the single story old building was only about fifteen feet. It had snowed heavily last night and there were huge banks of the snow from the snow plows piled up next to the building.

Sam threw the grappling hook to the roof and then pulled the line tight until the hook caught against the roof edge. He tugged to test the line. Jules had done the same with her line. Both began to climb up the side of the building.

Reaching the top, they pulled themselves over. The roof was covered in a thick layer of snow. Sam thought that was good because it would deaden the sounds of their boots as they traversed the rooftop.

Sam headed north and Jules headed south.

Leah was in the SUV to the south and Greg was in the SUV at the north. Spike, Ed and Wordy were waiting around the north side of the building until Sam and Jules located the subject. The entire team was wearing full protective gear with helmets given the weaponry they might be facing.

Jules made it to the first skylight and brushed snow away. She peered in through the yellowed plexiglass and called out quietly "No visual of subjects from the south middle light. Heading to the farthest south one."

As Jules rose and began to walk the roof felt a little spongey. She wasn't sure if that was the snow or not. She moved quickly toward the next skylight.

Sam knelt down and wiped the snow from a small section of the middle north and peered in. He reported "No visual of subject middle north. Heading to far north one."

He stood and made his way across the roof careful not to make a sound. Stealth and then surprise were key to the success of this warrant.

Jules called out "No visual on subjects but I see a large cache of weapons."

Sam knelt again and used his gloved hands to move the layer of snow from the skylight. "Movement. I see four. Hold, need to move to the other side." Sam stood and moved to the other side of the skylight. He removed the snow and reported "Five of five located on the north side. There are two sofas and three chairs and a table. Two subjects appear to be sleeping on the sofas. Two are at the table eating cereal. The last is a little further south and appears to be playing with a remote-control car. Probably one they stole."

Ed stated "Leah block the south exit then join us. Jules."

"On my way down" Jules called out.

Sam moved more snow and then took out his cutting tool. He needed an opening in case he had to take a shot. When he was done he said "Sierra One in position."

Ed and Spike had shields at the ready as Wordy prepared to use the ram. Jules sprinted around the building just as Leah joined the team after blocking the south exit. Leah, Jules and Greg had flashbangs ready to throw in three directions.

"Three, two, one. Go" Ed called.

Wordy rammed the door and it went flying open.

Ed and Spike raced in with the shields yelling "Police. Stay where you are."

Jules, Greg and Leah threw the flashbangs.

In the flashing lights and deafening bangs that ensued four of the five subjects were stunned and pulled to the floor and cuffed.

The fifth subject ran to the south of the warehouse.

Sam lost sight of him and called out "Heading to the south skylight."

He raced across the roof not caring about stealth at the moment. He needed visual on the fifth subject. G & G said they had armor piercing bullets. Sam was not about to let the subject get to the weapons and harm his team.

As Sam past the middle south skylight his foot slammed down hard and he felt the roof move beneath him. Sam did not stop as he realized the roof was caving in. His foot came down again and the roof beneath it caved in.

Sam dove trying to reach a section of the roof that was not collapsing. His hands hit something and he grasped tightly as a large portion of the roof crashed down into the warehouse. Sam was dangling from a ragged section of the roof.

Ed and Wordy had raced after the running fifth subject. They heard a great cracking and creaking sounds just as the subject reached a cache of weapons. They dove for cover not knowing if it was loaded with armor piercing bullets.

Then the roof was crashing down. Beams and debris rained down and they ducked for cover.

As the crashing stopped Ed and Wordy moved to check the position of the subject. The roof above where the subject had been was gone and daylight flooded in through the dust of all the debris.

Wordy caught sight of the subject first. He was dead. Buried in debris and impaled by a piece of rebar through the eye.

Ed stared a subject a moment then recalled Sam was heading to the south on the roof. He called out "Sam status."

Sam called out "A little help here."

Ed and Wordy looked up hearing Sam in their headsets and with their ears.

"Aw Christ Sam. Hold on" Wordy called.

Ed looked around and saw a pile of old mattresses "Wordy, help me move these under Sam. It is not that far of a drop but better if he lands on something softer."

Spike raced to help Ed and Wordy move the mattresses.

Sam watched them move them into place as he held on. He could feel something gouging into his right hand. Sam looked up at where he had grabbed onto and found it was rusty jagged metal.

Ed called "Okay Sam. Drop."

Sam released his grip on his right hand. He had to pull it away. Sam took a moment to look at where his hand had been and it was rusty metal. Crap. Sam let go with his left hand and dropped.

As Sam dropped, he assumed a position he would use for parachute landings. With no parachute risers to grip Sam tucked his chin in and linked his hands behind his neck with elbows tucked in close. He landed with both legs slightly bent at the knee. When the balls of his feet struck the mattresses he immediately threw himself sideways to distribute the landing shock sequentially along five points of body contact with the mattresses starting with the balls of his feet, then the side of his calf, the side of his thigh, the side of his hip and finally ending up on the side of his back.

He took a moment to assess before breathing out. Safe landing. That was a relief.

Sam sat up and unhooked his hands from his neck as Wordy, Ed and Spike circled around him. Sam looked up at them and said "Good thing these were here. The ground would have been a lot harder."

Ed saw blood on the back of Sam's neck and said "Sam you're injured."

Sam nodded in agreement and said "Minor" as he stood up.

Spike saw the blood on Sam's neck too and moved trying to push Sam back down "Your neck. Sit down."

"Nothing wrong with my neck" Sam answered as he moved out of Spike's reach.

Wordy caught a glimpse of the blood and said "Sam you are bleeding. Sit down."

Sam responded "I know I'm bleeding. It's minor."

He then started taking off his right glove. Once he got it off he showed them his hand "See minor."

Ed grinned with relief. The blood had transferred from Sam's hand to his neck when he dropped. But he said "Might be minor but you are going to the ER and have it checked out."

Spike took Sam's hand and wrapped it in a dressing as he remarked "Yeah. Minor or not it could get infected."

Wordy added "We know that minor wounds can turn deadly. Ski trip from hell is all I'm saying."

Sam cringed a bit at recalling how the cut on his shin nearly killed him. And Scott, and Spike. That was truly the worst vacation he ever took. But it led him to finding Vanessa so it was not all bad.

He looked at the dead subject and asked Ed "Isn't SIU going to want to talk to me?"

Ed shook his head "You didn't take a lethal shot. Not your fault the roof collapsed."

Leah and Jules joined them after handing off the subjects to the G & G officers. Greg was still wrapping up things with the G & G Sergeant and Inspector Stainton.

Seeing Sam's hand wrapped up, Jules offered "I'll take Sam to the ER and get him checked out.

Ed nodded. Jules was the best at dealing with Sam and getting him to cooperate with medical stuff.

"Come on Sam, let's get this over with so we can get back and debrief. Then we can start our well-deserved time off" Jules stated.

She tugged on his arm and Sam reluctantly went with her. He quipped "So much for light duty."

Jules responded "Sam, I don't think you know the meaning of light duty."

Sam cocked his head and said "Not my fault the subject ran and the roof collapsed."

Spike looked around the warehouse and said "Too bad all these toys are evidence. So many kids will be without. These guys truly are grinches."

Wordy, Ed and Leah all nodded and headed out of the warehouse.

* * *

 _ **SUV Returning to SRU HQ – Thursday, December 24th – 11:30 am**_

Sam looked at his wrapped hand. Nurse Clare had thoroughly cleaned the small cut. Dr. Fraser had examined it and given the bruise on his head a once over. The doctor had checked his chest again and was satisfied the muscles were healing well and Sam had not strained them again hanging onto the roof. He was current on tetanus so no needles were involved today.

All in all, it was an okay visit to the ER. His hand would be a bit tender but it would not impede him from the activities he had planned with his cousins. For that he was grateful. Actually, today he had several things to be grateful for.

But Sam was still feeling out of sorts. He felt the need to talk. Last night's nightmare was bugging him.

He glanced at Jules and asked "Jules can I talk to you?"

Jules had noticed Sam's quiet demeanor at the hospital and knew there was more on his mind than just being at the hospital. She pulled over and put the SUV in park "Anytime Sam."

Sam looked out the windshield at the light snow that was falling. Dawn said talking about the nightmares when they occurred would help reduce them. So far, she had been right.

He started "Thanks for not making a big deal this morning."

Jules nodded and remained silent.

Sam then turned and looked at Jules "It is a nightmare I have sometimes around Christmas. It stems from my second Christmas in JTF2. I was placed with another unit. Matt and the rest of the guys headed back to Canada. It was rare that they got to go, Blaze invited Matt and Ripsaw to spend Christmas with him and Daphne. Matt didn't want to go, but I made him because I was going to be with another unit anyways."

His mind went back to that time as he shared with Jules.

* * *

 _ **Six Years Ago – Somewhere in Afghanistan – December 24**_ _ **th**_

 _Sam was in overwatch with Sergeant Marley's unit. Their mission was to track the movements of a cell in a small village. It was a no kill mission. Just observe and report so that command could assess the strength of this cell and determine if it was a viable threat._

 _They had been at it for three weeks straight now. The unit was all exhausted but they only had four more days and then they could return to base. Sam watched and made notes._

 _When activity slowed and then stopped for the night Sam set his pencil down but kept his eyes peeled as his thoughts wandered._

 _Sam had pulled the ten pm to four am watch alone for the past three weeks. It was fine by him, not much happened during those hours so only one of them was needed to be awake and make notes. The others rotated in pairs taking six hour watches during the active hours of the village._

 _As he thought about Marley's unit he concluded that they were not bad guys, they were just indifferent to him. He was not one of their core unit, just a substitute to cover for their own sniper who got to go home for Christmas. So they did not invest in getting to know him._

 _When he was awake before and after his watch, they never included him in their conversations. That was also fine by him. He really had nothing to say to them either. But he listened as they all talked about their families. How much they missed being away from them. About all the happy Christmas' they had shared with their families._

 _Part of Sam was happy them for all their happiness. But part of Sam just wanted them to all shut the hell up. Because for him Christmas was a source of pain. A reminder that he had failed his little sister and that he was no longer wanted by his parents._

 _Christmas for him was never the same after Sara died. All the magic died. He had never spent Christmas in Ottawa after Sara died. Parts of the family got together in different locations but it was never everyone. And it never held joy for him. Sara was not there and it was his fault. That had been made abundantly clear to him the Christmas after Sara died._

 _The year Sara died, the General and he had flown to England at the last minute and met his mother and Natalie there. When they arrived, it was very late on Christmas Eve and he was sent directly to bed. Which was fine by him because he could barely keep his eyes open in the taxi ride from the airport to the hotel._

 _They had Christmas in a hotel room. It had none of the magic he remembered, even though Natalie was three. His parents didn't even acknowledge that Sara was missing. It was like Sara hadn't even existed, her name was never uttered once._

 _That year there were no presents for him either. He didn't expect any. He had failed to save Sara. He sat and watched as Natalie opened her gifts. He held in his tears as she giggled, opening one present after another._

 _Sure, later that morning his mother came back in with a few things for him. But she wouldn't even look at him. He could tell it was an afterthought, like maybe they felt a little guilty that they left him out. There was a shirt with the hotel logo, some socks and some candy._

 _As he and the General left the hotel that afternoon to return to the desert base, he stood by the hotel gift shop as the General checked out. Everything that he received had been bought from that little store in the hotel lobby. That made it so much worse. It made it clear to him that he was not wanted._

 _A few days after he returned to the desert base, there were several presents for him to open. He didn't want them but he dutifully opened them and said thank you Sir. He never bothered to play with them. They stayed in their packaging stacked neatly in his closet. He did not need pity gifts._

 _Sam thoughts were interrupted as movement began in the little village they were watching. Several trucks rolled in. He saw that they began unloading RPGs, munitions and rifles carrying them into various buildings in the village. Sam crawled to Sergeant Marley and tapped his shoulder._

" _Sarge you need to see this" Sam whispered._

 _Sergeant Marley crawled to the observation post with Braddock and looked through his night vision binoculars. "That is a shitload of RPGs and munitions."_

 _Sam nodded "Yeah. Some even had Canadian markings on the boxes."_

 _Marley said "Wake the guys. I'm going to radio this in. We can't let that much weaponry loose."_

 _Sam crawled back down and began to wake the rest of the unit as the Sergeant radioed in the discovery._

" _Mission's changed boys. We need to get down there and destroy their Christmas presents" Marley stated. Then he defined the plan._

 _The unit snuck down and into the village. They had noted seven places that this cell used to store weapons. Their mission was to target all and destroy their entire cache of weapons. Each member of the unit was given a location. They would set their explosives and then hightail it back to the observation location. Stealth in and out. The explosives were timed to go off after they got out._

 _Sam set his charges and then was making his way out when the charges set by one of the unit went off unexpectedly. All hell broke loose. Bright flashes of explosions, screaming, gunfire and utter chaos reigned in the village._

 _He shot his way to the edge of the village trying to stay alive and to locate the rest of the unit. At the edge of the village he encountered a dozen young teenage boys. They were unarmed but came at him yelling 'kill the non-believer, kill the infidel'. Sam turned and ran the other direction not wanting to shoot children._

 _Sam skidded around a corner as explosions continued to go off all-around him. He was hit in the head with the butt of a rifle. Sam staggered as pain shot through his head. He exchanged several blows with the man as he fought for his life. He was fading but got ahold of the man and threw him across the yard. The man did not get up and come back at him after hitting the wall._

 _As his vision dimmed, Sam fell to his knees and he started crawling. He had to hide. He was not getting out of this without help. Hiding was his only option._

 _Sam crawled into a small hovel of a house and into a small room. He closed the door and buried himself in the cloth he found in the small closet. In his concussed and dazed state Sam begged Matt to find him. He did not want to be taken again. All he had to do was hide until Matt and Blaze found him._

 _He lost consciousness._

* * *

 _ **SUV Returning to SRU HQ – Thursday, December 24th – 11:40 am**_

Sam looked at Jules and said "I woke up in the base hospital five days later. Matt and Blaze were there. They had flown back from their leave when they found out I was in the hospital."

"I was told, though I have no recollection of it myself, that Sergeant Marley and the rest of the unit made it back to the observation location. When I didn't show up, they went looking for me. They found my rifle outside a house with a dead man. When he landed, the man fell on his own knife and it pierced his heart. They followed a blood trail inside. It led to the little closet I had hidden in."

"They didn't leave me there to be taken like Murphy and Travis did. They risked their lives to come back for me. They didn't really know me and they did that for me. A few years later, most of those guys were killed in a corn field. I tried to save them. But only Shy and I made it out of the corn field alive."

Sam reached up and touched his newest bruise and said "The hit with the rifle butt split open a wound about three inches long on the side of my head. Luckily it didn't fracture my skull. But I lost quite a bit of blood and the doctor put me into a drug induced coma until the swelling went down."

When Sam was quiet for a bit Jules asked "What do you think triggered your nightmare?"

Sam shrugged and said "I've given it a little thought. Perhaps being in the cemetery and hiding behind Matt's headstone and watching the Kettle brother's praying for guidance. Maybe because they were saved by people that barely knew them. Or maybe thinking about how wrong I was about that first Christmas after Sara died. I don't really know what triggered it. Maybe all of it combined."

Jules nodded and then asked "What do you mean you were wrong about that first Christmas?"

Turning his gaze to the windshield again, Sam watched the snow fall.

Sam was silent so long Jules thought he was not going to answer her. But then he started in a low voice.

"I've had several long talks with my mom lately. She shared with me how devastated she was on my ninth Christmas. They chose to have Christmas at a hotel in England because they were afraid that I would go catatonic if my father brought me home."

"So they met in England. My mother brought gifts for both Natalie and me. But the bags with my gifts got lost. They did not know it until they were setting out the presents in the wee hours of the morning seeing that we all arrived late Christmas Eve since my father could only arrange a short partial day visit. He really shouldn't have left during that time but Colonel Sutton covered for him so he could spend at least Christmas morning with my mother, sister and me."

"There wasn't a single store open. Nothing. According to my mom, my dad went out to try and find something open but to no avail."

Sam glanced down at his hands in his lap and continued "They tried to keep Natalie asleep until the gift shop downstairs was open. But she was three and she woke up and started screaming Santa came and Merry Christmas. They tried to get her to wait to open them. Tried distracting her. But apparently, I handed her the first gift and said she should open it. I didn't realize there were not any for me at the time."

"My mom said she could not bear to look me in the eyes knowing that she had hurt me. I remembered wrong. I don't remember crying, but apparently, I sat there watching Natalie opening her presents with tears in my eyes. When they tried to explain what happened, I told my parents that I didn't need anything because I was the reason Sara was not there and didn't deserve anything."

Sam glanced back at Jules and said "My childhood memories are all mixed up. Things I thought were one way were really another. It is hard sometimes. Part of me felt like the Kettle boys yesterday; so lost and in need of guidance."

He let out a long, low sigh then said "Thanks for letting me talk Jules."

Jules reached out a hand and put it over Sam's "You know you can talk to me about anything, anytime. Ready to go?"

Sam nodded.

Jules put the SUV in gear and pulled out. She thought, Sam had scars, deep, deep, emotional scars. Much like she did.

This time of year was hard on her too. Christmas used to be a time of family. But then hers had abandoned her. She had chosen new brothers and the Boss was like a father. But there was still a void in her heart where her brothers and father used to be.


	3. Gifts Exchanged, Offers & Story-time

**Gifts Exchanged, Offers & Storytime **

* * *

_**SRU HQ – Men's Locker Room – Thursday, December 24th – 1:00 pm**_

Sam finished dressing. He pulled a small present out of this locker before he closed it. He knew this was Spike's first Christmas without Lou and that was bound to be tough. He knew last year without Matt had been awful for him.

He sat down and set the present on the bench next to him. He then toyed with the black and gold bracelet on his wrist. Sam did not wear it often but with everything that had happened recently he had put it on after he showered and changed today. He missed Lou too.

Lou had been the first to help him with negotiations. Lou had defended him to the others when he had to shoot the man holding Lou hostage and accidently shot Lou too. Starting with Team One had been really rough and he nearly given up.

Sam was glad he had found the strength to endure. This team had become his family. He was learning, slowly, to open up and trust them. However, that was still hard to do.

Talking to Jules though was getting easier. She had hurt him but he understood her. They both needed this team. The team was the only family Jules had. She never mentioned her biological family. But he knew without a doubt they had hurt her very badly. Her hurt was not the confused memory of a child though, it was real.

He was glad Jules was spending Christmas with Wordy's family. The Boss was going to be there too. Jules would be surrounded by love, warmth and family on Christmas and that made him happy.

Sam glanced at Spike who was just finishing dressing. Wordy, Ed and the Boss had already finished and headed out of the locker room with well wishes for a Merry Christmas. Ed said that he would bring Clark to Mayfield about three. Ed even decided to stay and help out too. That was nice and Mayfield could always use the extra hands.

His thoughts turned back to Spike. He had his family. His sister and her husband and children were already here. Spike would be surrounded by those that loved and cared about him too. Sam hoped that Spike's dad behaved and just enjoyed the day without taking an opportunity to dig at Spike and insist he quit SRU.

Spike's father just didn't get that they made a difference. A real difference. Like they had for the Kettle boys yesterday. Spike telling him where Captain Kettle served was a key piece of the reason he had called Adam. Adam knowing the commanding officer and calling Bodhran was a chain of events started by Spike.

He wanted to be alone with Sam, so Spike dressed slowly. He was glad when the Boss, Wordy and Ed headed out. He was glad Sam had dressed slowly. It was uncharacteristic for Sam. But then again, Sam was still moving a bit slower and his hand was bandaged.

Spike was so glad Sam had hung on. Today could have been bad when that roof collapsed. Heck it could have been bad if it had not collapsed. The ammo in the gun the subject had just grabbed was armor piercing. Ed or Wordy could have been killed if not for the roof caving in. Sometimes, Spike wondered at the ways God's hand worked.

He grabbed a small present from his locker and then closed it and turned to face Sam who was just sitting on the bench. He noticed there was a small present next to Sam and grinned. So, Sam had one for him too.

Spike stepped forward and held out his present as he said "Sam this is for you. I want you to open it on Christmas."

Sam grinned and accepted the present with one hand as his other picked up and held out the one he had for Spike "And this is for you. I also want you to open it on Christmas."

Spike chuckled as he accepted the present "Great minds think alike."

Sam chuckled as he stood "That they do. Merry Christmas buddy. Enjoy the time with your family."

"I will. Merry Christmas to you too. You enjoy your time with your family too" Spike said as the two of them headed out of the locker room.

Grinning Sam said "I plan to."

* * *

 _ **SRU HQ – Dispatch Desk – Thursday, December 24th – 1:05 pm**_

Jules had said goodbye to the Boss, Wordy, Ed and Leah as they all headed out. Leah was so excited to be going home to her family for Christmas. Jules was happy for her. But she also felt a twinge of pain too. If only her father and brothers had not abandoned her, she might be heading home to Medicine Hat for Christmas.

But they had. He father had made it clear he was unhappy with her choice when she joined the RCMP nine years ago. She had rarely spoken to him in the five years she was with the RCMP. The few times they had spoken always ended in an argument.

Her father finally turned his back on her for good in the airport in Medicine Hat. Jules had not spoken to him or her brothers in over four years. That was just after she had been selected to join SRU. She had tried one last time to connect with her father, hoping that he could see that this was who she was and accept her. But he didn't.

The pain she felt as her father turned his back on her and walked away had nearly killed her. She had left shattered pieces of her heart on the floor of the airport and started building the walls that protected the remnants of her heart from further pain. Those walls had been strong and sturdy. Not a soul could penetrate them.

That is until one Sam Braddock had joined SRU. From the first moment she laid eyes on him, when he idiotically told her he had a pearl handled colt and reached in his jacket, Sam had started his assault on her walls. At first, she was immune, and her walls held fast deflecting his assault. She disliked the cocky soldier and was openly hostile to him.

But things changed and she recognized that her initial reactions were a form of protection. Unconsciously, she had known that her heart could be hurt by him if she let him close. When he touched her bruised back, ever so slightly, and told her it looked like a double bacon cheeseburger, that is when she began to consciously recognize the threat.

That kiss outside the Royal York Hotel had caught her off guard. Sam slipped in past all her defenses and found a secret door she did not know existed in her walls. She also found that Sam did not attack her heart. Instead he set about rebuilding it. Painstakingly and with care like she restored her home.

If anyone could be guilty of breaking a heart, it was her. She had shattered his in the coffee house when she told him she loved him when she broke up with him. She had ripped out his heart and stomped all over it. It was clear in his eyes, the pain she caused him that night was immense.

But she had no choice. The team was her only family now. Jules could not bear to lose a second family.

She knew without a doubt that if the team was forced to choose between them, that they would have selected Sam. Sure they loved her, but Sam brought more to the team than she did. Negotiators were easier to replace. Sam had skills none of them did. It was rare to find someone that coped well with the needs of the job, someone that could take lives whenever necessary, and still remain human without completely losing it.

That was the main reason for turnover in SRU. Many officers just could not handle taking a life. They had the skills and ability to do so, but that actual act of having to kill someone was a burden not many could bear well. She knew that she appreciated that Sam and Ed took Sierra One more often than her. Even though she still made a big deal of.

The reason she did that was part of the protection she still felt necessary. Part of her could not let the others see that taking lives was getting harder for her to do. The toll was adding up.

But she felt that if she said anything that some would take it to mean that a woman could not do this job as well as a man. That was far from the truth, but one many would still glom onto.

So, she still made a big deal when she was given Sierra One.

But she hoped every single time that it would be resolved without the need for her to take the shot. And she was grateful every time Sam or Ed took the position. Not that she wanted them to have to take the shot, but that she didn't. It was one reason why she poured extra hours in developing her negotiation skills. She wanted to be good enough to prevent them from having to take those shots.

Jules was pulled out of her musings as she saw Sam and Spike heading out. She smiled and offered "Sam it is snowing. I thought I would offer you a ride home and then to Mayfield. I'd like to volunteer some today too if you think they could use the help."

Sam grinned "They can always use more help. A ride would be nice. I was going to ride my bike home and then take a cab to the soup kitchen and airport."

"Good. Maybe I'll stay until you have to leave for the airport and give you a ride there too" Jules stated.

Spike smiled and was grateful of Jules offer. He was going to offer too but he was expected soon by his family. His nephew was waiting for him to arrive and take him to see Santa at the mall.

He said "I'll help Jules get your bike in her Jeep. No sense in messing with your hand."

Sam nodded and appreciated the offers of help.

The three wished Winnie a Merry Christmas and then headed out.

* * *

 _ **Sam's Apartment – Thursday, December 24th – 1:40 pm**_

They had arrived and then Sam had taken his bike down to his storage locker in the basement and locked it up. When he returned, he began setting his room rights. Jules had helped with the shattered lamp as Sam dealt with is nightstands, clock, the still wet carpet, the contents of his closet and the glass.

Jules dumped the remnants of the broken lamp into the trash can and the tied the bag.

Sam finished drying and putting away the glass and looked at Jules "Thanks for helping me clean that mess up. It was bugging me all day to leave it a mess."

Jules chuckled "Man, some woman is going to hit the jackpot with you Sam. A man that is neat and cleans."

A small barb of pain lanced through Sam's heart, he hoped it would be her. But he smiled and quipped "Not such a jackpot, I don't cook. Omelets are about it. Mostly live on takeout."

She couldn't believe she had just said that. Jules plastered on a smile even though she had just hurt him and her with her unthinking comment and asked "You need any help packing?"

Sam shook his head "Took care of that last night. You sure you want to stay and help until seven? I can always take a cab if you have something else you'd rather do."

A small barb of pain lanced through Jules' heart, she had nothing else to do tonight. The girlfriend she had planned to grab dinner with had called her and begged off because she was sick. All her other girlfriends were with their families and she and the Boss would not be going to Wordy's until tomorrow. It was either go volunteer or go home to an empty, lonely house.

But Jules smiled and said "Volunteering sounds good. My plans don't start until eight, so it works out perfectly."

Yeah, her plans. Go home. Take a long bath. Go to sleep early.

He was glad Jules had plans. Probably hanging out with one of her girlfriends. He was glad she would not be alone on Christmas Eve. There was nothing sadder than being alone on Christmas Eve. He was well educated in that.

Sam nodded and said "Just let me grab my bags and I'll be ready to head out. Oh, and I just need to stop by my neighbor's and give her the perishables. No sense they go to waste."

* * *

 _ **Mayfield Soup Kitchen – Thursday, December 24th – 2:00 pm**_

Sam and Jules walked in to the soup kitchen. It was decorated festively and there was tree in one corner. Sam saw Caroline Bennett and headed straight for her with a smile.

He said "Merry Christmas Caroline."

Caroline smiled and hugged Sam as she said "Merry Christmas Sam." She noticed the bandage on his hand and the bruising on the side of his head. "Rough day?"

Jules nodded and said "Yeah a bit."

Turning to Jules, Caroline smiled warmly "Welcome Jules, it is nice to see you again. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too. I'd like to help today. Just point me in the direction you need" Jules responded.

Caroline considered Sam's hand and thought that vegetable prep and dish washing probably were not the best for him. As she was thinking, three others joined them. She recognized all of them and smiled "Welcome Greg, Ed and Clark. Merry Christmas. Are you here to volunteer?"

Ed nodded as Greg gave Jules a quick hug.

Greg looked at Caroline and said "Yes we are here to volunteer until seven tonight."

Sam gave him a surprised look. Until seven. Wow. He grinned.

Ed glanced at Sam and knew he might be a bit ticked off at his next words but he would say them anyways. Sam was important.

Catching Caroline's eye, Ed said "Sam's had a rough few days. He's on light duty. I know from when we volunteered here before, that Sam usually does a lot of your heavy lifting. Greg and I are here in his stead. Whatever heavy jobs you have, assign them to us and assign Sam something lighter."

Sam shook his head "Dr. Fraser said I was healing fine."

Greg patted his shoulder "And we plan to keep it that way. You have been looking forward to going home to your family and we want you to arrive in good condition."

Clark raised his hand and said "I'm good at peeling if you need help with the vegetables."

Caroline nodded and then said "I recall that from Thanksgiving. Fast as fast can be. Yes, we could use your help there."

Clark trotted off.

Ed turned to Jules and Greg and said "I know this is last minute but I Sophie and I would like it if you would join us for dinner after we finish here tonight."

Jules was floored. She glanced at Sam and then said "I'm sure I could change my plans. I'd really like that. But I have to drop Sam off at the airport first. Then I'll be there."

Greg nodded. He was not looking forward to an empty house tonight. He then smiled and said "That would very nice."

He wondered what plans Jules was changing. He had been in the briefing room when she got the call from her friend telling she could not make dinner tonight because she was sick. Greg liked the idea of spending Christmas Eve with Jules, Ed, Sophie and Clark. It would be a nice change from years past when he either worked or spent the evening alone.

Ed grinned "Great."

Jules smiled, feeling truly festive now. She turned to Caroline and offered "I'm pretty good at baking. I could help Gladys if she needs it."

"She'd love your help" Caroline stated. Then she looked at Greg and Ed and said "If you two would check with the kitchen manager Fanny, she can direct you to whatever needs moved or lifted."

Ed and Greg nodded and then headed off to the kitchen with Jules.

Caroline smiled at Sam and stated "I have a special task for you if you are up to it."

Sam was a stunned by Ed and Greg showing up. The way Jules had said she could change her plans made him realize that she probably hadn't really had plans. Her deflection had been much like his last year. It made him feel better Jules and the Boss would spend Christmas Eve with Ed and his family.

However, Sam was a little nervous about this special task Caroline had for him. But Sam nodded "Whatever you need help with."

She turned him in the direction of the tree and he saw a comfortable chair with a table next to it filled with books. Around the chair was a large plush rug with tons of pillows on it.

Caroline said "We need someone to read Christmas stories for the kids. Is that something you would be willing to do?"

Sam grinned and then kissed Caroline's cheek "Yeah, I can do that."

He headed for the chair as thoughts of a long-ago Christmas entered his head. Reading to Sara and Natalie had been something he truly enjoyed. Especially on Christmas Eve.

Sam settled into the chair and pulled out his favorite Christmas story of all time, Frosty the Snowman. It was his favorite because it had been Sara's favorite. They had fun, when he was six and she was four, building a snowman with Vicky and Ashley.

He looked at the four kids that came to sit on the carpet. He smiled and started reading. By the time he finished the story, Sam had a group of ten kids. He moved on to Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. By the end of that, he had nearly twenty little kids listening with rapt attention.

Holding up two books, Sam asked "By a show of hands, which one, How the Grinch Stole Christmas or The Polar Express?"

As he held up a book the hands went up. He counted the votes for each and there was a clear winner.

Sam began "Every Who down in Who-ville liked Christmas a lot … but the Grinch, who lived just north of Who-ville, did NOT!"

Jules, Greg and Ed stood just outside the kitchen and watched Sam thoroughly enjoying reading to the kids. The rug was now packed full with thirty or more kids. He had drawn in all the kids that were here. They saw a little girl crawl up into his lap and a soft smile form on his face.

Each had much the same thought. They were glad Sam was having a merry Christmas this year.

.

* * *

 _ **AN:** Happy New Year! May you all be blessed with happiness and good fortune and most of all people that care about you and make your life beautiful._


	4. Musings, Dinner, Flight & Surprising Sam

**Musings, Dinner, Flight & Surprising Sam**

* * *

 _ **Toronto Airport – Thursday, December 24th – 8:00 pm**_

Adam was glad he had hitched a ride with Zach. They had a good time on the flight down from Ottawa. He did not get to spend as much time with his little brother as he would like. Especially now that Zach was in Special Forces. So just having one on one time with him on the flight down here had been nice.

As he walked to the private jet terminal he had a huge smile on his face, a rarity for him. This year was too long in coming. It was something he never thought would occur but was damned glad was happening. He was really looking forward to Christmas this year.

So many things for so many years had prevented them from having a truly happy Christmas. Nothing like he remembered before Sara had died. Before she had died Christmas was always a joyful time and the family made extra effort to gather together. Back then it was rare that someone was missing. Normally it was one of the dads, Uncle Will mostly.

But after Sara died it just wasn't the same. They had lost Sam that year too. All the joy left Sam. It was like looking at a burnt-out Christmas light the few years he was able to see Sam at Christmas. They never gathered in Ottawa because Sam's parents were concerned that he would go catatonic. That was highly probable, so everyone agreed to different locations. But that made it difficult given the mix of duty stations and little kids with activities.

Once he joined the Air Force, Adam was one of the ones that often had difficulty getting leave for Christmas. He had been low man on the totem pole for many years. As such, he normally had to cover for more senior men. It bothered him the most because Zach was little and he wanted to be there for him being his only sibling. With thirteen years between them, he had missed a lot of Zach growing up.

But he always kept in touch with him. They corresponded in letters and email often. He knew about Zach's girlfriends before their parents did. He knew a lot of things about Zach that his parents didn't because Zach confided in him and sought his advice often.

Adam caught sight of Sam in one of the chairs and his random thoughts concluded.

Sam had his feet up on one of his bags, his eyes closed and he was listening to his music player. He looked relaxed. Then Adam noticed the bandaged hand and the bruise on the side of Sam's head. Damn, today must have been a rough one if he was looking like that.

Adam sighed and came to a stop in front of Sam, "Hey cuz, you ready to take off?"

Sam was kicked back and listening to Christmas tunes. He opened his eyes at the voice, that was not Zach. Sam grinned as he sat up. His voice came out a little gruff "I didn't expect you."

"Decided to keep Zach company on the flight down. He's taking care of refueling. I came to fetch you" Adam explained. Then he asked "You're not coming down with a cold, are you? You sound a little ragged."

Standing up, Sam shook his head and took a sip of his coffee then said "Little dry. Spent hours reading aloud to the kids at Mayfield."

Adam asked "Don't you normally do all the fetch and carry and washing stuff?"

"Yeah, but they wouldn't let me this year. I'll tell you all about it on the flight" Sam said and bent to get his bags.

Adam grabbed his bags before Sam could and said "Well if they wouldn't let you, there must be a reason. Let me get these for you."

Sam chuckled and didn't put up a fuss as he quipped "You'd make a good porter if you ever decided to give up the Air Force."

Chuckling Adam responded in kind, "From the looks of you, you'd make a good crash dummy when you are ready to hang up SRU."

Sam shrugged "Some days it feels like I already am."

The two of them headed out to the airplane.

* * *

 _ **Ed's Home – Thursday, December 24th – 8:00 pm**_

Jules knocked on the door and smiled as Clark opened it and said "Aunt Jules" and waved her in. Clark bounded back up the stairs calling back "I'll be down in a minute."

The house was warm and festively decorated. There was a fire in the living room fireplace and the Boss and Ed were seated in front of it talking. Wonderful smells were emanating from the kitchen.

Jules waved to Ed and Greg as she headed for the kitchen to see if Sophie needed a hand.

Sophie looked up as she pulled a roast from the oven and smiled, "Jules you made it. I was beginning to worry."

Jules set down her purse and said "Had to take a detour due to an accident and a few road closures. Took a bit longer than I expected. Can I help with something?"

Putting a foil tent over the roast so it could rest a bit before carving Sophie answered "Everything is done. Just need to let the roast rest a moment. Would you like a glass of wine? I've got a nice red opened."

"Sounds good" Jules said.

Sophie poured one glass for Jules and one glass for herself then handed one to Jules as she said "I'm glad you were able to change your plans at the last minute. When Ed asked me to have dinner later than normal so he and Greg could go help Sam at the soup kitchen, I thought that you and Greg might like to join us."

Taking a sip of wine, Jules looked at the feast Sophie had prepared and smiled "Everything smells delicious. Looks like you were busy in the kitchen all day."

Sophie smiled "From what Ed tells me, so were you. And I enjoy cooking. It's nice to have more than just Ed and Clark to cook for."

Greg and Ed entered the kitchen and Ed asked "Did Sam get off to the airport okay?"

Jules nodded "Yeah, I left him in the private jet terminal. He was expecting Zach about eight so he should be in the air soon."

"Good" Ed responded as held his wine glass out to Sophie for a refill.

Greg sipped his coffee and said "Sam accepted his special assignment at Mayfield with good grace tonight."

Sophie asked "What was his assignment?"

Ed grinned and answered "Reading Christmas stories to the kids. Sam had them in the palm of his hands."

"He did seem to enjoy it" Greg shared.

Clark bounded into the room and smiled as he asked "Is it time to eat yet? I'm starving."

Sophie hugged Clark and said "Yes. The roast just needs to be carved. Ed, could you do that please while Clark and I set the other dishes on the table?"

Ed nodded and then moved the roast to a platter and started to carve it as the others moved the many dishes to the table. Once he was done Ed carried the platter to the table and set it down. He said "Reminds me of the Who-ville feast, right down to the roast beast."

Jules and Greg chuckled recalling Sam's reading of the Grinch Who Stole Christmas.

Clark looked around the table and remarked "I really liked helping today. We have so much more than some families. But sometimes it is the simplest things that bring the most joy."

He then pulled four wrapped items out of his pocket and handed one to his mom, his dad, Uncle Greg and Aunt Jules and said "I made these for you today, I hope you like them. You can open them now."

Sophie recognized the wrapping paper that she had given Clark when he got home from Mayfield. He had been secretive when she asked why he needed it and raced up to his room.

The four looked at the wrapped presents for a moment then at Clark. They unwrapped them and smiles lit their faces.

Clark said "I got a kick out of helping the little kids make them at Mayfield today. Ms. Bennett said they had more than enough supplies so she let me make some for all of you. I have one for Sam, Spike, Wordy and Leah too."

They each held a brightly painted piece of wood in the shape of a large Christmas light bulb. Around the top, which was the base of the light bulb, was a pipe cleaner twisted and the ends were shaped like antlers. There were two googly-eyes glued to the wide part of the bulb and at the tip of the bulb was a small red pompom glued to it. A reindeer light bulb ornament, cute.

But the best part was on the back. On the back, Clark had written in permanent marker 'you make a difference'.

Sophie hugged Clark until he squirmed away blushing a bit and stated "I'm hungry, can we eat now?"

Everyone laughed, thanked Clark and started passing the food around. The five of them had a wonderful dinner, laughing and enjoying each other's company.

As Jules finished her dinner she smiled thinking that she was having a merry Christmas too with her chosen family. The ones that were always there for her and never let her down.

Greg sipped his after-dinner coffee as Sophie was serving them all pie. He looked at Clark and had a pang of hurt thinking that he would love to be having Christmas Eve with Dean. But he pushed that to the background and just enjoyed the moment. This team was his family. That was enough.

* * *

 _ **Airplane Enroute to Ottawa – Thursday, December 24th – 8:30 pm**_

Sam's stomach started growling as Zach took off. He really should have stopped to grab something or make a sandwich before he left his apartment. But he did not want to make Jules late for dinner at Ed's.

As he was thinking if he had any power bars in his bags a baggie of cookies landed in his lap. Sam looked at Adam.

Adam chuckled and said "I heard your stomach from here. There's only a few left, Zach and I ate most on the way down but it should tide you over until we get to Scott's."

Sam opened the bag as he said "Thanks."

As Sam took a bite of the cookie Adam said "I talked to my dad today. They got the results of the investigation into the crashes."

"What were they?" Sam asked hoping it was not pilot error. That would be hard for the boys to accept.

Adam's expression darkened a bit and said "Not pilot error. Apparently, it was the recent software upgrade. There was an error that caused the altitude calculation to be off. One missing decimal in thousands of lines of code."

"Wow. So what now?" Sam asked.

"The contractor and software company will fix the error and all flights on aircraft installed with that software have been grounded until it is fully retested. The families will receive settlement monies based on insurance the company maintains in case of such an error. The Kettle boy's monies will be placed in trust funds to assist them with college educations and living expenses while in college and if they don't go to college they will each get a lump payment when they turn twenty-five" Adam shared.

Sam munched on a cookie and then responded "That is good that they will be able to go to college if they desire. But that is probably of little comfort to them right now. I'm sure they would rather have their father."

Adam nodded but then smiled as he shared "Osmund and Carol are in seventh heaven though. They never had kids of their own, Carol loves having the boys there. They will be good for the boys. They will provide a loving home for the boys."

Sam nodded in agreement based on what he observed last night. Then he grinned and changed the subject, "I can't wait to surprise mom. I almost came clean the other day. Her voice was a bit melancholy when I told her I had to work and would not be there. After not being there on Thanksgiving I made me feel bad to make her sad."

Grinning Adam said "You will be completely forgiven for your ruse once she sees the entire family there."

Zach called back to them "So Sam, what is your surprise? Adam still won't tell me no matter how much I bug him."

Sam laughed and answered "You'll see tomorrow."

Zach groaned.

Adam laughed.

Sam happily munched on cookies.

* * *

 _ **Scott's Home – Thursday, December 24th – 10:00 pm**_

Sam, Zach and Adam entered Scott's home and headed for the basement quietly so as to not wake Laura and the babies.

Adam held Zach back with a look and let Sam enter the basement stairs first. They had a little surprise of their own for Sam. Zach just grinned and waited holding Sam's bags.

Sam stopped at the top of the stairs and whispered back to Adam and Zach "Scott must have gone to bed. It's dark in the basement."

Adam nodded and said "No matter. We have an early morning anyways. We'll just drop your bags off and head out."

Starting again, Sam flipped on the light switch. As he did so the room was flooded with colorful lights and his cousins all started singing We Wish You a Merry Christmas.

Sam stopped three steps down the stairs as he looked around the basement. Tiffany, Pamela, Scott, Ashley, Vicky, Jeff, Amelia, Natalie and Kyle were all there and singing to him.

Adam patted Sam's back and moved him down the stairs as he and Zach joined in the singing.

When Sam got to the bottom of the stairs Natalie rushed to him and gave him a huge hug. Natalie whispered "Surprise. Missed you Sammy. Glad you came home. Merry Christmas."

Then Sam was swamped by the others as he was passed around from hug to hug as he was welcomed by all of his cousins. Sam was stunned but grinning like a loon.

After everyone greeted him Sam took a moment to look at them all. Family. He had family again. He gave them a WOW smile and said "Man, this is some surprise."

Scott grinned "We couldn't resist."

Natalie grabbed Sam's right hand and pulled him to a couch and said "Come sit down."

Wincing only slightly as Nat grabbed his right hand, Sam went with her and sat. Nat sat next to him and smiled "So what is this surprise Zach keeps moaning about that Adam will not tell?"

Vicky realized that Natalie was in her own world again and did not see Sam's condition or wince. She sat down next to him and asked "Are you okay Sam? That's quite a bruise and your hand."

Natalie bit her lower lip as she looked at her brother and saw his condition and his wrapped hand "Oh my, did I hurt your hand? I'm so sorry, I was just so happy to see you."

Sam grinned and said "No you didn't hurt me Nat." Then he turned to Vicky and said "I'm good. Just a few rough days at work."

Scott moved forward and simply gave Sam the look.

Sam laughed and shook his head at Scott's look "Truly I'm good. So, says Dr. Fraser just this morning. He rechecked my chest and said it was healing fine."

"You required to take any meds?" Scott asked.

Sam nodded and said "In my bag. But only if I need them. I'm good right now."

Jeff fished out the pain meds and looked at them then commented "Some pretty heavy duty meds. You sure you don't need them?" He tossed the meds to Scott to review.

"I'm sure. I haven't done anything strenuous since I held on as the roof collapsed under me this morning" Sam stated.

Natalie gasped "You were on a roof that collapsed?"

"Yeah, we were serving a warrant on the Grinch Brigade" Sam responded.

Kyle laughed "Grinch Brigade. Man, I gotta hear this one."

Sam launched into the call this morning. That lead him into telling his cousins all about the twelve days leading up to today. Sometime during his telling a huge roast beef sandwich and chips ended up in front of him along with an iced coffee.

He ate as he talked and his cousins listened and laughed at the funny things that happened in the past twelve days. Especially the part about Sam getting high, with the Lieutenant Governor no less. They all agreed they would have loved to see that.

Sam finished saying "Spike even created a song modeled off the twelve days of Christmas."

Ashley smiled as she said "Sing it. Spike is so funny I bet it is great."

Sam's voice was a little ragged from reading and talking so much but he took a sip of coffee then launched into the last verse, skipping the repetitive building of the verses "On the twelfth day of Christmas, Team One gave to me twelve brothers believing, eleven bagpipers caterwauling, ten leopards a leaping, nine ladies flirting, eight maids a gunrunning, seven swans a sinking, six geese attacking, five onion rings, four falling birds, three mother hens, two Jammy doves, and a frozen sniper in a pear tree."

They were all laughing again and Sam looked at the clock. It was eleven-fifty-nine. He thought that this Christmas Eve had been the best ever. All his cousins were here and his sister too.

Sam yawned and stretched a bit stifling a wince as his muscle started to revolt a from this morning's roof incident and subsequent drop to the ground. He eyed his pain meds and thought it might be a good idea to take a couple. But he wasn't going to let his cousins know he needed them. He would just take them before he went to sleep.

Scott saw Sam's slow movements and Jeff was right, those were some heavy pain meds. Sam would not have been prescribed them unless he needed them. It was time to break up the party and let Sam get some rest. Besides, he Adam and Jeff had a little something for Sam that they wanted to give him privately.

He cleared his throat, then Scott said "I think we all should grab a few hours of sleep. We all need to be up and over to Uncle Will's at 0500."

Everyone except Scott, Adam and Jeff headed out after saying good night and reiterating they would be where Sam instructed them to be by 0500.

When it was just the four of them Scott grabbed the pain meds and tossed them to Sam as he said "Take your meds Doppelganger."

Sam opened the meds and responded "Okay." He downed two pills with the last of his iced coffee and said "That was fun. Thanks guys."

Adam nodded and said "It was. But we have something for you that we wanted to give you without the others around."

Looking between Scott, Adam and Jeff he wondered what it might be.

Then Scott handed him a small box wrapped in princess paper. He laughed a bit and said "Really, princess paper."

Scott, Adam and Jeff all sat down in front of Sam as Jeff said "Not just any princess paper."

Sam stopped chuckling and looked at the paper. His lower lip quivered a bit and his eyes teared up. He looked at them and said "How?"

Adam wiped the tear from his eye and said "We looked at the pictures of Sara's last birthday. Then we searched until we found the exact same paper. It was important."

Scott's voice was choked with emotion as he said "Open it."

Sam carefully undid the tape not ripping the paper at all. When he uncovered a small box, Sam stopped and took a breath as his hand hovered to open the box.

He lifted the top off and tears sprouted in his eyes. He sucked in a breath and stared at the ornament. His hand shook as he reached in and lifted it up. Tears dripped out of his eyes as he clutched the ornament to his heart.

Sam looked at Scott, then Adam and Jeff, they all had tears in their eyes. He choked out in a gravelly emotion laden voice "I'll cherish it always."

Scott hugged Sam and said "It will be like having Sara with you for Christmas."

Adam hugged Sam and said "Merry Christmas Sam, it's been too long without you."

Jeff hugged Sam and said "I was afraid it would be wrong. I'm glad you like it. Merry Christmas."

Sam pulled the ornament away from his heart to gaze at it again.

It was a yellow ceramic star with a photo of him and Sara sitting at Sara's little table with teacups in front of them. Sara was smiling happily. His expression was not so happy and bespoke of being none too pleased to have his picture taken. That was because he had let Sara dress him up for a Queen's Tea with a tiara and all the accoutrements befitting a princess.

Below the picture in blue childlike writing it said 'My Sammy, World's Best Brother'.

Sam wiped the happy tears away and smiled at his cousins as he said "Merry Christmas" as his hand closed around the star and held it to his heart again.


	5. Op Merry Surprise & Remembering Brothers

**Operation Merry Surprise & Remembering Brothers **

* * *

_**General Braddock's Home – Friday, December 25th – 5:00 am**_

Rubbing his hands in the cold, cold, morning as snow fell heavily Sam grinned. The last to arrive were Scott and Laura with the twins. Everyone else had started showing up about four-forty-five for what everyone was calling Operation Merry Surprise.

Mike grinned along with Drake as he turned off the alarm system and unlocked the kitchen door for everyone. Mike patted Sam's shoulder and said "Merry Christmas."

Sam said "Thanks Mike. Merry Christmas to you too. Drake, Merry Christmas."

Drake nodded and said "Have fun Sam. Catch you later."

Everyone started filing into the kitchen. They were all carrying kids, presents or bags of food. Sam had arranged with everyone to bring their gifts and food for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Last night the husbands of Tiffany, Pamela, Ashley and Vicky had delivered the Santa gifts for their kids to Mike. Early this morning while his mom, dad and Natalie slept, Mike and Drake had moved the gifts into the library and under the tree so the kids would not see them.

Kimberly, Ann and Connie took charge of the kitchen with the food. Tiffany, Pamela, Ashley, Vicky, Amelia and Laura herded all the kids into the family room and kept them quiet. Sam, his uncles and all the male cousins including the husbands of his female cousins carried all the presents quietly into the library and set them out.

It took them nearly thirty minutes to get everything organized. Then Sam headed up to Natalie's room to wake her so she could set her part in motion. Mark took charge of moving everyone into the library and getting them situated.

* * *

 _ **General Braddock's Home – Natalie's Room – Friday, December 25th – 5:30 am**_

Sam opened the door and padded stealthily into Natalie's room. He stood and watched her sleeping for a moment. A small bittersweet thought entered his head. Natalie was so young when Sara died. She never really got to know the wonderful person that Sara was. Her only memories of Sara were ones that others told her.

Natalie had never truly known what Christmas was like before Sara died. He had missed out on a lot and knew what he was missing. Sadly, Natalie had missed out too, but she didn't know it. She had never really experienced a Christmas with everyone here. Sam truly hoped this Christmas was memorable for her too.

Their lives were both impacted when Sara died. Sam could see that the entire family was impacted. He decided not to examine that too closely, because if he did he might start blaming himself again. Not for Sara's death, but for everything that happened after because he could not cope with her loss and freaked out so badly that he could no longer live here.

Sam moved forward and knelt down. He whispered "Merry Christmas Natalie."

Natalie's eyes flickered open and she smiled "Is it time already?"

Sam nodded "Yeah. You know what to do, right?"

Sitting up Natalie yawned and stretched "Yeah. Get dressed then go wake Mom and Dad up and insist we do an early morning gift exchange. Make sure I head down before they do so I can join everyone else by the tree."

Smiling Sam said "Yep you got it. I'll see you in a bit. Oh and it snowed a lot last night, another foot of snow added. The kids are gonna enjoy making snowmen."

Natalie smiled "Sounds like fun." Then she stood and hugged Sam "Merry Christmas Sammy."

Sam hugged Natalie back and then slipped out the door without making a sound. He headed for the library.

* * *

 _ **General Braddock's Home – William's and Yvonne's Room – Friday, December 25th – 5:45 am**_

Natalie knocked on the door and then opened it and went in. She plastered on a bright smile that got her anything she desired and said "Merry Christmas Mom and Dad."

William and Yvonne woke and blinked at Natalie.

Yvonne said "Nat, it is so early. I thought we agreed to get up about eight. You had a late night at your girlfriend's party last night."

Natalie grinned knowing her little white lie was necessary. She couldn't let on that she was over at Scott's. They would wonder why.

She said "I couldn't sleep. I laid in bed for a long time. Can we do presents early. Sammy doesn't start work until seven. We could even call him all together. I'm sure he won't mind us interrupting his workout."

Personally, Natalie could not understand why Sam would workout for two hours before his twelve-hour shifts started. She would rather sleep in until she absolutely needed to get up. But then Sammy was always way more responsible than her.

William looked at the clock and was about to tell Natalie to go back to bed. But then she looked at him with those puppy dog eyes. They always got to him.

He smiled and said "Give us a few moments to dress. We'll be down in about ten or so minutes."

Natalie jumped and squealed a little, being overly dramatic on purpose, well sort of. She was really was looking forward to this. Natalie rushed to the bed and gave her Dad a hug and said "Merry Christmas. Thank you, Daddy. I'll be waiting in the library and I'll already have your coffee waiting. No need to detour to the kitchen."

When their door closed, Yvonne looked at William and smiled "You're a big softy. She flashes that smile and those eyes at you and you cannot deny her."

William chuckled and said "I know. But it is Christmas. I haven't seen her this happy for Christmas ever. And she is right, we can call Samuel."

Yvonne nodded and smiled though she really didn't feel that happy. Sam was so close but still so far away. This would be the eighth Christmas in a row she did not get to see Sam.

As she got dressed she thought about all the long calls she had had with Sam lately. She could tell he wanted to be here. She had almost called Norm and told him to order Sam to take the day off. But she knew that if Sam's team was working there was no way he would take the day off. The sense of duty was too deeply ingrained in him.

The call that really hurt was the one where she learned what Sam had been thinking on his ninth Christmas. William never told her that Sam did not play with any of the toys he was given that year. She supposed it was that William had not wanted to cause her more pain.

When they found Sam's gifts were missing, William had left the hotel at midnight to try and find someplace open. He did not return until four am and that was after also going to the airport and demanding that they search for the bag several times. She had wanted to burst into tears when Sam was sitting there with tears silently running down his face. She tried to hold him and explain but he would not hear it and pulled away.

That could not have happened at a worse time. It sealed in Sam's head that he was not wanted and that they did not love him anymore. But that was so far from the truth. She wished they could have had more time together that day but William had to return to the base that afternoon. If only they could have spent more time, perhaps she could have made it clear to Sam what happened. But she didn't and she couldn't.

If there were two days Yvonne could ever change, it would be the day Sara died and Sam's ninth Christmas. Both days had broken her heart.

She looked at William and said "I know Sam has to work today. But I cannot go another year without seeing him on Christmas. Do you think we could get Zach to fly us down to Toronto this afternoon. We could surprise Sam after work. I could make him dinner and be there when he opens his gifts."

William pulled Yvonne into his arms and said "Yes, we can do that. I'm sure Zach would be more than willing. If not, I could ask Mike."

Yvonne shook her head "No, not Mike. He rarely gets to spend time with his family. I would not want to pull him away from them today."

"Then Zach it is. We can do something special for him for the trouble. Perhaps I could extend his leave a bit. Connie would like that" William stated.

Yvonne smiled "Yes she would love that."

* * *

 _ **General Braddock's Home – Library – Friday, December 25th – 5:50 am**_

Natalie rushed in and closed the doors behind her as she whispered "Operation Merry Surprise is a go."

She looked at the tree and everyone standing around it and then looked confused and asked "Where's Sam?"

Everyone pointed to a wingback chair that was facing the tree.

Natalie walked around it and said "Why are you sitting there? Come stand next to me."

Sam shook his head and handed Natalie a small stuffed pony as he said "Hold this."

"Sam you're being weird. Why would I want to hold a pony?" Natalie scoffed.

"You'll see. Just please do it and don't say a word that I'm here. Got it?" Sam said. Then he added "I'll explain later."

Natalie took the pony and joined the rest of them by the tree. She didn't get it but there was something in Sam's eyes that told her this was important to him, so she did it. And he said he would explain later.

Five minutes later the library door opened and William and Yvonne walked in. They took two steps in and then stopped in their tracks as everyone around the tree said together "Merry Christmas."

Yvonne's hand covered her mouth as she leaned into William who instantly put his arm around Yvonne to steady her. Not that he was any too steady himself.

Their shocked and surprised eyes gazed at all the family around the tree.

Mark and Kimberly were there. Their children Tiffany, Pamela, Ashley and Jeff stood next to them. Tiffany' husband Anthony and their children David and Leslie sat in front of them. Pamela's husband Riley and their three kids, Carol, John and Wendy were there. Ashley's husband Jon was holding their daughter Diana.

Erik and Ann stood with Scott, Vicky, Amelia, Kyle and Scott's wife Laura. Ann and Laura were holding Anna and Jerrell. Derek, Vicky's husband, was holding their youngest two-year-old Tony. Their four-year-old twins Caleb and Courtney were sitting in front of Vicky with Amelia's husband Christopher.

Ryan and Connie stood with Adam and Zach.

Their eyes landed on Natalie and she was holding a stuffed pony. It was exactly like the one she had received her first Christmas when she was just an infant.

William started forward with Yvonne as he looked lovingly at Natalie. He found his voice first and said with a little disbelief "Natalie. You did all this?"

Natalie shook her head and said "No not me, I'm just an elf. Santa arranged this little surprise."

Yvonne's eyes teared up as she said "Oh my. Everyone is here. This is such a lovely surprise."

Then she turned her head into William's shoulder when she could not stop the little sob as she thought, no not everyone. Almost everyone. But not Sam. Not the one she missed the most.

William rubbed Yvonne's back and pulled her along and towards Ann. Ann would soothe Yvonne.

He knew what Yvonne was thinking and it was exactly what he was thinking. There was one missing. Some might say two, but William carried Sara in his heart everywhere, so she was here in spirit. But Samuel was not.

Ann reached out for her sister and held her knowing she was a bit overcome. After a few moments, Ann pushed her back a bit. She gently wiped the tears that were a mix of happiness and sadness from Yvonne's eyes.

She smiled warmly. Ann loved her sister so very much. Yvonne had endured too much over the years. She was about to make her sister very happy.

Ann gently said the words Sam asked her to say "Yvonne, I want you to turn around. Santa brought you something else."

Those words. They were etched in her memory. Yvonne looked up at William and they both slowly turned towards the wingback chair.

Sam sat with a Santa hat on his head in the chair as he grinned at his stunned parents and said "Merry Christmas, Mom and Dad. I caught a ride in Santa's sleigh."

Yvonne's face dissolved in happy tears as she rushed toward Sam with her arms wide open "Oh, Sam."

William moved forward with Yvonne with a wide grin plastered on his face "Samuel you came home."

Sam was embraced by his parents as the rest of the family said "Merry Christmas."

Yvonne wiped her eyes and looked at Sam "This is the best Christmas present ever." Then her face fell a bit, "Your gifts, I sent them to your apartment."

Natalie piped up, "No you didn't. Remember you asked me to mail them. I didn't. I hid them. They are under the tree with everyone else's presents."

Yvonne hugged Natalie and said "Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me."

Natalie looked at her Dad. Mom was being very emotional this morning, she didn't get it.

Sam saw Natalie's confused look and said "That pony you have is just like the pony you got when you were a baby the Christmas Dad surprised us by coming home. It was a good Christmas. I wanted you to have one because Sara asked Santa for a stuffed pony for you when she sat on Santa's lap. Sara was only four but she asked for that for you before she asked Santa for a bike for herself."

Natalie found a lump in her throat as she looked at the pony. No one ever talked about Sara at Christmas. It was like she didn't exist.

But Sam had just talked about her. And more than that he gave her something that was tied to Sara. A memory she could hold of her sister she did not know except through pictures.

She teared up and then hugged Sam as she barely said "Thank you Sammy. I will treasure this always. Thank you for talking about Sara. I wish I had my own memories of her."

William and Yvonne wrapped their arms around Sam and Natalie. The four hugged as the other adults looked on.

Ann leaned into Erik and said "Sam did good."

Erik nodded "Yes he did."

* * *

 _ **General Braddock's Home – Kitchen – Friday, December 25th – 8:00 am**_

Sam sat at the kitchen island sipping coffee. Over the past two hours, tons of paper was ripped and scattered with ribbons and bows as squeals of delight and exclaims of 'I wanted this' and 'thank you' were heard. It was the most joyous Christmas morning he had had in a very long time.

Wordy's last year was nice and he felt like he belonged, but seeing his mom this morning had blown him away. In a good way. He was glad that he could bring her such joy by simply being here.

Sam had sought a calmer place to open the present from Spike. The kids were happily and loudly playing with their toys in the library. His mom and aunts were the only other ones in the kitchen at the moment.

Yvonne saw Sam looking at a present on the counter and wandered over. She asked "Who is that from?"

Sam looked up and said "Spike. He gave it to me yesterday and said to open it today."

"Then you should open it" Yvonne urged with a warm smile.

Unwrapping it slowly, Sam wondered what Spike got him. He ran his fingernail along the tape holding the lid on the box and then lifted it. His breath caught.

Yvonne looked at the ornament and asked "Who is that?" Then she said "That looks a lot like Ben except the hair."

Sam picked up the ornament. This year was the year of the ornament for sure. Spike had taken the picture of nine-year-old Matt, the one he carried in his wallet, and had it imprinted on a green ceramic bell shaped ornament.

He flipped it around and saw the words 'believe in the power of music, it heals the soul'.

Sam looked up at his mom, "This is Matt at nine. It was taken a little bit before his mother was murdered by his father. Matt said that the day the picture was taken was one of his happiest days before he met me."

Yvonne saw the sadness enter Sam's eyes and hugged him as she softly said "Matt was a good man. He is missed by many. I'm glad you two had each other. I get the feeling he is still with you in spirit. Like Sara is with all of us."

He nodded and then said "Spike said great minds think alike. He didn't know how right he was. I hope he likes my present as much as I like his."

"Whatever it is, I'm sure Spike will like it" Yvonne responded and then lightly kissed Sam's cheek and said "So what is this surprise Zach keeps moaning that no one will tell him about?"

Sam grinned and said "You'll see after breakfast."

Yvonne laughed and said "Better not be oil pan sleds."

Sam chuckled "No, but that would have been fun too."

* * *

 _ **Spike's Home – Kitchen – Friday, December 25th – 8:00 am**_

Spike headed to the kitchen for a little privacy. This morning had been fun watching Gina's kids open their gifts. Yesterday had been great fun too. The kids enjoyed sitting on Santa's lap.

So far things with his Pa were good. His pa did not bring up work or harp on him about quitting, it was a nice morning.

As he sat down he looked at his Ma and smiled "Buon Natale Ma."  
(Merry Christmas Ma.)

She turned from stirring homemade hot chocolate and smiled "Buon Natale Michelangelo."  
(Merry Christmas Michelangelo.)

Then she poured a cup for him and topped it with loads of mini marshmallows.

Spike smiled and said "Proprio come piace a me. Grazie Ma."  
(Just like I like it. Thanks Ma.)

After she set the hot chocolate down for him she asked "Che cosa hai lì?"  
(What do you have there?)

"A gift from Sam" Spike said and started to unwrap it.

Spike lifted the top off the box and his breath caught.

Mrs. Scarlatti rushed to him and said "Mikey cosa si tratta? Che c'è?"  
(Mikey what is it? What is wrong?)

His mother put her hand on his back as tears sprouted and he leaned into her. She looked inside the box and saw. She pulled Mikey into a hug and held him tightly as he cried.

When his initial reaction subsided, Spike pulled out of his mother's hug. Then he wiped his eyes and lifted out the ornament.

It was an oval ceramic with a picture imprinted on it of him and Lou that was taken on the beach in Ocho Rios, Jamaica. They were both smiling and had their arms over each other's shoulders. He turned it around and found that Sam had written in permanent marker 'Happy Feet and Spike, Brothers Forever'.

That made him laugh. Sam remembered him telling all about Lou on the dance floor in Jamaica. He turned it back around and tears prickled his eyes again.

God, he missed Lou. This year was tough without him. But the team and especially Sam had helped him through it.

Spike then saw what was under the ornament. It was ten wallet sized pictures of the same one that was on the ornament. Spike understood that gesture, Vanessa had sent Sam several of his prized photo of Matt. He took one out of the box and then pulled out his wallet.

He smiled as he put the picture in his wallet. Like the black and gold bracelet he always wore this would be a way to keep Lou close.

Lou might be gone from this world, but he was not forgotten. He took out two more pictures and then put the ornament back in the box. Spike would take these with him when he visited Lou's parent's later this afternoon. He would relate to them the fun the two of them had together in Jamaica. Let them know that he still thought about Lou often.

Spike thought that Lou was right, though for a long time he did not believe it. But Lou was right, everything was going to be okay.

He picked up his hot chocolate and smiled at his Ma "Tutto è a posto Ma."  
(Everything is okay Ma.)

His mom hugged him again and then went back to the stove to pour hot chocolate for the grandkids. Then she headed out to the family room with the hot chocolates.

Spike sat a while all by himself in the kitchen lost in his own thought. He grinned again, great minds did think alike. What were the odds of him and Sam getting each other ornaments with photos of the brothers they lost?

Then Spike realized pretty darned good odds. This year had been all about ornaments. Spike hoped Sam liked his ornament of Matt as much as he like his of Lou and him. It would be something he cherished.

Gina came into the kitchen and asked "Ma said you opened a present that upset you. Are you okay?"

Spike nodded and asked "Did I ever tell you about the vacation that Lou and I took to Jamaica?"

Gina shook her head and sat down "No but I'd love to hear about it."

She reached for his hot chocolate and took a sip and she smiled as Mikey began to tell her.

Gina could see Mikey needed to talk about Lou. It was hard for him to talk about Lou at home. Their pa just did not get that Mikey was doing something that mattered. She was glad Mikey stuck to his guns and stayed with SRU.

She was proud of her little brother and a bit sad he had lost such a good friend. Gina was glad to see him talking about happy memories of Lou.


	6. Sam's Surprise, Naptime & The Envelope

**Sam's Surprise, Naptime & The Envelope **

* * *

_**General Braddock's Home – Back Patio – Friday, December 25th – 10:00 am**_

Adam grinned at Zach who was still pestering him about the surprise. It was almost as much fun to tease him about what it was as he expected the fun to be when Sam revealed the surprise. Zach had made such a big deal of it whining and groaning to everyone that he was never let in on surprises that almost everyone had gathered on the back patio to see what the surprise was. The truth be told, only he and Sam knew what it was.

Scott looked expectantly at Sam when he gathered him, Adam, Jeff, Zach and Kyle on the back porch. He knew it was going to be good just by the light in Sam's eyes. Hell, it could be a rotten apple and Scott would be happy because of the light in Sam's eyes. He had not seen that light since he was six.

Jeff eyed the tarp covering something rather large on the back patio. Sam was certainly up to something. He had seen him covertly pop a couple of his pain meds so he figured whatever was under there Sam expected to join in and it was expected to be physical. That was the only reason he would ever see his cousin take pain meds willingly.

Zach had learned patience being in Special Forces but this was killing him. He eyed Sam trying to force him to reveal it instead of waiting for their fathers to join them on the patio. Kyle had rushed in to get them when Sam saw they were missing.

Kyle joined his male cousins and said "Okay they are here. So what is this surprise that has Zach's panties all in a bunch?"

As he lightly jabbed his elbow into Kyle's ribs, Zach said "Hey, you want to know just as much as I do."

Kyle laughed and teased "True but you didn't hear me griping to everyone that I wasn't in on a secret. You'd think being in Special Forces would train you better for accepting there are things you just don't get to know."

Sam looked at everyone and his eyes landed on his dad. He smiled and his dad smiled back. They were making strides in reconciling. Things were getting much better and they were learning to see each other through the other's eyes. It stopped arguments before they could begin.

He knew he had a deep connection with his dad. It was his father's voice along with the taste of coffee that had triggered the deluge of memories to return. Sam could see a lot that his dad had done for him for years. His dad always worked in the background and it was always out of love for him. Sam understood that now.

When those memories were triggered this past summer, he got many conflicting memories from his childhood. He had spent the past months trying to sort out fact from what his child's mind had perceived as truth but wasn't. It was still easier to talk to mom about that and they had many long conversations. Slowly, Sam was rebuilding his childhood memories with fact rather than misconstrued fiction.

But this memory he knew was fact. It was like a brightly shining light that lit the darkness that had once been a bleak childhood. It was a memory that, until he found out that his parents did not disown him, had served as a painful reminder of all he had lost when Sara died. But now it was a memory that he cherished with all his heart.

Sam cleared his throat and said to the assembled group "When I was six, Scott and Adam were fourteen and Jeff was eleven." He looked at Zach and added "You were just one." Then he grinned at Kyle and teased "You were still baking as Uncle Erik liked to say."

Kyle chuckled.

Sam looked at both Zach and Kyle and said "So you two did not get to participate in the most epic snowball fight I can remember."

His gaze switched to Scott, Adam and Jeff as he said "You three were a lot older than me but you made my Christmas Eve that year one to remember. We planned some great tactics and I still remember being on the winning team each time."

Sam laughed as he turned his eyes onto Vicky and Ashley "That includes the team that you two and Sara formed to rescue me from the tree when Scott, Adam and Jeff chased me up it when I bragged a little too much about winning."

Vicky smiled remembering that day. Building a snowman with Ashley, Sara and Sam. Then making snow angels with Sara while the boys had their snowball war.

Ashley said "That was all Sara's doing. She saw her Sammy was treed and wasn't about to let the big bullies keep you there."

"Hey, we weren't bullying him. The runt deserved to be treed" Jeff quipped with a smile.

Sam gained control again and said "Anyway. I remember asking Scott if he thought a nerf launcher, the one I was hoping to get and did get, might be a good snow rifle. He laughed and thought it would be a good idea. When Adam and I were taking on Scott and Jeff, Adam lent me his slingshot to lob snowballs at them from a distance they couldn't throw. It worked to distract them and Adam snuck up with a snowball bomb."

He smiled as he picked up the edge of the tarp and said "Mother nature helped out. We have tons of snow on the ground, reminds me of that year with the amount. I asked for Adam's help and he came through."

Zach shot a look at his brother "You knew and you didn't tell me."

Adam grinned then laughed as he said "Now you know what it is like to be on the 'no change' list now."

Zach groaned.

Sam and Adam laughed.

Then Sam lifted the tarp and revealed his surprise. He stated "Originally I asked Adam to get six of them so we could have an epic snow war. But then I remembered how much fun we all had with paintball going against our dads. And then I thought, the whole family is going to be here. So… I got more. Who's game for a snow ball war?"

Everyone stared at the pile of snowball launcher.

Tiffany's oldest child, fifteen-year-old David, exclaimed "So cool."

Ashley's eight-year-old daughter Diana pulled on her father Jon's arm and said "I wanna be on your team Daddy."

Zach looked at Sam and said "You and me cuz. Special Forces against the rest of them."

Sam grinned as everyone started forward to get snowball launchers with excitement. Sam looked at Zach and then his dad as he responded "If it is Special Forces against everyone else then we need my Dad on our team."

William smiled and hugged his son. Then he stepped back and said "The three of us will take them all out."

Yvonne was holding Jerrell and standing next to Ann as they watched almost everyone arm themselves with snowball launchers and form up teams. Even Vicky's four-year-old twins Caleb and Courtney were getting involved with the help of their parents after Vicky asked Kimberly to hold two-year-old Tony.

Laura held Anna for a moment then passed her off to Ann as she asked "Do you mind watching Anna and Jerrell?"

Ann smiled and said "Go, have fun, we have the little ones covered."

Yvonne sighed and brushed away a happy tear, "I remember that Christmas so well. It was one of the happiest we ever had. It was the year Sam found out about the Christmas spirit that lives within all of us. I'm so happy to see his spirit shining so brightly again."

Ann put her free arm around Yvonne and said "I'm so happy for you too Yvonne. Sam has truly returned to us. It is so good to see the light in his eyes again."

Connie put her arm around Yvonne too, "We all missed him for so long. I'm glad Sam came home again."

Kimberly came up behind them and put her hand on Yvonne's shoulder in sisterly affection. They had all seen the pain Yvonne had endured ever since Sara died. She said softly "I think Sara is smiling right now."

Yvonne laughed and nodded as she remarked "Yeah and Sara is probably hovering over her Sammy's shoulder right now ready to deflect snowballs."

The others smiled and nodded as the sounds of laughter from thirty family members rang in the clear, crisp morning air as the snowball war got underway.

* * *

 _ **General Braddock's Home – Family Room – Friday, December 25th – 4:00 pm**_

William wandered into the family room and smiled. He was feeling happier than he had felt in a very long time. He surveyed the room and all the napping bodies, young and old.

Scott was cuddled up with his twins on the floor. Derek, Vicky's husband was on the floor too and being used as a pillow by his three kids Tony, Caleb and Courtney. Ashley and he husband Jon were on the couch with eight-year old Diana laying across their laps. Riley was asleep with Pamela's head on his shoulder. Anthony and Tiffany were cuddled together in a chair meant for one.

Zach and Adam were crashed near the fireplace along with Jeff. Those two would not be too happy when they awoke to find Jeff's sock clad feet in their faces. He could almost hear the teasing that would start when those three woke up.

Of his nieces and nephews only Amelia and Kyle were still awake. They were playing video games in the library with Natalie, David, Leslie, Carol, John and Wendy. Apparently, they had all had more sleep last night than the rest of the lot. The rest had been out and about at all hours last night getting this all set up.

Yvonne and the rest of the ladies were upstairs in Yvonne's sitting room having tea after they had gotten the turkey and roasts in the ovens. His brothers were lounging in his study right now. He had only come into the kitchen and family room area to get a refill on coffee. He was not expecting everyone to be crashed out.

The snow battle had worn everyone out.

William's eyes landed on Samuel. He had snagged the recliner and William noticed Samuel was covered with the new afghan Yvonne had knitted him for Christmas. It was yellow and blue. Samuel looked so peaceful sleeping in the recliner. William was so glad Samuel had come home.

He had a grand time with Samuel today. The snowball war went on for hours. Battles raged between ever changing teams. The snowball launchers were great and depending on ones' ability to pull back the tension line the snowballs could be launched anywhere from twenty to eighty feet.

Sam, Zach and he had teamed up for a good portion of the time and won a goodly share of the battles. William had noticed the bandage on Sam's hand, the bruising on his head and the way that Scott, Adam and Jeff kept a close watch on Sam too. He could sense they were trying not to hover but did not want Sam to overdo it either.

At lunch, he found out why when Kyle asked Sam to sing the Twelve Days of Christmas SRU Style song. That led into Sam relating some of the events in his days leading up to Christmas. William could tell Sam glossed over some of the parts that were not suitable for kids. But he got the sense that Sam had some rough days physically.

As they all ate lunch nearly everyone had bragging rights for one or more of the snowball battles. It was so nice of Samuel to think of everyone. The kids and the whole family had a grand time. Yvonne and his sister-in-laws created what they called the safe zone on the patio. They stocked the tables with cookies and two huge thermos', one filled with hot apple cider and another filled with hot chocolate. In between battles they all made a stop to the safe zone to fuel up on carbs and warm up with a hot drink.

William could not remember a better Christmas morning, ever. This topped every year he had ever had in his fifty-eight years on this earth. The only way this could have been better was if his beautiful Sara was alive and here to join in the festivities.

That brought back memories of lunch again. This was the first year that Sara was mentioned at Christmas since Samuel's ninth Christmas. That year was so very painful.

He had raged at the airport personnel and nearly got himself arrested demanding they search yet again for the bag. They finally located it and it was on a flight bound for Jamaica. He left them with instruction that when it arrived in Jamaica it was to be sent to Ottawa. He had Mark get the bag from the airport and then send it on the next flight to the desert base.

Watching Samuel open the presents days later was heartbreaking. There was no light in his eyes as he opened his gifts. When he found the gifts stacked neatly in Samuel's closet two weeks later, still in their original packaging, his heart broke again. William could not bring himself to break Yvonne's heart any more than it already was, so he never told her that Samuel never played with his gifts.

Eventually he removed them from Samuel's closet because he thought they were a continuing reminder for Samuel of that horrible Christmas. For the next few weeks he had covertly added a new toy here and there to Samuel's toy chest. Not the ones he had gotten for Christmas, but new ones that were not the same and would not bring back sad memories for Samuel. He ended up donating the original Christmas presents to the base toy drive the next year.

After that year, the presents were a primary concern for him and Yvonne. William was never going to have a repeat of that day ever again. He even went so far as to buy an extra seat on the plane so Yvonne could carry on the presents. She would pack a special bag and then strap it into the seat next to her and Natalie.

Sam stirred feeling as if someone's eyes were on him. He opened them to find his dad looking at him. Sam smiled and then yawned.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you" William said.

Sam put the recliner legs down and sat up as he asked "What time is it?"

William checked his watch, the new one Samuel had gotten him and smiled "A little after sixteen hundred."

Adam shifted and woke and was assaulted by a foul smell. His eyes landed on Jeff's feet in his face "Argh, Jeff could kill a buzzard at a thousand yards with those." He pushed Jeff's feet away and sat up.

Sam and William just chuckled as Adam stood up.

Scott woke at Adam's not so quiet exclamation. He glanced down at his still sleeping twins. This Christmas was certainly one to remember.

Jeff woke when his feet were unceremoniously pushed to the side. He moved so he was leaning on his forearms and looked to Adam, "My feet don't stink."

Zach groaned as he rolled away from something offensive smelling as he said "What died in here?"

Jeff hooked his feet over Zach's shoulders and rubbed his feet in Zach's face. Zach pushed them away exclaiming "Gross Jeff, just gross. Don't you ever shower?"

Sam chuckled and said "Why do you think I named him Mudbucket? He loves the mud and muck."

Jeff turned and said "Watch it Runt."

Standing Sam winced a bit as his muscles protested. He had overdone a bit and his body was letting him know. But he responded "Technically, I'm not the Runt anymore. That would be Kyle, he's low man on the totem pole now."

William saw Samuel's wince and moved forward as he asked "Are you alright son?"

Sam started to respond when Scott said "It better be the truth that comes out of your mouth."

Glancing at Scott then turning to his dad he answered "Yeah I'm okay. Just a little stiff and sore."

Scott looked at Adam and Adam headed into the other room and returned quickly and handed something to Sam "Here. No arguments."

"If he argues, Jeff could always knock him unconscious with one whiff of his feet" Zach quipped.

Sam smiled and shook his head "I think I'd rather just take the pills."

William handed Samuel his coffee and said "Wash them down with this."

Popping the pills in and then taking a big drink of coffee Sam swallowed. He looked around at everyone that was still asleep. He had a lot of fun, he could see everyone did.

Zach came over and said "That surprise was well worth the wait cuz. We need to make this a tradition from now on. Paintball in the summer and snowballs in the winter."

Sam grinned that sounded good to him.

There was a knock on the front door and William excused himself to go answer it.

Scott gently picked up Jerrell and Anna and then transferred the still sleeping ones to the portable crib in the corner of the room. Then the guys all headed for the kitchen to grab hot coffee and a few cookies to tide them over until dinner which wasn't planned until about eight tonight.

* * *

 _ **General Braddock's Home – Front Entrance – Friday, December 25th – 4:15 pm**_

William opened the door and said "Merry Christmas."

He stopped when he saw a severe looking man in a fur-clad jacket holding a legal sized envelope. He asked "May I help you?"

Percival sniffed in the cold and said "My name is Percival Belsnickel of Belsnickel, Befana and Nicholas. I am looking for a Samuel William Braddock. Might he be here?"

He hoped he was here, his mood was a little crotchety by now. It was the third place he had been. First was to Samuel Braddock's apartment in Toronto. Then a visit to his place of work in Toronto. At the SRU headquarters he found out from the dispatcher that Samuel Braddock had traveled to his parent's home for Christmas. So, he flew up to Ottawa and managed to locate the home.

Percival wanted to be done with this task and be able to return home to his family. The three of them, he, Befana and Nicholas, had drawn straws to see whose Christmas would be interrupted to deliver this today. He had lost. But their client had left specific instructions and had paid them rather well to deliver this package.

William stated "Yes he is. Do come in out of the cold while I go get my son."

Stepping into the warm home Percival nodded and pushed his fur-clad hood off his head.

Closing the door William wondered what this man could want with his son. He decided that taking him to his study where Samuel would be supported by him and his uncles would be best. William stated "If you will please follow me."

Percival followed and he heard sounds of laughter filling this home. It was warm and inviting and reminded him how much he wanted to get back home.

At his study door William said "Please wait in here. I will be back in a moment with Samuel."

* * *

 _ **General Braddock's Home – Kitchen – Friday, December 25th – 4:20 pm**_

As he strode into the kitchen, after delivering Mr. Belsnickel to his study, William saw Samuel and the guys seated at the island. He went directly to Samuel and said "Son, there is a Mr. Belsnickel here to see you."

Sam put his coffee down and remarked "I don't know the name. Did he say why?"

William shook his head and said "No. He didn't look to happy though. He was carrying a legal sized envelope with him. I put him in the study."

Sam stood and said "I better go see what he wants."

As Sam and William headed out of the kitchen, Scott stood up. He looked at his cousins and said "We should follow."

Adam responded "I hope to god it is not something bad."

Jeff suggested "He was high with the Lieutenant Governor. Perhaps some nitwit thinks he should face charges for that."

Scott shook his head "I doubt that. Lieutenant Governor Blunt is pro medicinal use of marijuana and legalizing small quantities."

"Maybe someone else isn't. But that occurred on the job. That was not Sam's fault" Adam stated as they all began to follow.

As they started out of the kitchen, Kyle was heading in and asked "Where you all going?"

Zach turned Kyle around and said "Come with us."

Kyle went wondering what was up.

* * *

 _ **General Braddock's Home – Study – Friday, December 25th – 4:20 pm**_

They all entered the study just as a severe looking man clad in a fur jacket stated "I am Percival Belsnickel of Belsnickel, Befana and Nicholas. Are you Samuel William Braddock?"

Sam answered "Yes Sir, I am."

"Can I see some identification that proves that?" Percival asked seeing all the men that had a very strong familial resemblance and one that could be a twin of this one just entered. It wouldn't do for him to hand off the package to the wrong person.

"Yes Sir" Sam answered as he withdrew his wallet and opened it. He showed the man his id and then asked "What is this about Mr. Belsnickel?"

Percival noted that the id was one Samuel William Braddock. He stood tall and held out the legal sized envelope and stated "I am here to deliver this to you."

"What is in it?" Sam asked taking the envelope.

"I do not know. I did not work with the client that requested the delivery. That was Ms. Befana and she was not at liberty to share the contents of the envelope or the client's name. Now if you will sign this for me, I can take my leave and return to Toronto and to my family" Percival stated in an officious voice.

Sam signed the book that the man held out to him. Then the man turned and bid them all a Merry Christmas and Kyle escorted him to the door.

Standing in the center of the room surrounded by his father, uncles and cousins, Sam stared at the envelope in his hands. There was nothing on outside that indicated who it was from. What could this be?

Sam looked at his dad and said "I'm a bit worried about opening this. This is strange."

William guided Sam to his desk chair and gently pushed him down "We can leave you to open it alone if you wish."

Shaking his head Sam said "No. That's not necessary."

He placed the letter on the desk and his dad handed him a letter opener. Sam stared at the envelope for a long time then reached out and slit it open.

.

* * *

 _ **AN: Had a few PMs asking for me to clarify who is who in the extended Braddock family.**_ _You can always find this in Chapter 3 of Beauty of Life Reference (I update it as new characters are defined and stories added to the timeline in Chapter 1)._

 _But for quick reference by family grouping, I've added them all here with their names and ages. Note that the female cousins born Braddock are listed first, followed by their husbands and kids if they have any._

 _William (58) and Yvonne (55)  
\- Sam (29)  
\- Natalie (23)_

 _Mark (57) and Kimberly (57)  
\- Tiffany (38), Anthony Jones (41), David (15), Leslie (13)  
\- Pamela (38), Riley Banner (39), Carol (15), John (13), Wendy (10)  
\- Ashley (36), Jon Taylor (37), Diana (8)  
\- Jeff (34)_

 _Erik (55) and Ann (55)  
\- Scott (37), Laura (29), Jerrell (not yet 1), Anna (not yet 1)  
\- Vicky (35), Derek McKnight (35), Caleb (4), Courtney (4), Tony (2)  
\- Amelia (24), Christopher Pendgraft (31)  
\- Kyle (22)_

 _Ryan (53) and Connie (53)  
\- Adam (37)  
\- Zach (24)_

 _Fun with Names:  
_ _ **\- Belsnickel**_ _: is a crotchety, fur-clad Christmas gift-bringer figure in the folklore of the Palatinate region of southwestern Germany along the Rhine, the Saarland, and the Odenwald area of Baden-Württemberg.  
_ _ **\- Befana:**_ _In Italian folklore, Befana is an old woman who delivers gifts to children throughout Italy on Epiphany Eve in a similar way to St Nicholas or Santa Claus.  
\- __**Nicholas**_ _: Saint Nicholas, Saint Nick, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, or simply Santa, is a legendary figure of Western Christian culture who is said to bring gifts to the homes of good children._


	7. The Letter

**The Letter**

* * *

 _ **General Braddock's Home – Study – Friday, December 25th – 4:30 pm**_

Sam reached into the envelope and pulled out a letter sized envelope and a flat box that rattled a bit when he shook it and sounded also like there was something else in it, maybe paper. The box and the letter envelope, like the legal sized one, was devoid of any markings. It was confusing.

He looked up at his dad.

William was just as confused but put a hand on Samuel's shoulder and said "Why don't you open the letter first. It might give you a clue to what is in that box."

Sam set the box down and peeked in the larger envelope to see if there was anything else in it. There wasn't.

The letter envelope was sealed so Sam used the letter opener again to slit it open. He withdrew the single folded sheet of paper.

Sam unfolded the paper and was shocked to see familiar writing. A lump formed in his throat as he stared at the script. He did not see words only letters, familiar letters in a hand of his brother. His eyes clouded with tears. He blinked and they rolled down his face unchecked.

Everyone stared at Sam. His reaction was shocking. No one dared move or say a word as Sam stared at the sheet of paper and tears rolled down his face.

Sam wiped at his eyes. He found a tissue held out for him and he looked up into his father's eyes. As he took the tissue, Sam choked out "It's a letter from Matt."

There was a collective gasp but beyond that no one spoke.

William rubbed the back of Samuel's neck lightly and asked "Would you like some privacy to read it son?"

Sam looked at his dad and then at his uncles and cousins. He shook his head.

William took a seat near for support but allowing Samuel space to read the letter by himself and then determine if he cared to share any of the contents.

Sam wiped his eyes with the tissue and looked at the letter again.

He could see words now.

Sam read Matt's words

 _Dear Sammy,_

 _I know this must be quite a shock to you. Wipe your eyes and blow your nose. I can wait. …. You do it? No. I didn't think you did. Do it now …_

Sam did as Matt instructed.

 _So, I'm dead. I didn't make it home. I have no idea when I died. But at least one Christmas has passed since I died._

 _You are alive, or else you have some weird superpower you never revealed to me and you can be dead and reading this too. I'm gonna assume you don't … not that you don't have some awesome superpowers … I mean the shit you lived through … you couldn't have done that without some superpowers._

 _I digress, anyways, you are alive. And can I tell you that I am so thankful you are. You gave my life purpose. I count my blessings every day that I met you brother. You gave me family. I hope I did the same for you._

 _Wipe your eyes again. Don't want your tears messing up my words. Do it._

Sam wiped his eyes again and smiled softly.

 _Made you smile, didn't I? Yeah, I did. No denying it. I see you smiling. Just a little one because you don't really want too, but I could always get you to smile when you didn't want too._

 _Now I want you to keep smiling. It is not often that someone gets a letter from beyond the grave …. woo woo … bit creepy huh._

 _I've planned this for a very long time. If I made it back, you would never have gotten this letter. We would have had a whole different kind of fun when we finished that second tour. Yeah, I've written this letter twice now. The first one had everything but the next paragraph in it. I first wrote this on our second Christmas when you were in Kandahar and I was in Ottawa. I wrote it before I got the call from Blaze that you were in the hospital. I wrote it again the first Christmas after we reupped for Special Forces._

 _Anyways, this is what is different in this version. I have to tell you this, not to make you sad or anything but because I love you so much I was willing to go to the same lengths you were for me. After our second tour was up I was not going to reup. You did for me what no other man on this earth would do for me. It put your life at such risk. I was no longer willing to allow you to risk your life because I had dreamed of being in Special Forces. I lived my dream. It was time to make sure you lived yours._

 _Okay take a breath. I mean it. BREATHE._

Sam sucked in a breath. He hadn't realized he was holding his breath until Matt wrote that.

 _That's better. Now keep breathing, you know in and out, slowly … sniper breathing if you must. No hyperventilating. Don't want you to keel over and hit your head. You've had enough concussions. Seriously, WAY too many concussions._

 _Made you laugh again._

Sam had chuckled.

 _Okay, so I'm dead and you are alive. Facts. How I died I'm not sure, but I know you have grieved. I know you have had dark thoughts. But since you are reading this, you are still here, which means you must have found a way to cope._

 _You always had such good coping skills … damn glad you did … cause if you ended up on this side by your own hand I'd have to kick your ass for being so stupid._

 _I have no idea if you are still in the military or not. Part of me hopes not. You always wanted to be a cop. You were a damned good one regardless of the crap those idiots in the 51_ _st_ _gave you. You could always join another police force or hell even that SRU thing you talked about._

 _I hope that you have found the beauty of life Sammy. If not, keep looking. It is real. Someday you will find it if you haven't already. You deserve to be happy brother._

 _Okay, getting sappy I know. But the beauty of life is real. When you eventually join me over here I'll get to tell you 'I told you so'. Oh, and we will find us some wheelchairs to race in. I'm sure heaven could scrounge us up a couple of those. If not we'll just race … I bet you I could beat you because I'll have much more practice with the wings._

 _So, I bet you are wondering what this is all about. And the box that rattles a bit. Nope it is not a rattlesnake tail. Open the box now._

 _Just do it. Don't read on and pretend to open the box. OPEN THE BOX._

Sam set the letter down and undid the tape that held the box closed. He lifted the lid and saw a small folded piece of official looking paper and three keys. Two were identical and one was much smaller.

He turned back to the letter still confused.

 _Thanks for opening it. Ha. I've got you confused, don't I? Admit it. Come on buddy. Nod._

Sam nodded and found himself smiling again.

 _Was that so hard? No, it wasn't. I know I'm a pain in the ass sometimes but it made you smile._

 _Anyway, you saw the two keys that look alike, yes they are the same. The little one is to something else. I bet you didn't even take the paper out. I'll save you the trouble and tell you what it is._

 _Sammy, I'm leaving you something special. It took me a while to locate it. I finally found it when I came home for the second Christmas. I bought it then, just for you._

 _No, it is not too expensive … I mean … yeah, it was a bit expensive … but what else was I gonna spend it on. And no, you cannot give it back … I'm dead remember. And no, you cannot donate it. I want you to use it and think of the happy times we had._

 _So, what is? I'm getting to it, hold your horses … you'd think a sniper would have more patience … but Sammy … ha … I'm teasing you now. Never knew someone that could wait as long and as quietly as you for the target. That is some skill you have their brother._

 _Remember when we went to your parent's place after we graduated Special Forces training. Yeah you do … stupid question huh._

 _You rented a truck and then we took your cousin Zach out four-wheeling with us. We had a grand time. I'd never seen you laugh so much._

 _We had some good times together Sinner. But that day … that day was one of my all-time favorites … the look in your eyes as the mud flew and we taught you cousin Zach to spinout. Yeah buddy … that was fun._

 _You're smiling again aren't you … you remember that day fondly too._

Sam was smiling and he glanced up at Zach and grinned. He went back to the letter.

 _So, I started to get this idea the first Christmas we were in the field. It was a miserable time for all of us. We spent it in the field, hot, tired and hungry. Blaze had us all share our favorite Christmas memory trying to bring some joy to the horrible day. You went last and I swear there wasn't a dry eye from laughter when you described the snowball war with your cousins._

 _I could see you were using one of your masks that night. Trying to make it seem like you had a normal kid Christmas. I knew because that was what I did too. I shared the only good Christmas memory I had. When my Mom and I took those pictures at the mall._

 _Oh … I know you have those pictures now. Keep the funny ones too yourself._

 _Anyhow, my idea only solidified after our discussion on what we would do with our life insurance policies if either one of us died. I like that we created the scholarships. But you know a corvette would have been fun too. But no … it's not a corvette._

 _I want you to have a Merry Christmas for once. I waited for this to be delivered on the second Christmas after I'm gone because I figured you'd be too sad to really enjoy your present on the first Christmas._

 _So, without further ado … those keys are to that truck we rented. I tracked it down. It is the exact truck we rented. I bought it and put it in your name. I set up a fund to keep it fully registered so that you can drive it without any hassle._

 _I know you would prefer me to be there, but God had other plans for me._

 _Merry Christmas Sammy … I hope you enjoy it._

Sam stared at the keys for a long time as tears filled his eyes again. Matt left him a truck. Matt gifted him a truck … no not a truck … the truck. Sam wiped his eyes and then looked at the keys again. Two were clearly the truck keys but he wondered what was the third key for. Sam glanced back at the letter.

 _Welcome back from la la land. Yeah brother, I gave you the truck for Christmas. I know it isn't something practical like a bottle of water or a power bar … well actually it is practical. And it is real … just like the beauty of life is real._

 _Bet you're wondering what the third key is for … come on, doesn't take a rocket scientist … use your brain Sammy … still haven't figured it out? Okay, I guess I pretty much blew you away with this … so I'll just tell you._

 _The third key is for the storage unit just outside the base in Ottawa where the truck is at. I chose there because they had the best long-term storage rates … you know me … practical._

 _It's in unit number 420._

Sam actually let a little chuckle out.

 _Yeah … I know … I got a chuckle out of that too. I won't relate that smoky story here … might incriminate you and I wouldn't want to do that Sinner … I'll just say that was a GOOD time and thank god she had cookies … that's all I'm sayin'._

 _Okay, back to business. Part of the instructions I left with the law offices of Belsnickel, Befana and Nicholas was to make sure the truck was in running order and fully gassed up for you._

 _Not sure where you will be when you get this letter … but it will be waiting there for you … wherever you might be._

 _Sammy, drive it and think of me and all the fun we had together over the years we got to be brothers … those times are all fragments of your beautiful life brother._

 _Live strong and long, smile and laugh often and don't forget to listen to the music, it will help you see the beauty in the world._

 _Love, Your Brother Forever, Matt_

Sam looked up and around at the men in the room. He swallowed the lump of emotion in his throat as his hand closed around the keys in the box. He picked up the folded official looking paper and saw that it was the title to the truck.

He looked at his dad and said "I need to go someplace."

William nodded "Okay. I can take you."

Sam shook his head and then looked at Zach and smiled "Zach you need to go with me."

Zach looked at Sam confused and asked "Why me?"

Sam did not answer Zach. Instead he folded the letter and put it back into both envelopes. Then Sam folded the title and put it in the box and put the lid back on and put it in the large envelope too.

When he was done, Sam looked to Scott as he stood up and asked "Would you drive me and Zach?"

Scott stood, he was just as confused as everyone else but he answered "Sure."

Then Sam looked at Adam, Jeff and Kyle and said "I'd like it if you all came too. It's important to me."

They nodded wondering just what was in that letter and what Sam held in his hands.

Sam turned his dad and said "We'll be back before dinner."

William, Mark, Erik and Ryan watched the six cousins leave the room.

Mark asked "What do you think is going on?" He then looked at the envelope on the desk.

William sighed "I don't know."

He picked up the envelope and then unlocked his desk drawer and slipped the envelope in and relocked it. He looked at his brothers and said "When Samuel wants to share he will. Until then whatever was in that letter is private."

They all nodded.

.

* * *

 _ **AN:**_ _To all my veggie and fruit launching readers (*grins*) … I did not leave you in suspense long. I just felt this letter was so poignant that required its very own chapter. I hope you agree. This is the concept for the entire story and everything else was built around it to support it ... even the 12 days of Christmas story. If you will recall the very first section of that story had Ed telling Sam it was about time he got a vehicle, Sam thinking he might, and all the rides home he was given by all his caring teammates. All precursors to this._


	8. The Truck and Music from Matt

_**AN:**_ _All the songs in this chapter can be found on youtube by searching for the title and artist given. I think this chapter will be more powerful if when you get to each song to look it up and listen to it before moving forward with the text._

 _Most of the songs have been used as soundtracks in Flashpoint at one time or another. Many of them I listen to when I need to elicit certain feelings and find the right emotional balance and words for my stories._

 _._

* * *

 **The Truck and Music from Matt**

* * *

 _ **Storage Unit Across from Base Entrance – Friday, December 25th – 5:30 pm**_

Sam told Scott where to go. Scott, Zach and him had ridden in Scott's SUV. Adam had driven Jeff and Kyle in another vehicle and followed Scott because all six could not fit into Scott's SUV.

He had not said another word as they had driven here. Instead Sam had thought about Matt. He was still in disbelief that Matt did this.

Sam didn't deserve it, he had killed Matt. Donating it would have been what he would have done if Matt's letter had not explicitly said he could not. He would honor Matt's wishes in that regard but he was not sure he could drive the truck. It would be too painful. His guilt had been unlocked and released from the special box he kept it in.

And now that Sam stood in front of unit 420 and he had to confront all his feelings. He had been shocked and then numbed by the letter. His cousins had not pushed him to talk. But now they were standing behind him a little way waiting for him to say or do something.

Sam fingered the keys he gripped in his hand. He was here and he was supposed to open the unit and accept this gift from Matt. But it was hard. Too hard, he couldn't do it.

Instead, Sam turned and faced his cousins. He singled out Zach. It had to be Zach.

His voice a bit strangled, Sam was finally able to make words come out, "Matt left me something. It's in this storage unit."

Sam held out the storage unit key to Zach and his hand shook a bit "Can you open it for me?"

Zach stepped forward and took the key. He nodded and then moved forward to the lock on the unit. Zach unlocked it. But then he turned back around.

He saw the tears welling in Sam's eyes. Zach took a deep breath and went to Sam and laid a hand on his shoulder "It's unlocked but you need to open it. Whatever is in there Matt left it to you. Matt wanted you to have it. So you need to open it."

Zach had a new appreciation for Sam's friendship with Matt. Being in Special Forces, being in life and death situations, relying on your unit buddies, that forged deep connections. He had learned many things from Mason. One thing was that Sam would be dead and gone a long time ago if it were not for Matt. And that Sam had saved the rest of them too. Sam's superman status had been fully restored in his eyes a long time ago.

His cousin had endured so much pain. Zach hoped whatever Matt had left him would bring Sam joy and not pain. But he knew Sam had to open the unit. That was something he could not hand off. Sam needed to face it.

Sam nodded and wiped the tears away. Zach was right, he could not pass this off to someone else. Sam had to do it no matter how painful it would be.

Zach went and stood next to Adam and his brother squeezed his shoulder and nodded at him indicating he thought he did the right thing.

Sam bent down and grabbed the handle of the rolling door. He pulled up and then pushed hard so the door rolled all the way to the top. Sam stood staring at the truck.

It was in pristine condition. The truck was a speedway blue dual cab with a hood scoop and a four-inch lift. There was a black off-road bumper and a roll bar with four lights. It had new large off-road all-terrain tires on it. It looked exactly the same as the last time Sam saw it. He and Matt had washed all the mud off before returning it to the rental agency.

Sam leaned his upper body on the hood with his cheek lying flat on the hood and his arms outstretched above his head. He was so overwhelmed, Sam started to weep. Sam's shoulders began to shake as the force of the emotional storm grew and overtook him.

Scott, Adam, Jeff, Zach and Kyle all were stunned speechless as they saw the truck. Their mouths actually dropped open. None of them were expecting a truck.

As Sam began to sink to his knees his cousins moved forward quickly and guided him to the ground safely. They surrounded him and held him while Sam broke down completely. Each of them kept turning to look at the truck briefly.

It hit Zach where he had seen a truck like that before. His voice was low and unsure as he said "I think that is the same type of truck … no. It couldn't be. But … it sure looks like …"

Adam asked softly "Like what Zach?"

Zach squatted down and lifted Sam's face gently so he was looking at him. He waited for Sam's eyes to make contact with his as he asked "Is that the same type of truck?"

Sam nodded and found his voice was off, it came out gravelly and a little squeaky "The truck. It's the truck. Matt bought it for me."

Kyle looked at the truck again. He had wished he had gone with Sam that day. He had been envious of Zach. His voice was incredulous "Matt bought you that truck, the one you took Zach out four-wheeling in?"

Zach grinned stupidly "Sam that is so awesome."

Adam, Scott and Jeff all turned to the truck again. Damn. No wonder Sam broke down.

Sam clenched his fists as pain washed through him and tears flowed unchecked "I killed him. I killed him. I fucking killed him."

Scott turned back to Sam and tried to console him "Sam it is not your fault. He was not supposed to be there. It is not..."

Sam cut him off "I FUCKING BLEW HIM AWAY. You don't understand. No one told you but I found Matt. I was the one doing ids. I saw what I did to Matt. There was nothing left. You know what a .50 cal does to a body. This is not like Sara. This is not imagined fault. It is my fault Matt is dead. I pulled the trigger and blew him away."

He pounded the ground with his fists as raw pain ripped through him.

Jeff and Adam restrained Sam's hands before he could hurt himself. He fought them but they held on tightly as Sam cried out "Why Matt? Why? Why? Why did it have to be me?"

Scott pulled Sam close to him and said "Let it out Sam, let it out."

Sam's arms tried to wrap around Scott. Adam and Jeff released their hold and Sam's arm went around Scott and hung on tightly as he cried out his pain. Scott held tightly to Sam.

They had all known Sam had shot Matt but none of them had known he was the one to find him. That was a whole other level of pain. They all knew what a .50 caliber round could do to a body, it wasn't pretty. Seeing something like that could drive a man insane. Especially with as close as Sam and Matt had been.

His cousins stood in a circle around Sam protecting him from view of anyone that might happen to pass by. But being Christmas it was highly unlikely anyone else was here. But they did it anyways.

After about fifteen minutes Sam quieted. He pulled back from Scott and Adam handed him a handkerchief. Sam wiped his eyes and blew his nose. Then he stood up.

Scott stood up with Sam.

Sam reached out a hand and touched the hood of the truck. His voice was rough as he said "Matt bought this for me six years ago. He got to come home for Christmas. Not that he had a home to go too. Matt and I always chose to live in the barracks on base instead of getting off base housing. Matt stayed with Blaze that year."

He ran his hand along the hood as he slowly walked to the driver's side and continued to talk "That Christmas, like every Christmas, I was in the field. I was with another unit. I got injured on the mission and they did not leave me like Murphy and Travis did. They came back for me at risk to their own lives. They didn't know me and they saved me."

Sam stopped at the driver's door and leaned his head on the glass as he stared at the steering wheel "Matt and Blaze came back to Kandahar early. They cut their leave short when they were informed I was in the hospital and unconscious. I woke with them at my side. Matt and Blaze were always there for me. Always."

He snorted "One of the many concussions I got. Matt's right about that. Way too many concussions. Someday that is gonna catch up to me."

Zach, Scott, Adam, Kyle and Jeff stood quietly as Sam talked. He seemed to need to say some things. They could see Sam was trying to process this. So they remained quiet.

Sam opened the door to the truck and ran his hand along the leather seat. He sighed and shared "When I decided to rent the truck, the agent behind the counter was a cute little blonde. I gave her a smile and low and behold she upgraded my rental to a four by four without any charge. Matt called me Sinner back then. I called him Saint. The guys we trained with in LFAATC in Aldershot actually gave us those names. We had a hell of a good time in Halifax."

Scott smiled. He would have to talk to Sam about the trouble he had caused him in Halifax. But later. For now, he would just listen.

Getting into the cab of the truck, Sam ran his hands over the steering wheel. He was trying to do what Matt asked. Trying desperately to remember the good times. To hold onto the beauty of life even though every fiber in him wanted to curl up and die right now.

He inserted the key but did not turn it on. Sam looked out of the windshield and saw his cousins. He took a deep breath and said "Matt shared something in his letter that makes this really hard to accept. He said he was not going to reup for Special Forces again. If he had, I would have too. But he basically said I had risked my life enough for his dream and it was time for me to live mine."

Sam's tone was flat, having spent his emotion "Little did Matt know he would die at my hand. I killed him. I killed my brother. And my brother gives me the truck that I had one of the most fun days of my life in. There has to be some evil person somewhere laughing their head off at the irony of it."

His eyes sought out Zach as he said "Matt said, that day I laughed more than he'd seen me laugh, ever. In the letter, he said it was one of his all-time favorite days teaching you how to spin-out and do doughnuts in the mud. Remember how caked on the mud was?"

Zach smiled "Yeah, I remember. It was one of my best days too. I got to spend it with you and Matt. Matt was a special guy Sam. How he died would not change how he felt about you. He would want you to be happy. And it may have been your bullet, but it was not your fault. You were given the all clear. No one knows why he was there. If it had been your fault you would be in Club Ed. But you're not."

He moved forward towards the driver's side and stood next to Sam. Then Zach said "Turn it on. Let's hear that engine."

Sam's head dropped as tears welled again. He couldn't seem to stop them. It was his bullet and it was his fault Matt was dead. Guilt weighed heavy in his heart and threatened to drown him. It hurt so much.

Scott approached and said softly "Sam. Matt would want you to smile and laugh. Zach is right. It is not your fault. I know you don't believe that right now. But it is the truth and one day you will accept that. Maybe not today or tomorrow but one day you will."

Sam lifted his head and looked at Scott as tears flowed again.

Adam's voice was a little rough with emotion as he came forward and said "Matt cared a great deal for you just like we do. He would not want you to carry the guilt you feel. Scott is right. One day, one day you will see that. Until then, you can drive this truck and remember how much he cared about you."

Shifting his gaze to Adam, Sam said "You don't get it. I killed my brother. I cared about him a great deal and I killed him. I should have known it was him. He should be here. This should be his truck. But I blew him away, nothing was left. He cared about me and I killed him."

Jeff let out a long slow breath and he was a little shaky. The emotion rolling off of Sam was powerful and he felt the impact of Sam's words when he looked at Sam's eyes. Jeff could see the guilt, pain and conflict in Sam's eyes. He wanted help but could not find the words.

Kyle stood by not knowing what to say or do. He could see Sam was hurting badly. He wished he could take that pain away. That something could take it away. It wasn't fair. Today had been such a fun day so far.

After Sam spoke those words, the silence hung around them like a heavy shroud. All of Sam's cousins felt the heavy burden of guilt Sam carried on his shoulders and in his heart. Their hearts ached for him.

Sam finally wiped at his eyes and reached out for the ignition. He took several deep breaths and then turned the key. The sweet engine roared to life.

But then Matt's voice came through the speakers and Sam turned stunned eyes to the console and saw that a CD was playing.

 _Matt voice rang clear and strong in the interior of the truck_ " _Hi Sammy, yeah it's me. I know the letter probably left you a little shell shocked. I'm glad you came even though you are probably feeling so many conflicting emotions."_

 _"Knowing you, you probably feel guilty that you could not save me. That is one reason I said you could not donate this truck. I want you to have it. I want you to drive it. I want your soul to heal."_

" _I know you are hurting Sammy. I'm here to tell you it was not your fault I died, no matter how I died. Because when it was my time, it was my time, no matter what you did or did not do. God wanted me home, he had a plan for me. I believe that with all my heart. But I know it will be harder for you to believe that Sammy. My faith was always stronger than yours."_

 _Matt cleared his throat and then said "I hope you are not alone listening to this. But even if no one is with you, you are not truly alone."_

 _"I hope the unit guys are with you. If so, hi guys. What I have to say to Sammy goes out to all of you too. Thank you all for being in my life and being my family, the brothers I always wanted."_

 _"Thank you for always being there for Sammy too, or Blondie if you insist. Man, you guys sucked at naming. I mean Blondie … come on … but oh well. You guys will know what is coming and what to do to help. I trust you all with Sammy's life."_

" _If you are with someone else Sammy. Maybe the beauty of your life, just let me say in my defense … I like music. All kinds of music. Not just hard rock like Sammy. Music soothes the soul. So just sit back, relax and let Sammy listen without interrupting. It is important and if Sammy is important to you, you will do this for him and for me."_

Scott, Jeff, Adam, Zach and Kyle all shared a look and then turned to Sam. They all saw the lost look on Sam's face but did as Matt requested and remained quiet.

 _Matt's voice softened as he said "Sammy your mind and your emotions are in overdrive right now. I know it and so do you. I know you are probably sitting in the driver's seat and it took you a very long time to even think of turning on the truck."_

 _"Right? Yeah, I know I'm right. And since I'm right I need you to do something for me. I need you to just listen to the playlist I created. Listen to the entire thing. It will help you deal with your emotions. Sadly, we've done this too often. Let me help you one more time brother."_

" _I know how much you looove soft rock and the melodies of Captain and Tennille but please listen to this song. I promise it is the only Captain and Tennille song I will torture you with. But a little information before it begins. This song was written by Bruce Johnston. I read somewhere that Johnston stated that, for him, the 'I' in the song is 'God' and that songs come from the spirit of creativity in all of us. So, this is not me saying I write the songs but that songs come from the spirit inside all of us._ "

I Write the Songs* by Captain and Tennille played on the stereo. Sam knew this song. It was one that Matt tortured him with for three hours on their drive to Petawawa.

Sam found himself softly singing along.

 _I've been alive forever  
And I wrote the very first song  
I put the words and the melodies together  
I am music  
And I write the songs_

 _I write the songs that make the whole world sing  
I write the songs of love and special things  
I write the songs that make the young girls cry  
I write the songs, I write the songs_

 _My home lies deep within you  
And I've got my own place in your soul  
Now, when I look out through your eyes_

 _I'm young again, even though I'm very old  
I write the songs that make the whole world sing  
I write the songs of love and special things  
I write the songs that make the young girls cry  
I write the songs, I write the songs_

 _Oh my music makes you dance  
And gives your spirit to take a chance  
And I wrote some rock n roll so you can move  
Music fills your heart  
Well, that's a real fine place to start  
Its from me it's for you  
Its from you, it's from me  
Its a worldwide symphony_

Scott smiled softly listening to Sam sing. Matt knew what he was doing. That man had been a blessing for Sam. He waited to see what was coming next.

 _Matt's voice came through the speakers again and said "You were singing weren't you Sammy. Yeah, I know. Good thing I didn't play muskrat love … you'd have shut it off for sure."_

 _"I know this is going to be difficult for you to process your emotions. I just want to help. I doubt we got a chance to say goodbye so here is a song just for that brother."_

Goodbye by Amy Jo Johnson began to play. And Sam teared up again as Matt said goodbye to him via this song. His shoulders shook and Sam covered his face with his hands.

Jeff wanted to reach out and hold Sam but Matt had asked them to not interrupt. God, it was hard not to console him.

 _When the song ended, Matt said "It is not really goodbye Sammy. It is more like see you later brother. I'll be waiting for you in heaven. You will be going to heaven. Your soul is one of light regardless of how many lives you have had to take. The light shines in you. You and I held each other together for so long. Thank you for all you did for me. For helping me live my dream."_

Matt's voice faded and the song Wait by Broken Fences filled the silence.

Sam wiped his eyes and took several breaths as he listened. He bit his lower lip trying to quell the pain in his heart. Matt had always seen his weakest face and never made him feel less of a man when he did. Matt was always there for him and picking him up when he was down.

 _It was silent for a time after the song finished. Matt's voice was choked with emotion as he said "Sammy, you may have fallen down. But I'm here to pick you up. I'm here, maybe not physically but spiritually I'm always here. You can always talk to me and I will hear your voice always. This next song is one that says so much of what I feel."_

The quiet calm lyrical sounds Psalms by Hey Rosetta filled the air and surrounded Sam. The intense and moving lyrics seeped deep into his lungs as he breathed slowly.

Sam remembered Matt talking about this band. It was one of his many favorites. They hailed from Newfoundland, Canada. He and Matt had actually met the band when they were in Halifax recording their album. That night was a good one. They had a great time.

 _Matt's voice was soft and calming as he said "Did you hear the songs in the air? Did you let the music into your heart and lungs? Remember that night Sammy? I love their music, some of it is hauntingly beautiful and you liked their rock songs too."_

 _There was a pause, a deep breath and then Matt added "Sammy, I played my part and God called me home. I know he had a plan for me. So, I set you free brother. Grieve for me no longer. I am in a better place filled with love. I need you to breathe, just breathe."_

Sam breathed but he was feeling so lost. If there was truly a God, why would he let him kill Matt? For what purpose? What kind of plan would be fulfilled by him killing his brother?

No, he was not free regardless of what Matt said. Sam would forever carry the guilt for killing Matt.

Lost and Found by Kim Taylor began to play. Sam could not believe how well Matt knew him and what he was feeling and what song would speak to him.

God, he missed Matt so much. He'd been so lost without him. So alone.

That is until Team One started to fill his void. But Sam still missed Matt so much. There were nights, occasionally, that Sam still felt all alone even though he had the team, the unit and his family. Those nights he talked to Matt and wished he could truly talk back.

The night that he spent alone gazing at the stars and naming them for everyone before his solo suicide mission this past summer, Sam had felt the most alone. He had truly thought he would never make it back alive. Actually, if not for his dad, Winds and Mason he wouldn't have.

Was the hand of God working for him then? Did he guide the others to find him? Sam did not know.

 _In a soft and comforting tone, Matt said "When you feel lost, look up to the sky brother. I'll be looking down. You can see me in the sun and stars. You can feel me in the rain and snow. You can hear me in the cool breeze that blows in your face. I will always be there."_

 _Matt's voice hitched a little, "You know I believe in angels. I used to tell you I sensed that my beloved mother was with me and protecting me. I believe that truly and deeply though I could never prove it. Perhaps God's plan is for me to be your guardian angel. But if not, I can tell you that you will never truly be alone. I will never leave your heart and you will never be alone."_

" _Okay, I need you to listen to the next song carefully" Matt stated._

Sam did as Matt asked when Let It Go by Daniel Cage played.

 _When it finished, Matt urged Sam with a tone of compassion "Try to let go of the pain. I know you hold it deep down in that special place. But I really want you to try to let it go."_

 _"I want you to dream. I want you to go after your dreams just like you helped me go after mine. I want you to have fun, to laugh and to smile. Maybe not right this second. I know that would be impossible at the moment. But you deserve the best of everything."_

Did he? Did he really deserve to the best of everything? Right now, Sam did not think so. He was in a dark place and struggling to listen to what Matt was telling him. But it was so hard. There were so many emotions spinning inside his head. It was making him a little nauseous.

His vision was fading a little to black too. Sam raked his hands through his hair as he tried to breathe through the emotion that was threatening to overwhelm him again. Tonight Sam knew was going to be a bitch. Trying to put all this emotion back into the safe vault he had built to hold it would be difficult.

As he breathed, the soft piano sounds of the beginning of Days to Recall by Justin Hines drew Sam's attention. He listened closely. This song was on his playlists when he needed to put strong emotion away. Matt had said it would help him get through the dark nights to the beautiful days that followed.

Sam found himself singing softly with the song as he methodically started tucking painful, hurtful thoughts into his box. Putting away the things that were too painful to truly deal with. Shoving his guilt into that box. It would not be gone. Never would it be gone. But he could tuck it out of sight with the other things he never let out.

Things that he could not let out. Things that were too personal and painful to ever share with anyone, not even Matt. Things he tried hard and unsuccessfully to obliterate from his mind. Memories of things he had seen, things he had done and the things that had been done to him. Painful, dark and evil things. His guilt over killing Matt would reside there in that dark place tightly locked away with the rest of what he could not deal with or face.

 _Matt blew out a breath and then said "You've been working hard. Everything is almost back in the box, isn't it?"_

 _"Yeah it is. Your coping skills are one of the amazing gifts God has bestowed on you Sammy. Your capacity to love is another."_

" _I want you to trust in the dream and to know you are never alone. Brother, I know you have had so many dark nights. I want you to put those nights away and forget them and make way for days to recall. Beautiful, wonderful days full the beauty of life. That is my wish for you. Live your life to the fullest."_

 _Matt's voice lightened and his smile could almost be felt in his words "Okay only one more sappy song but I really want you to listen to it. I meant it. Oh, and just replace 'love' with 'brother' so it isn't too weird for you. But I do love you brother so 'love' works too."_

That actually made Sam smile. Matt could always make him smile even when he didn't want too. Stand by You by Rachel Platten began to play.

The song hit Sam hard. So much of it spoke to him. Hidden scars, broken wings, tears in his eyes, his heart not knowing why it was still beating, braving through emotions, just all of it. It was what Matt put into practice for all those years. It is what the unit did for him for those hellacious years in JTF2.

Matt, Blaze, Mason, Patch, Winds and Ripsaw truly walked through hell with him. The guys even carried him when he couldn't walk, physically and emotionally too. Sam thought of Mason's arms. He had carried him to safety so many times.

Sam then looked at his cousins. They had walked through hell with him too. Without their help, he would not have recovered his lungs and been able to return to the SRU. He would have died without their help.

He was not alone then. Sam looked at Jeff as he recalled the stairs Jeff made him climb. Jeff crawled with him as he cried on his hands and knees making it up that staircase when he could not rise. That had been the turning point. Because of them he got to return to something that gave his life meaning.

Sam closed his eyes as images of the team filled his mind. Jules, Wordy, Spike, Ed, Greg and Lou never gave up on him either. When he was at his lowest, when he thought he lost everything including his eyesight, they did not let him fall.

The team had surrounded him with love. They stood by him. The team fought for him until he was strong enough to fight for himself again. They cared for him and looked out after him. All the rides they gave him in the past two weeks was the most recent expression of their care.

He was not alone. He had so many people in his life. He had them because of Matt. Matt had been the first one to reach behind his shields and accept him for who he was. But he was not the only one. The unit, the team and his family all accepted him and loved him for the man he was.

Sam drew in a steadying breath and opened his eyes as the song ended. He was not alone, he knew that. Matt's playlist had helped him get control again. He closed the vault on his hurt, his pain and his guilt. It could dwell there quietly until something else unlocked it.

He would try to honor Matt's wish, that he drive this truck and remember only the good times. This truck was for the days to recall. Sam would not taint it with his guilt. He would honor Matt's life by recalling the fun that this truck brought into their lives.

 _Matt's voice came on again and said "Better now. In control. Everything tucked neatly back into the locker."_

 _"Man, you and lockers. I swear that very first inspection in boot camp I was a friggin mess and you were military precision. I never thought someone like you would ever take the time needed to help me get my shit in order."_

 _With a hint of laughter Matt recalled "Remember how the Sergeant got a bit flustered, he didn't show it but it was there, when he dressed me down and I actually answered his question. When he asked me 'Hunter didn't your daddy teach you how to tie your laces and your momma to fold your clothes?'. And I responded 'No because my father was a drunken asshole and my beloved mother was dead'. Man, I thought you were going to keel over when I did that."_

 _His voice was incredulous as he recounted "God, then the Sergeant went after your jugular vein, he sure knew how to see our weak spots. I could see how pissed you were that the Sergeant called you out right then and there for being the General's son. It sure set the tone for how the others treated you. At the time, I thought that wasn't cool."_

 _Then Matt said "But now years later, I think maybe it was for the best really. Because it helped us both recognize that we both hid behind shields. Neither of us was truly what we showed to the world back then. But with each other we found we could be ourselves without fear of being thought less."_

 _Matt's words were deeply emotional and sincere "Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being my brother. Thank you for making me laugh and smile and for giving my life purpose. Sammy, you are one in a million and I was honored to be your friend, your confidant, the Saint to your Sinner and most importantly your brother."_

 _He cleared his throat and took a deep breath before Matt said "Okay, enough heavy and sappy stuff. It's time to rock brother. In the glovebox, you will find more CDs filled with your favorite music. Put in the top one first, it has our favorite driving song. Enjoy. See you in heaven sometime in the very distant future. Until then, use that WOW smile on the ladies and stay wild Sinner."_

Silence roared in Sam's ears. What a gift Matt had given him. He ran his hands along the steering wheel and blew out a breath.

Then he reached out and ejected the CD. It would be something he cherished more than the truck. He had Matt's voice. His real voice.

Sam then leaned over and opened the glovebox. He saw a stack of CDs in plastic cases. The top one had a note taped to it that said 'remember, this one first'. He pulled it out and swapped the discs. He put the CD with Matt's message to him in the glovebox and closed it.

He looked at Zach and asked "Want to take me for a drive?"

Zach looked at him confused, "Why do you want me to drive?"

Adam put his hand on his little brother's shoulder and explained, "Cause he can't drive. Remember the pain meds he took a while ago. Shouldn't be operating a vehicle."

"Oh" Zach said feeling a bit stupid.

Sam turned to Kyle and stated "We should have taken you that day too. I regret that we didn't. Wanna come now?"

Kyle beamed, "Yeah. That would be great."

Sam got out of the driver's seat and Zach got in. Kyle climbed into the back seat.

Looking at Scott, Adam and Jeff, Sam said "Room for one more."

Jeff looked at Scott and Adam. He really wanted to go.

They could read his expression.

Scott grinned and suggested "Jeff you go. Adam and I will follow in the other vehicles."

Throwing his arm around Sam's shoulders, Jeff grinned, "Yeah, I'd like that. I'd like that a lot."

He walked Sam to the passenger side of the truck. Sam got into the front and Jeff got into the back. Everyone put their seat belts on as Scott and Adam headed for their vehicles.

Zach waited for Sam to tell him to drive.

Sam reached out and pressed play on the stereo and Born to be Wild by Steppenwolf blared as Sam cranked up the music.

Then Sam looked at Zach and gave him a lopsided grin "Perhaps we can find an empty parking lot to do some doughnuts in?"

.

* * *

 _ **AN: For those that have read my other stories, you will understand why this chapter is a little tough on Sam.**_ _For those that are new to my stories let me explain a bit … Sam cannot be happy right away. He was a bit in shock while reading the letter, who wouldn't be. When Sam sees the truck the emotional storm comes. As readers know from my other stories later in the timeline, Sam still has years to carry his guilt of killing Matt. It is not until Sam is in Scotland, in A Year and a Day, does Sam truly begin to release himself from that guilt. So, it would be out of character for Sam to simply accept the truck without feeling pain and angst. I tried to show his emotional conflict with this chapter._

 _No I do not own stock in Kleenex but I just might soon. I hope you enjoyed this sad, gut wrench but ultimately heartwarming chapter._

 _*Songs and their lyrics are property and copyright of their appropriate owners._


	9. Released, Good Times, Dinner & Fireside

**Released, Good Times, Dinner & Fireside **

* * *

_**General Braddock's Home – Yvonne's Sitting Room – Friday, December 25th – 6:30 pm**_

He stood in the yellow and blue sitting room. His eyes fixated in one spot. The room was bathed in a kaleidoscope of colors but it was not from any colored lights. It was from the reflections and refraction of the tears welled but unreleased in William's eyes.

Sara.

His beautiful, sweet Sara.

Sara had been gone twenty years, six months, five days and three hours.

Yeah, he kept count. There was not a single day he did not think of little Sara. Beautiful Sara. The sweet light of his life, Sara.

But today was always the hardest. It was even harder than her birthday and the day of her death.

Sara had only graced this earth with her light for seven years, four months, ten days and eleven hours and two minutes.

Yeah, he knew the years, days, hours and minutes associated with his sweet, beautiful little girl. How could he not?

Numbers were something he was good at. Just like his son. Samuel had inherited his gift with numbers and languages. But the light that shone in Samuel was all Yvonne.

Sara had Yvonne's light too. Her kindness and a gentle strength. Truth be told though, William had seen some of himself in Sara too.

The day she had taken on three much older boys because they were taunting Samuel after he fell off the monkey bars and cried because he had cracked his head really hard. That was all him. That need to protect the ones he loved and cared about.

Samuel had gotten that from him too. In spades.

Natalie was completely different from Sara and Samuel. She had the light in her of Yvonne. But he and Yvonne had raised her differently after Sara died and Samuel's light dimmed, flickered and nearly died.

Neither could bear to lose a third child. Not that Samuel had died, but for so many years Samuel was lost to him and Yvonne. Nothing they had done could change Samuel's mind and let him see that he was so loved and that they did not blame him for Sara's death.

As a result, they tended to indulge Natalie more than they should. Natalie had a heart of gold, but she had grown up flighty and irresponsible, not grounded. She just didn't stop to think. Natalie had the ability to flash her beautiful smile and use her eyes to get what she wanted.

But that was his fault. He had indulged her when he should have put more restraints. But after what he had done to Samuel, William just could not bring himself to do that again. It was the wrong thing to do too and had its own set of consequences. Trouble tended to find Natalie, not that she was bad, just used to everything being taken care of while she happily bounced through life.

William knew he had been too hard on Samuel and too soft on Natalie.

He hoped that now that Samuel was back in their lives that Samuel might be a good influence on Natalie. Help ground her. She was still young and had time to find something that gave her life purpose.

But the blurry vision of the yellow bunny rabbit on the shelf tore at his heart. Sara.

Sara would be forever seven. Her golden ringlets would bounce as she ran to him with her bright smile and light filled emerald green eyes dancing. He would forever hear the tingle of her laughter. And her squeals of delight as she and Samuel raced like the wind on their bikes. He would forever see her rosy, winter-kissed cheeks as Sara made snow angels in the backyard.

She would be forever young. He would never see her grow into a woman.

William stared at the yellow rabbit and wondered what his little girl would have grown up to do? With her caring nature, perhaps something in the medical field. A nurse, a doctor, a vet. She so loved animals. He could see her as a veterinarian. Sara would have had a gentle touch.

A gentle hand rubbed his back and William turned his head knowing instantly who it was. Sara would have had Yvonne's caring, gentleness that was supported by a steel core. Sara had taken so much after Yvonne. They shared the same emerald green eyes.

Yvonne's eyes clouded with tears as she gazed at the yellow rabbit and gently rubbed William's back. They had both grieved their daughter. But Yvonne knew that William had never released his grief. That he still carried it with him along with the heavy mantle of guilt he wore due to both Sara's death and Samuel's estrangement for so many years.

Their family had been altered so significantly that summer day. Nothing was as it should have been. They had all been impacted. They all bore the emotional scars, Natalie included, even though she was only three at the time.

Natalie had been deprived of having her father and Samuel in her life like she should have. Many of Natalie's flighty behaviors, Yvonne could see were the result of trying to gain their attention. Natalie did not understand why her brother could not live at home. She had tried a few times to explain it over the years but Natalie had not understood.

By the time Natalie might have understood, Natalie had simply accepted that they lived apart and never asked. But Yvonne knew that Natalie loved her brother and father and missed them both dearly when they were at the desert base.

Nothing had been what it should have been because of that terrible summer day.

But that was the past. Samuel had come home to them. It was time to embrace a brighter future.

Her voice was soft "William, it is time to lay your burdens down. You have carried the unfounded guilt for far too long. It was not your fault Sara died, no more than it was Sammy's. Time to let the pain go and remember only the good."

She looked up at William and saw the tears welled in his eyes. Tears he had a hard time letting fall.

Yvonne reached up and gently touched the corner of William's eye with the tip of her thumb. She ran it slowly under his eye, "Let it go. Release your tears. Let you tears, pain and guilt fall. The mantle of guilt is worn and tattered and was never yours to wear. Shed it now so that you can see and feel the light and warmth that has come back into our home today."

William's tears fell. What started as a drip, drip, drip soon became a solid stream. William reached out and held onto Yvonne as the river of pain and guilt washed out of his heart and soul. His tears cleansed him.

Yvonne allowed her tears to flow too. Hers were tears of joy though. William was finally released from the prison of guilt he had built for himself. Samuel had come home.

She whispered to William as she stroked his hair as his head rested on her shoulder "Sara is smiling today. Do you hear her laughter?"

William's deluge ebbed and he finally pulled back enough to look into Yvonne's eyes, "Yes, Sara is smiling today. Her Sammy came home for Christmas."

He then thumbed away the tears that were glittering in Yvonne's eyes and kissed her gently. As he broke the kiss he said "God has blessed me with you Yvonne. Without your strength, I could never have made it after Sara died. You held me up and kept me strong when all I wanted to do was curl up and die. Thank you sweetheart. You are my heart, my soul, my light."

Yvonne kissed William and smiled. She whispered "Welcome home my love. I've missed you too. Time to let your wounds heal."

William nodded and then turned to look at the yellow bunny. He held Yvonne's hand as he said "There is not a day I don't think about Sara."

Yvonne nodded "I know. Same here. Sara was light and goodness. She was here only such a short time but her life profoundly affected many. Her life had purpose. She brought joy to all those she touched."

William smiled and then let out a little laugh.

"What are you thinking?" Yvonne asked.

"Oh, only that she didn't bring joy to everyone she touched. Remember those boys she defended her Sammy from. That one on the ground holding himself was definitely _not_ feeling joy at her touch."

Yvonne laughed.

That was music to William's ears.

Yvonne turned to Will and asked "Where did Sam and the other boys go?"

William sucked in a breath then turned to Yvonne and said "I don't know. Matt sent Samuel a letter. He asked Zach to go with him and then asked Scott to drive him someplace. Then he asked Adam, Jeff and Kyle to come too."

"Did you read the letter?" Yvonne asked.

He shook his head "If Samuel wants to share it he will. We need to give him his privacy. He is an adult and has a right to it."

Yvonne nodded and said "Sit with me here a while and let's share our memories of Sara with each other. It has been so long since we talked of her on Christmas."

Pulling Yvonne to her favorite chair William sat down and then pulled Yvonne onto his lap and said "You go first."

Yvonne's eyes went faraway and glazed over for a moment then she focused them on William's eyes and shared "One of my favorite memories is the summer that Sara was six. She and Sam spent their days riding their bikes. Natalie was only two but she wanted to go with them. But Natalie was too little to ride with them."

"I found Sara and Sam with Natalie in the garage one day. Sara was in the process of tying a rope that was attached to Natalie's stroller to her bike. Natalie was in the stroller and smiling happily. Sam looked to be trying to stop Sara. When I asked them what they were doing, Sara looked up at me with those wide innocent eyes and stated, taking Natalie bike riding."

Yvonne chuckled, "Oh my, my heart did flip flops at thinking what could have happened if I hadn't come upon her before she set out. Sara was so earnest when she said that she just wanted to make Nattie happy and make sure she had fun with her and Sammy."

"Sammy tried to take the blame for the idea thinking that Sara might get into trouble. But I could see it was all Sara's idea. I had to explain to Sara why tying the stroller to her bike with a rope might sound like a good idea but really wasn't."

Yvonne smiled as she thought of that day "After I finished explaining it to her, we all took a walk to the ice cream parlor. Sara had fun pushing Natalie in the stroller there and back. I let her and Sammy run a bit with the stroller. I can still hear the peals of laughter from the three of them. That was a good afternoon."

William smiled, "Sara had a golden heart. I think we should share that memory with Natalie. It makes me sad that Natalie did not get to go bike riding with Sara and Sammy. I remember the time that Samuel taught Sara to ride her bike without training wheels. The joy on Sara's face as she pedaled around the park."

He then confessed "You know that lecture I was supposed to give Samuel about using his words first? I didn't lecture him. I told him that I was very proud of what he did and how he handled himself with those bullies that knocked Sara off her bike and how he helped Sara overcome her fear of riding that afternoon."

Yvonne nodded "I know."

William looked at her stunned "How?"

"Because of the way Sammy looked at you that day. The pride I saw in his eyes. The happiness. He was always seeking your approval and he basked in it when he got it. I was happy you did not lecture him. I was proud of him too" Yvonne shared.

William pulled Yvonne into a hug "I'm the luckiest man on the earth because you agreed to marry me. Thank you for marrying me. Thank you for our three wonderful children. Merry Christmas my love."

He then kissed Yvonne long and slow showing the depth of his love he had for his one true love.

* * *

 _ **General Braddock's Home – Front Driveway – Friday, December 25th – 7:40 pm**_

Zach put the truck in park as the hard rock music with a beat blared. He had a grin a mile wide on his face. It matched the ones on Jeff's and Kyle's face. Sam's expression was soft smile but he was smiling.

Scott and Adam approached the truck with grins on their faces.

As the doors opened on the truck, Adam called out "That was loads of fun. Glad we found that empty parking lot."

Kyle unbuckled and leaned forward close to Zach who was driving again and said "Zach, I swear I'm never riding with you again. This is a truck not an airplane. It's not supposed to fly."

Jeff beamed and unbuckled his belt "Kyle, I could say the same for you except that this is not a boat either. You came very close to ending up in that pond."

Kyle blushed a bit. Yeah, that was not what he expected to do. But he hit an icy patch in the parking lot and they went skidding towards the pond. Only Sam's quick action from the passenger seat had kept them from sliding right into the pond.

Scott stood by Sam and asked "Where in hell did you learn to drive like that? Did you learn that at SRU?"

Sam's mind went back to some happy times with Matt. Then he turned to Scott and his smile turned into a lopsided grin as he answered "Matt actually. He was one hell of a driver. He got our asses out of some tight spots with his skill."

Adam grinned "We shouldn't have let you drive under the influence."

Jeff piped up "It was just in the parking lot. It was safe enough."

His mind then went back to a time when Sam had driven in a much worse condition. Christ, Sam was shitfaced drunk that night with Matt and the tank. Someday he would have to share that story with Sam.

But not tonight. Jeff had no clue what caused Sam to drink so heavily that day. If it was something bad he didn't want to bring Sam back down. Sam had been on an emotional roller-coaster already and it was good to see him smiling again. Jeff wanted that smile to remain in place.

Adam nodded "Yeah, I suppose so. He did do better than Kyle."

"Hey, I wasn't that bad" Kyle protested.

Scott grinned at his younger brother and said "Just be satisfied you can handle a boat better than they can. Remember the time Adam ran us all aground?"

Kyle laughed "Yeah I do. Sam that was a good time. I wish you could have been here for that. We'll have to go boating this summer too."

Jeff chuckled and said "Just don't take Sam canoeing unless you want to end up in the water. Right Quill?"

Sam chuckled as he got out of the truck. His cousins were fun to be around. He answered "That was my first time in a canoe and I was only six Mudbucket."

"No. No. No. How many times do I have to tell you? It's Rock, not Mudbucket" Jeff groused with a grin.

Sam looked at Kyle and Zach and asked "So what were your camping code names?"

Zach grinned and answered "Kyle's is Ivy."

Kyle groaned, "Don't remind me. Yours is not any better."

Zach laughed "Oh mine is much better. It doesn't sound like a girl's name."

Jeff snorted, "Sure it does Bee."

Zach turned to Jeff and stated "Hornet. I keep telling you it was a hornet, not a bee."

Adam laughed, "Yeah you keep saying that but we all agreed it was a bee so you are Bee not Hornet."

Sam grinned and teased "Hook, Fire, Rock and Quill are much more manly than Ivy and Bee."

He ducked the snowball Kyle lob at him and ran to the front door as Zach and Kyle chased him. They were all laughing. He had had a good time with his cousins and the truck.

Sam was glad he had asked them to come with him. They all helped him through something painful and then helped him to smile, laugh and have a grand time doing doughnuts in the empty parking lot. Good times that made good memories.

* * *

 _ **General Braddock's Home – Dining Room – Friday, December 25th – 8:00 pm**_

Sam and the rest of the guys entered the dining room after cleaning up and dressing for dinner. They had cut it close. Almost too close.

Incurring the wrath of the Braddock women who had worked all afternoon to put together the feast by being late would not have been a good thing. They could have been relegated to the kids table for that. But they had made it in time.

Sam smiled looking at everyone in the room. Everyone had dressed for dinner. It made it special.

All the young girls, Leslie, Carol, Wendy, Diana and Courtney, had special red or green Christmas dresses on. Little Anna was dressed in a cute red velveteen dress with white tights and soft black booties. Jerrell was just as cute as his twin sister. He was dressed in a little red suit.

David was looking smart, in his black suit and red shirt. At fifteen he surely made the girls at school swoon. John however was tugging on his tie like it was strangling him. Clearly John did not like dressing up in a suit and tie, more comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt. At thirteen he was a bit on the awkward side not having grown into his feet. Caleb and Tony were cute in their little suits. However, it was unlikely that those suits would stay clean with the way the four-year-old and two-year-old ate at lunch time.

Sam was glad that all the adult males were wearing normal suits and not their uniforms. He would have been the only one not wearing one since all his male cousins by marriage also served in the military. But this was family time so the uniforms were still in the closets. All the ladies were dressed in festive dresses of many colors.

He spied his mother and gave her a WOW smile and headed over to her. Sam embraced her and then kissed her cheek. "Merry Christmas Mom."

Yvonne smile beautifully. Sam was such a handsome man. He was wearing a navy-blue suit with a white shirt and the Christmas themed tie that Connie had given all the boys this year.

"Merry Christmas, Sam" Yvonne said and then took his hand and said "I've placed you right next to me."

She had wanted to ask where he had gone, but she would respect his privacy and if he chose to tell her she would listen. But if he chose to keep it private that would be okay too.

William smiled at his son and said "Merry Christmas Samuel. I see you made it back in time."

Sam nodded "Merry Christmas Sir … Dad."

William pulled Sam into a hug and whispered "I hope everything is okay. If you need anything, anything at all you can talk to me. I'm here for you, always."

He released him and his smile broadened as Samuel smiled and nodded at him. He could see the light in Samuel's eyes.

Everyone found their places. Sam was seated between his parents at one end of the table. He felt it was a special place. Normally, he would be on the side of the table next to Natalie. But they had placed him between them and that showed him how much they both wanted him here.

William picked up his wine glass and stood. He looked out at the entire family. It filled his heart with joy.

He raised his glass and said "A toast."

William turned to Samuel and his voice was clear "Samuel Braddock, we are told that you orchestrated all of this. Thank you. Family is important. You are important. I am proud of the man you are. Very proud. The joy you have brought to your mother and to me this day … well it is immeasurable. The Christmas spirit shines brightly in you. Welcome home Samuel."

Sam felt a hot blush appear on his face as everyone raised their glasses and all repeated "Welcome home Sam."

Yvonne leaned over and kissed Sam's cheek after toasting him.

William sat down and found his hand tousling Samuel's hair a moment as he watched Yvonne give Samuel a gentle kiss.

As everyone set about passing the bowls and platters of food and filling their plates conversations started. Sam watched as the older nieces and nephews and cousins helped the younger ones at the kid table.

Family. Christmas. Family Christmas. This is what it was supposed to be like.

He was pulled out of his musings when Natalie asked loudly "Where did you all go Sammy?"

Conversation stopped and everyone turned to him.

Sam smiled softly and said "To go get the Christmas present Matt got me."

Natalie was confused "Matt's been dead for a year and a half. How did he get you a gift?"

William put his hand on Samuel's shoulder when he saw the look of pain that crossed his face fleetingly. He looked to Natalie and said firmly "Natalie, it is impolite to ask."

Sam dropped his head and put his hands in his lap as pain of killing Matt lanced through him. He felt his mom take hold of one of his hands and squeeze lightly. Sam lifted and turned his head and saw the understanding in her eyes. He swallowed the lump him his throat.

Getting control and tucking the pain away, Sam turned to Natalie and shared "Matt bought it for me six years ago. Since I was in the field every Christmas we only ever exchanged something like a bottle of water or a bag of nuts or a power bar. The four years when I was with other units, when I came back there was always a little something on my bunk no matter where the base camp was, even if Matt was not there."

"Matt planned this years ago. He wanted me to have it on the second Christmas after he was gone so I could be in a frame of mind to find joy in having it."

Natalie nodded and forged ahead wanting to know as she asked "So what did he leave you?"

Feelings raced through Sam as he thought, the real gift from Matt was a piece of himself, his voice. A reminder of the man that had helped him so many times to cope. But Sam keep that to himself, that was private.

Sam answered Natalie "Matt bought me the truck we went four wheeling in with Zach. The one I rented when Mom and Dad had the party for me after Matt and I graduated Special Forces training."

Yvonne squeezed Sam's hand again and said "Oh my. That is special."

William squeezed Samuel's shoulder then stood raising his glass again "A toast to Matthew Hunter. A good man and a good friend who is missed by all that knew him. Any man would have been honored to have him for a son."

Sam stood and raised his glass "To Matt, my brother in all ways that count."

He clinked glasses with his dad and his mom and then downed half the contents of the wine glass.

Good thing it was only sparkling apple cider, looked like chardonnay but was the safer choice for him. Mixing alcohol and pain meds was never a good idea but for him it was an absolute recipe for disaster. His mom had filled his glass with sparkling apple cider, which he was grateful for.

Sitting back down Sam smiled as the festive atmosphere swirled around him again as conversations resumed. He dug into his plate of food.

* * *

 _ **General Braddock's Home – Library – Friday, December 25th – 11:30 pm**_

Sam sat on the sofa in the library staring at the fire and sipping hot chocolate with the afghan his mom made him over his legs. The house was quiet now. Natalie had gone to bed about a half hour ago.

He had enjoyed his quiet talk sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace with just Natalie before she went off to bed. He had talked and she had listened. She had talked and he had listened. He shared some memories of Sara with Nat. She told him one that Mom and Dad had shared with her before dinner tonight.

Sam hadn't remembered that one. Sara could be mischievous in a good way. Tying Nat's strolled to her bike would have been something Sara would do. It brought a smile to his face as he looked at the angel at the top of the Christmas tree.

His conversation with Natalie was the longest one they had had in years. It felt good reconnecting with Natalie too. She was so different from him though. She got away with so much. All she had to do was bat her eyes and pout.

Perhaps if he had been here when she was growing up things would be different. She was so flighty and irresponsible. He had asked her about her five-year plan. She had just waved her hand and said who needs a five-year plan. Sam had dropped it after that. He wanted the day to end on a good note.

Nat had hugged him and said she had the best Christmas ever and was glad he had come home and surprised their parents. She thanked him for the stuffed pony too. It was a silly gift to give a twenty-three-year-old woman, but Sam couldn't think of anything that would be more meaningful. He was glad Nat understood his intent.

Sam took a sip of his drink and thought about dinner. Once it got going it had been rowdy, festive and full of life. There was so much laughter that his cheeks and chest actually hurt from it. Everyone, young and old joined in.

After dinner, all the guys took care of all the clean up so the ladies could relax. It was only fair since the ladies had spent the afternoon making everything. With so many hands helping, they made short work of it. He, Zach and Kyle had entertained all the kids with video games while their parents, his uncles, Adam and Jeff helped them pack up all the gifts and load them into their respective vehicles.

When that was done, the family had all gathered in the library to sing Christmas carols and enjoy hot chocolate, more cookies and chocolates.

It was a Christmas to remember, that was for sure.

The joy in Mom's eyes was so good to see. Dad had hugged him and told him he did good. In fact, all his aunts, uncles and cousins did and said much the same thing as they all took their leave and headed home about an hour ago. Aunt Ann, Uncle Erik and Kyle were the last to leave about an hour ago just before he and Natalie sat down to talk.

A slight swish of fabric had Sam tearing his gaze from the mesmerizing fireplace and up at his mom.

She was wearing the new robe he had gotten her for Christmas. Likewise, he was wearing the warm flannel pajamas she had gotten him. This was probably the only time he would wear them. He normally slept au natural even in the dead of winter.

Yvonne sat down on the sofa next to Sam and smiled warmly.

They had not had a moment alone, just the two of them all day. She was glad the house was quiet and only she and Sam were in the library. William had to take a call from Afghanistan about twenty minutes ago. His life was never his own.

Sam shifted and set his hot chocolate down on the table. Then Sam looked at his mom and asked "I'm I forgiven for telling you I had to work today?"

Yvonne reached out and cupped his face as she smiled warmly and her emerald eyes danced with the lights that twinkled on the tree "Silly boy, you have to ask?"

Sam chuckled "I guess not."

Something compelled him to do something he had enjoyed as a boy. Sam shifted again and moved so he could lay his head in his mother's lap. He covered himself with his new blanket and then glanced up at his mom.

Yvonne's voice was soft "You knew exactly where I wanted you." Her hand began to gently brush through his hair.

She sighed and her eyes got distant as she said "I recall on your sixth Christmas, sitting right here and doing this as we talked about angels."

Sam closed his eyes enjoying the ministrations. He breathed in deeply and smelled the scent of his mother. She always smelled of vanilla and cinnamon, warm and inviting. It was mixed with the smell of hot chocolate and pine. The fragrance of Christmas.

He murmured "Hmmm … I recall that too."

Yvonne was careful not to press hard on the bruised side of Sam's head as she gazed down at him. He had grown into a man. That Christmas was twenty-three years ago. But right now, it felt like no time had passed.

Softly she said "I still believe in angels. You asked me if I thought your dad had a guardian angel. I still think he does. I also think you have one too. A special one."

Sam was feeling so relaxed and content at the moment and only answered "Hmm … angels … feels … good."

Yvonne continued to massage his head as she gazed into the fire. It was warm and cozy and relaxing. It was home.

Hearing the change in his breathing, Yvonne knew that she had just help put Sam to sleep. Her heart was filled with so much joy having Sam home for Christmas.

Yvonne smiled down at her boy and said "Sleep well my little prince."

She gazed a while longer at Sam as he slept. Yvonne thought, so much for talking. But this was so much better. They had days and phones for talking.

However, this was a rare and precious gift.

Yvonne's eyes eventually moved to the Christmas tree and singled out one ornament. It was the one she cherished the most. It was from Sara's last Christmas. It was simple but so special. Ann had helped the kids make it.

It was the top of a soup can, one opened with a can opener that left the sides smooth not jagged. In the center was a picture of eight-year-old Sam, six-year-old Sara and two-year-old Natalie sitting together in front of their tree. Sam had a Santa hat on, Sara was wearing reindeer antlers and Natalie had a pair of elf ears on. Around the edge was red and gold lace glued in place with green dots of puffy paint evenly spaced around it.

That ornament brought her to tears every year on Christmas day, except for this one.

It was the first ornament she put on the tree and the last one she would take off each year. On Christmas day, Yvonne would hold it and pray for Sammy to be returned to her. For the light to be returned to him. And for him to come home. And then she would cry.

But not this year. This year it only brought her joy to look upon it. Because this year, she had finally gotten her Christmas wish and her prayers had been answered.

Yvonne returned her gaze to Sam.

William walked into the cozy library with the fire slowly ebbing to embers. It had been the best Christmas in twenty years. Full of family, fun and love. He had created new memories today. Good memories.

He saw Samuel asleep in his mother's lap like he had done as a little boy. William choked up. His boy was home. Truly home.

William went to Yvonne and sat on the arm of the sofa as he put his arm around his wife and whispered "Samuel is truly home. Right where he belongs. Where he has always belonged whether he knew it or not."

.

* * *

 _ **AN:**_ _I had not intended to include a section on William's and Yvonne's grief and memories of Sara. But after the review from guest using the name_ _ **Dr nisar**_ _requesting to see that, I wrote about it. I hope it satisfies all my readers._


	10. Jim's Gift & Six Degrees of Separation?

**Jim's Gift & Six Degrees of Separation?**

* * *

 _ **Blaze's Home – Saturday, December 26th – 8:00 am**_

Blaze sat at the island sipping coffee as he watched Patch holding Brianna. It made him smile. Patch, no Jim, was happier than he had ever seen him. Being a medic in Special Forces had taken a toll on the man.

It was one thing to go onto a battlefield and care for unknown soldiers. Able to distance one's self from the pain and suffering of those in your care. But quite another thing to be the one everyone turned to when your brothers were screaming in pain and bleeding out.

Jim had been through hell. The investigation had revealed that their unit was always assigned the riskiest and most physically demanding missions in the years that Blondie was with them. Plouffe was a purely evil man with no redeeming qualities to subject Blondie and the rest of them to that.

While he was in the midst of it, Blaze had known things were different than previous times in the field. But he had blinders on and thought that the terrorist activity had just heightened and it was the General pulling the strings. In retrospect, it was clear, and with the missions his unit was on since that time, that Plouffe had handpicked the missions they were sent on.

Well most of them anyways. There were some that clearly needed the unique skills of his men. As pissed as he had been at the time, the General was right to send them on that mission to rescue Dom Savoy's girls. No one but Blondie could have pulled that off. Jim had his work cut out for him on that mission.

Blaze smiled again as he came back to his original thought, Jim was happy and that made him happy. Jim had a wonderful woman and a sweet little girl now. Boy had that been a whirlwind courtship. But when it was right it was right and he was glad that Jim seized the day and moved forward.

His eyes turned to Lizzy and her son Ryan. Speaking of being happy, he was too. Although his courtship was on a very different timeline than Jim's. He was not about to rush it. He wanted to make sure Lizzy truly knew what she wanted.

Lizzy was a sucker for a man in uniform. That is how she had met and married her first husband David Wilder. Lizzy had truly been in love with David and he was not sure she was ready to move on. Blaze was not so sure she could handle another relationship with a man who could be taken from her again. The death of David had shaken her to the core. So, he was taking it really slow.

But slow was good. He had a lot of transition in his life too. Daphy and Ben to name two wonderful additions.

He had many long conversations with Daphy. In one such conversation, she shared that Matt had been afraid that he would not approve of their relationship. Blaze put that notion to bed rather quickly. He fully approved of it. Blaze only wished Daphy and Matt could have been together longer and raised Ben together.

His eyes moved to Ben who was learning how to make paper airplanes from Ryan and a small pang of pain seized his heart. Ben had been short changed. He never got a chance to meet his father.

But he and Blondie and the rest of the guys were doing their best to bring Matt to life for Ben. They had a few pictures to share. Blondie had the most and had made copies of all he had and put them in an album just for Ben. But he wished Matt had had a chance to be in Ben's life and to know he even existed. That was the hardest part of the whole thing for him.

Winds sat down next to Blaze and saw the wistful look on his best friend's face. He asked "What you thinking about?"

Blaze pulled out of his own head and looked at Winds as he answered "Just how different things are this year. Jim's in seventh heaven with his daughter. I have Daphy back and we all have Ben. Life's good."

"Yeah, life's good. Speaking of good, when is Blondie supposed to be here?" Winds asked.

Jim wandered over carrying a sleeping Brianna and grinned "Yeah when's he supposed to be here?"

Blaze looked at his watch and answered "About an hour. Daphy told him to be here around nine."

"Good. I told Dr. Fraser I'd give him a bit of a look see today" Jim responded.

Mason leaned on the counter and asked "Why?"

Jim sighed "You know Sam."

They all nodded.

But then Jim expounded "Seems he's had a rough few weeks leading up to Christmas. I need to make sure he is still on the mend and following the docs orders. Dr. Fraser knew that Sam had eight days off when he saw him on the twenty-fourth. He prescribed him some pain meds and sent him on his way telling him to rest on his vacation."

Mason asked "How rough and why the pain meds?"

Jim grinned "Well let's see. First, he was frozen to a pear tree. Literally frozen to it as he held his sniper position on a hot call in the freezing rain. Jules had to climb up and take a tire iron to knock the ice off to free him."

"Christ. He didn't get sick from that? I mean his lungs and all?" Winds asked with concern.

Shaking his head, Jim answered "No. Sam's gotten wise. Helped him locate the cold weather gear used by Special Forces. He wears it under his uniform. But you didn't hear that from me. Sam doesn't like to advertise what he perceives as weakness."

Blaze nodded "Kid's getting a bit smarter. But it is not a weakness to protect himself."

Jim grimaced as he added "Next day he took a 9mm in the vest. It was at close range and he was damned lucky not to crack a rib. But it bruised badly. Idiot doesn't always do what he should and engaged in hand to hand training the next day. He got distracted and taken down hard. Sam had dinner with me and Heather that night. I gave him some stronger pain meds because during the call that day, he had to run after a subject. He was not taking the meds the doctor had given him."

Shifting Brianna in his arms, Jim continued "The next day, Sam, Ed, Wordy and Spike were four floors up and had to catch four men in a net. That strained his chest muscles more. But then the beams collapsed and he bore the full weight of Ed and Wordy as they fell. Sam pulled Ed up and stressed them even more."

"Sam called me that night asking what maximum dose of the pain meds was that he could take. I went over to check on him, he wouldn't have called unless he was in lots of pain. Told him to take a few days off and not to stress his muscles. But fool that he is, he wouldn't do that, didn't want Ed or Wordy to know that holding them up and hauling Ed up had hurt him. So, I told him to take it easy and no upper body work out."

Mason commented "Blondie didn't want them to feel guilt over it."

They all nodded. They knew how he thought.

Winds said "Wow, that is a rough few days."

Jim sighed and said "Doesn't end there. He should have been on light duty. But we all know how he feels about that too. The next day he had a hostage call and Spike tackled Sam when he thought Sam was going to be shot. Wasn't the best thing for his chest. But at least he went home and to bed early that night."

Blaze snorted "Wonder who got him to do that."

Jim grinned "Jules. She has a way with him. She's a good ally in getting Sam to take care of himself. He'll do for her what he won't do for others. She never makes a big deal of it.

Mason smiled "I like that sprite. Wish it had worked out for Blondie and her. But at least they are good friends now."

"Okay, where was I?" Jim said then continued "Yeah, so the next day Sam had to take a life. Not physically taxing but we all know the toll that takes on Sam emotionally."

Blaze looked at Jim and shared "I knew about that one. Blondie called me in the morning, it triggered a nightmare for him. Oh, and he was hurt that day too. He went for drinks at the Goose with the team and ran into some behemoth of a man that ended up falling on top of him."

Jim nodded "Dr. Fraser didn't know about the nightmare, but yeah I was gonna include that. It explains why Jules told Dr. Fraser the team let Sam sleep for the first few hours of shift the next day. Most of what I know is coming from Jules. She gave Dr. Fraser a full run down on Sam's condition when she talked to the doctor on the twenty-fourth."

"The twenty-fourth?" Winds asked.

Putting up a hand, Jim said "Wait, I'm not there yet. The next day Sam got a cold dunking in a frigid pool at their Christmas party when Jules' drunken date tried to push her in. The day after that, Sam helped at an accident and hurt his chest again when a pry bar hit him full force as he was trying to pry open a van door to get to some injured girls."

"Shortly after that, Sam and Wordy took heavy fire when they went to arrest the driver that caused the accident and ended up uncovering a gunrunning operation. Sam had to pull Wordy to safety when Wordy took one in the vest."

"They ended up getting soaked in bath in fresh milk too. Sam was kicked hard in the back and whacked his head on the ground when they had to surrender to the gang. Luckily, there were no signs of concussion but Sam got a good-sized goose egg and exposure to the cold in soaking wet clothes again."

Mason chuckled "That kind of shit only happens to Blondie. What happened next, from the look on your face, it wasn't good."

Jim shook his head "No it wasn't. Sam was told to take the next day off."

Winds asked "He ignored the doctor and went to work anyways?"

Sighing Jim said "No he followed orders. Took the day off. Trouble found him anyways."

"Sam went with Wordy and his daughters to see the Nutcracker and some nutcase wired bombs to the ballerina's tiaras. Sam ended up getting the shit beat out of him by the nutcase, who was a former boxer, as he held onto the deadman switch keeping the bombs from detonating."

"The team had to duct tape his hands to the detonator and leave him lying on the floor for nearly two hours while Spike defused all nine bombs. Sam took several hard hits to the kidneys. The nutcase knew where to hit and the doctor was sure his kidneys were bruised. His torso surely was."

"Dr. Fraser was straight up with Sam and told him no physical engagements. The doc finally put him on light duty for the remainder of his shifts before his vacation. Fraser gave Sam some pretty heavy pain meds to knock him out that night and heavier ones for the day that didn't."

Blaze shook his head "Damn. I bet Blondie didn't like that one bit."

Jim replied "Nope he didn't. But he followed doctor's orders. The team watched out for him and made sure he was in a light duty position when they went hunting ten leopards at the zoo the next day. Damn good thing the meds didn't interfere with Sam. He ended up saving Ed when a leopard was about to leap on Ed. The team tagged all ten with tranquilizers and saved zoo lights too."

Laughing Jim said "It was all over the news. But I actually found out about that one when I was called to SRU HQ to check out three officers exposed to cannabis on a call. Seems Sam was locked in room 420 protecting Lieutenant Governor Blunt from rioters. Sam was higher than a kite. It was so funny, like Sam on morphine but mellow. Spike and Jules were the other two officers. It was funny watching those two fight over cookies."

Mason grinned "I bet Blondie wasn't feeling a lick of pain."

Jim grinned "Yeah, none at all. Ed took Sam home to watch him that night. The next day was the only one where Sam got a bit of reprieve, except for being out in the cold weather for an extended period of time. Sam did good that day and helped the sons of a military pilot find a new home. All twelve of the boys were taken in by Blackwatch Military Academy for Boys so that they could all remain together."

"But the next day, the twenty-fourth, Sam had no choice but to climb up to a roof to be spotter for his team on a warrant call. It was as light duty as they could make for him given the warrant they had to serve. It would have been fine and dandy. But the damned roof collapsed under him. Sam had to hang on and then drop fifteen feet to the ground."

"Shit. How bad was he hurt?" Blaze asked.

Jim rubbed the back of his neck and answered "Worse than Dr. Fraser let on to Sam."

"What the hell does that mean?" Blaze barked rather loudly drawing the attention of Heather, Lizzy, Daphy, Ben and Ryan.

Heather rushed over and said "Shhh. You will wake Brianna."

Blaze looked contrite, "Sorry."

"Here, let me take her now Jim, while you tell the guys what shenanigans you have been up too. For the record, I'm not in agreement with what you did" Heather stated as she took Brianna from Jim and headed back to the family room area where Daphne and Lizzy were sitting.

Eyeing Jim, Blaze asked "Okay, spill it. What did you do?"

Jim looked at each of them and confessed "I was there, at the hospital, when Jules brought Sam in to get the minor cut on his hand looked at. Jules, Dr. Fraser and I sorta talked. I wanted Sam to have a good Christmas and vacation. I knew I would be here today and that Zach was flying him up on the twenty-fourth and Sam would spend yesterday at his parents' home. Not much opportunity for him to get into trouble and lots of cousins to be watching out for him."

Mason snorted "This is Blondie you are talking about."

Winds said "True, but go on Jim."

Jim sighed, "I didn't want Sam worrying about his condition and to just relax. When Sam held onto the roof, he cut his hand and he strained his chest muscles again. But I asked Dr. Fraser to tell him he was healing fine. Sam had this nasty looking bruise on the side of his head too. Another one."

"When I asked Jules about that, she said he had gotten it earlier. It was not a result of the roof collapsing. Apparently, Sam did not show up on time for work and she and Spike went to his place looking for him when he did not answer his phone. Jules found Sam asleep in his closet and his room was mess."

"Nightmare" Blaze stated.

Jim nodded and added "Yeah, a pretty bad one from what Jules described of his room."

Blaze nodded "I think I know which one it was. If I'm right, it one that stems from his second Christmas. When Blondie was with Chains' unit observing that village."

Winds asked "The one where Blondie was with Sergeant Marley's unit?"

"Yeah that one. When the unit went back, they found him in a closet. It looked to them as if he had tried to hide knowing he could not make it out. Chains said by the amount of blood in the trail they followed to the closet and the fact that Blondie's face was caked with blood, Chains thought Blondie was dead. It was a damned good thing that most of the insurgents had already been killed as they all initially fought their way out of the village" Blaze shared.

Then Blaze added "Chains was pissed off that their rookie had set his explosives wrong and they went off prematurely. He said it was shitshow of explosions, gunfire and screaming. When Chains made it back to their observation post and Blondie wasn't there he laid into his rookie. Then Chains took the unit back down to find Blondie, going against Plouffe's orders to bug out."

"Chains was not about to leave a man under his command and, sanctioned or not, he ordered his men to go back for Blondie. Chains took heat from Plouffe when he called for a med evac for Blondie. Threatened to charge him for not following orders. Nothing ever came of those threats though. Chains is also the one who called me to let me know Blondie was in the hospital."

Mason nodded and said "Marley is a good man. It's sad that most his unit got wiped out in that corn field. I remember Shy had a hard time with that one. He took command of Marley's unit when Marley and his second in command were both on leave to get married."

Winds nodded "Yeah, that mission was hard on Blondie too. How the hell the two of them survived that massacre … with only their k-bars for days."

Blaze's eyes closed as he recalled the nightmares he and Matt helped Blondie through after both missions. He sighed and opened his eyes and asked "So, you, Dr. Fraser and Jules colluded and didn't tell Blondie he had reinjured his muscles. Is that what you are saying?"

The truth was written in Jim's expression as he answered "Yeah, basically. Dr. Fraser was certain with the week off that Sam had coming that he would be set to rights by the time he headed back to work. He prescribed Sam heavy duty pain meds so he wouldn't feel the pain and told him to take them for the next four days and to get some rest. Then the doc told Sam that if he followed his instructions that by the time Sam was off vacation, he would sign off for him to go back to full active duty."

Blaze grinned "So you gave him a little Christmas present."

Jim shrugged "Sort of. I just didn't want Sam worrying about things. I wanted him to just enjoy his time off. I'll be checking him over today just to make sure he is following the doctor's orders."

Mason patted Jim's back and smiled "Good man Jim." Then he checked his watch and said "Blondie should be here soon."

Winds rubbed his hands together briskly as he grinned "I cannot wait to surprise him."

The others all nodded.

* * *

 _ **Sam's Truck Enroute to Blaze's Home – Saturday, December 26th – 9:00 am**_

Sam drove carefully in the fresh snow. He had his pain meds in his jacket pocket and would take them after he got to Blaze's home. He was achy from overdoing yesterday but it was so worth it and he would not have it any other way. But he should not take the meds and drive so he held off.

He had arranged with Daphy to come over about nine today. That would give him most the day to spend with Ben. Sam was really looking forward to that.

Even though he was sore, more sore than he thought he should be since Dr. Fraser said he was healing just fine. Sam had snagged several of the snowball launchers as he headed out this morning. He thought that Ben and he could have some fun with them. Sam brought six of them because Daphy might want to join them and perhaps there were some boys in the neighborhood that might like to join to make it more fun for Ben.

Especially since he was feeling more sore than he expected and doubted he would last as long as he would like. Ben had boundless energy and was likely to want to play for hours. If he could round up a few boys, he could supervise and plan the missions, then deploy the troops to execute them and therefore still have fun. Sam thought about that a moment and laughed, he could tell his dad he had become a General, General Snowball.

His mind shifted as he drove and listened to the second CD that Matt had created. It was full of his favorite songs with just a few weird ones thrown in to make him smile. But the absolute best part of this CD was that it was not just songs. Matt's voice was interspersed every few songs doing a running commentary on the songs like he would do some times. It made Sam happy to hear Matt's voice talking like normal. It made him feel like he did when he and Matt were in the regular Army and took day trips on their days off.

Matt had truly planned ahead and was helping him enjoy driving the truck. It almost felt like Matt was sitting beside him. Sam wondered what was on the other three CDs. He hoped it was more of Matt talking to him.

As he came to a stop at the red light the song concluded and Matt's voice rang clear in the cab.

" _So, Sammy, I was thinking, if you become a police officer, you know give up the family business of the military. The General will be pissed at you but who cares. This is your life Sammy. Anyway, if you do become a cop, I know you will be a good one."_

" _But don't fall into the trap so many police officers do. Don't get jaded. Remember that people are generally nice. It's just your job will expose you to the worst of the worst on a daily basis. I need you to remember why you wanted to be a cop. To serve and to protect. The vast majority of people are good. It only takes a few bad apples to wreak havoc."_

 _Matt laughed "Remember that time we were sent to CFB Suffield near Medicine Hat for our emergency medical and evacuation procedures fresher training. That was about a year before we joined Special Forces. We had a good time once you were feeling better."_

" _Do you remember that cute little brunette RCMP officer that pulled me over for going well over the speed limit because we were running late? Thanks to you I might add. If you hadn't eaten at that roadside stand we wouldn't have had to stop for you to puke so often. No, I guess you wouldn't remember her, you were green to the gills. We never did find out what gave you food poisoning but then again you ate so much crap at the stand. I swear you have a hollow leg sometimes. You know, I thought I might have to practice my emergency medical skills on you that day."_

" _Anyhow, so I'll tell you. She pulls me over. I stop because I'm a good citizen" Matt snorted._

" _When she approached, I pointed to you as you had your face buried in the plastic bag and puking yet again. I told her that I'm rushing you to the base hospital. You must've looked really bad, or it was just your natural charm with the ladies where they would do anything for you. But the RCMP officer gave you one look and didn't even ask to see my license. She gave us an escort all the way to the base at top speed."_

" _You know I wish had gotten her name and number. I could only see the first few letters of her name, Cal. Boy was she was cute though. Her brown eyes were compassionate and she had her hair in a ponytail. She looked like a keeper if you know what I mean. Hmmm, now that I think of it, she was more your type than mine. Petite, brunette and a nice smile."_

" _Anyway, this ties in to what I was thinking about you becoming a cop. You need to find the beauty of your life to help you deal with all the garbage you will see being a cop. Find someone that you can share your life with and help you see all the good in the world. Someone you can slow down with and draw strength from."_

" _I know she is out there. You just have to be patient and find her. Maybe you already have and if so, I told you so. In honor of that compassionate, petite, brown-eyed RCMP officer I've added the next song."_

Sam grinned as Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison played and he moved his foot from the brake to the gas pedal.

Then a weird thought entered his head. Petite, brunette with brown eyes and a ponytail. Sam knew Jules grew up in Medicine Hat. Could it have been her? Cal … Sam wondered where Jules was located when she was in the RCMP.

Nah, it couldn't be. That would be just too weird.

But then again weird shit happened to him all the time. He would have to ask Jules where she was located back then. It would be kinda cool if Matt had actually met Jules.

Ten minutes later, Sam pulled up outside Blaze's home. He sat as the last song finished. The Sam fished out his pills and took out two. He popped them in and then swallowed them taking a drink from his silver travel mug. It simply contained water today and not 'moms water'.

He smiled remembering waking up on the sofa this morning to the smell of coffee. Mom had put him to sleep last night. He was glad she had not woken him up to move to bed. Perhaps, that was why he was more sore today. The sofa was not the most comfortable place to sleep.

But breakfast had been nice. Omelets, left-over ham and coffee. He enjoyed having morning coffee with Dad, Mom and Natalie. He and his dad even used their alien mugs. It had been a good start to his day.

Sam looked up at the house and saw the curtain fall back. He put the travel mug back in the console and grabbed his bag of presents. Daphy was probably gonna kill him for the present he selected for Ben. Leah had helped him find it and he added his own touch.

As he closed the door to his truck, a thought struck him. Yeah, that might just be doable but he would have to listen to all the CDs first and make sure that content was suitable. He would have to work with Spike to make it happen.

Making a CD of Matt's voice would be a great birthday gift for Ben. Matt might not be here but now he had a way for Ben to actually hear his father's voice. It would be something that Ben could treasure and feel a bit more connected to the man that gave him life.

Walking to the door, Sam looked back at the truck. Damn, he should have waited to take his meds. Now he would not be able to take Ben for a ride in the truck.

* * *

 _ **Blaze's Home – Saturday, December 26th – 9:10 am**_

Daphy called out "Hide. Sam's here."

Ben squealed with glee.

Blaze squatted down and asked "You remember what you are supposed to do?"

Ben nodded and said "I can't jump on him because he has owies and I'm supposed to bring him into the tree and make him sit in that chair." Ben pointed to the one facing the tree then added "So that you and everyone can sneak up behind him and surprise him."

Tousling Ben's jet black hair, Blaze stood and said "You got it kiddo."

 _._

* * *

 _ **AN:** **Asking the readers** ... Should the RCMP Officer be Jules? Let me know. Sam will talk with Jules later and ask. So depending on what you tell me it will or will not be her. It won't count as a real Sam/Jules meeting because they had no interaction, Sam was busy puking and never looked at the officer. Perhaps he got sick off of corndogs for a little tie into AI-F._


	11. Surprise, Jules' Day, Gifts & Memories

**Surprise, Jules' Day, Gifts & Memories **

* * *

_**Blaze's Home – Saturday, December 26th – 9:10 am**_

Sam lifted his hand to knock, the door whipped opened and his hand hit air. He smiled when he saw Ben dancing around next to Daphy.

Daphne smiled, "Merry Christmas Sam. Come in."

Ben grabbed Sam's hand. He was surprised that Ben had not launched into him like normal. Sam found himself being dragged by the hand into Blaze's family room.

"Uncle Supersam you have to come see my tree" Ben happily squealed as he dragged his uncle to the tree.

He wanted to jump into his arms like normal. But Uncle Ducky said not too because he had owies.

Sam looked at Daphne as Ben dragged him inside and said "I guess I'm going to see the tree. Merry Christmas Daphy."

Daphne closed the door as she smiled.

Ben pointed to the chair and ordered "Sit down."

Sam chuckled "Bossy Ben." He sat and put the bag of gifts next to the chair.

Ben bounced around here and there as he waited for uncle Sam to sit down.

Sam looked up at Daphy as she entered the room and asked "How much sugar did you feed this kid? He's bouncing off the walls."

Grinning Daphne answered "He's just excited to see you. Sweet ride you have out there. I thought you'd be coming via cab. Does that belong to one of your cousins?"

Sam watched Ben bounce up and down as his smile got bigger and bigger. Ben's attention was on something behind him.

He was about to answer Daphne but he heard a sound behind him and Ben started giggling.

Sam stood and turned. His mouth dropped open. Sam was stunned.

"How … when?" Sam stammered out as Blaze, Mason, Jim and Winds stood there grinning like loons.

Blaze said "Surprise. Merry Christmas Blondie."

Sam's face erupted into a huge grin as he headed for Blaze and wrapped him in a hug. Then he looked at Mason, Winds and Jim. He was pulled into gentle hugs and greeted by the others.

Too gentle Sam thought. He stepped back, "Wow, this is just … wow. This is the best Christmas I've ever had."

Ben pulled on Sam's hand and asked "Can you hug me too or will it hurt your owies?"

Sam looked at Ben and then at the guys. Their restrained greetings made sense now. He bent and picked up Ben and hugged him tightly as he said "Your hugs could never hurt me. They are the best in the world."

Ben clung to uncle Sam and beamed as he said "But Uncle Jim said you had owies and Uncle Ducky said I couldn't jump on you."

Sam looked at Jim. Jim's face gave him away. Busted.

"So how did you know?" Sam asked.

Jim answered "I happened to be at the hospital when Jules brought you in to get your hand looked at. Overheard you fell fifteen feet when the roof collapsed."

"Uh huh. More like you cornered Jules and Dr. Fraser for details" Sam stated.

Heather sauntered up with Brianna who was awake now and content to look around. Heather said with a smile "See Jim, I knew Samtastic would figure it out."

Sam gave Heather a hug and took hold of Brianna's little hand as he said "Merry Christmas Heather. And what would I figure out?"

Heather was saved from having to answer when Ben squirmed in Sam's arms and said "I got my wish. I got all my uncles for Christmas."

Sam then noticed Lizzy and her son Ryan in the background and said "Merry Christmas Lizzy, Ryan."

Lizzy came forward, not really wanting to intrude as she said "Merry Christmas Sam."

Blaze said "Let's all sit down."

Sam carried Ben to the chair and sat down with him in his lap. He smiled and said "I brought you a present. You want to open it?"

Ben nodded eagerly and got down from his uncle's lap.

Sam pulled out the large box from the oversized bag.

Tearing into the paper, it wasn't long before Ben was squealing with delight as he yelled "I wanted drums. I wanted drums. Thank you Unca Supersam."

Sam looked up at Daphy and saw her look of 'oh god the noise' as he said "Leah helped me find them. They are electronic and they have a volume switch."

Daphne smiled and said "If that is the case then you get to live."

Turning to Ben, Sam shared "Your dad always wanted to learn to play the drums."

"Really?" Ben said as his eyes lit up even more.

"Really" Sam stated as Ryan came forward to help Ben open the box and set up the drums.

Then Sam reached into his pocket and handed Ben a green music player, "This is for you too. You can plug in the music player into the drums. The drum set has a headset that comes with it and you can rock out to music. I added a bunch of your dad's favorite songs to the music player."

He looked up at Daphy and added "All appropriate music for Ben's age."

Daphne hugged him and said "That is so thoughtful Sam. I never knew Matt wanted to play the drums. I might look into getting Ben some lessons if he is interested."

Sam grinned and then looked at Blaze, Mason, Winds and Jim and realized that even though he had taken his pain meds he could still take Ben for a ride in the truck.

He looked back at Daphy and thought she might like to take a ride too.

Sam took a breath and said "Daphy you asked about the truck."

She grinned, "Yeah."

"It's mine" Sam answered.

Mason asked "Did your parents get you a truck for Christmas?"

Sam shook his head and it was his turn to surprise the guys, "No Matt did."

Winds asked "Did I hear you right? Matt got you the truck?"

"Yeah you heard right. I got a letter from him yesterday. Matt planned it all out. For years, actually" Sam said. Then he told them all about what Matt did and when.

Blaze said with a smile "So that was what he was up too. Matt was making all kinds of calls when we first arrived here that Christmas. He wouldn't tell me what it was all about. I half thought it was regarding the scholarship you guys set up when he said he had to go talk to some lawyer named Befana."

Winds stood with a huge grin on his face, "Let's go take a look at this truck."

Sam stood and held out the keys, "Someone else needs to drive." Then he looked at Jim and said "I took my pain meds. I think we need to have a little talk."

Jim chuckled, "Yeah, I guess we do. But it can wait."

* * *

 _ **Jules' Home – Saturday, December 26th – 10:00 am**_

Jules was gazing at her tree. A soft smile was on her face. Yesterday had been a wonderful day with the Boss and Wordy's family. Truly a Christmas to remember.

The girls were so sweet. Jules looked at the ornament they had made for her. It now hung on her tree with the one from Spike from their ornament exchange and the one Clark had made for her.

Jules pulled the warm comforter up a bit enjoying a lazy morning. She had really slept last night. The nightmares had ceased.

She wondered how Sam's Christmas had gone. Part of her wanted to call yesterday. But she did not want to infringe on his family time. Sam had his family back.

A little voice in her head quietly said 'I wish I had mine'. But she squashed it. That was not happening. Her father and brothers had abandoned her. None of them had even bothered to check on her when she had been shot.

She knew the Boss called her father. The fact that they didn't bother to call back or check on her, told her where she stood with them. They did not want her and therefore she decided she did not need them.

Jules had a new family now. One of her choosing.

Men who would never turn their backs on her. Men that cared for her, sometimes too much for her. Men she could trust not to crush her heart. Men that made her laugh and smile. Men who appreciated her talents and supported her decisions and who accepted her for who she was.

With that thought, Jules looked at the clock and decided she needed to get up and get ready. She had promised Spike that they would hang out today. Jules was actually looking forward to it.

She was going to meet Spike and his sister Gina and her kids at the ice rink to go skating. Then tonight she and Spike were coming back here to watch a movie together and just hang out. She had invited the Boss to join them but he had plans to meet up with Christiana Andersen.

Jules then thought about Sam. Jim had shared that the unit guys were going to surprise him today when Sam went to visit Ben. Sam was bound to have a good time. He needed that.

Sam had had a heck of time the past two weeks. She had confided in Dr. Fraser and Jim just exactly how hard a time Sam had. Jules had wanted Dr. Fraser to be completely truthful with Sam about his condition.

But Jim had convinced Dr. Fraser that he would watch out for Sam and that Sam needed a mental reprieve from worrying about his health so he could just enjoy the time with his family. She had conceded that Jim knew Sam the best, having cared for him for six years and brought him through some devastating injuries. Besides, Jim would be checking on him today.

Jules realized her mind had wandered again and checked the clock again. She threw off her warm blanket and rose to get ready. Today boded to be a fun day.

* * *

 _ **Outside Blaze's Home – Saturday, December 26th – 10:00 am**_

Sam and the rest of them headed out to the truck. Ben raced to it and Sam could see tears in Daphy's eyes. No one had taken the keys from him yet, so he gripped them tightly.

Daphne got to the truck and her hand gently landed on the hood of it. Matt. He was one in a million. His sense of humor and the goodness in him drew her to him.

There was so much she missed about Matt. Although they only had a short time together he had so filled her life that she doubted another man would ever capture her heart again. That was okay with her. She had already decided to dedicate her life to raising Ben. Every day she saw more of Matt in Ben.

Ben's love of music was just one of the things. Another was that even at four, Ben had the knack to make people laugh. The daycare workers said that he was the champion of those weaker than him too. He seemed to single out the kids that were sad or being picked on and did things to make them happy and defend them.

Sam's gift of drums, although noisy, was just perfect. She had long ago decided to ensure that music, all types of music, was a part of Ben's life. And for Sam to make a playlist of Matt's favorite songs for Ben, well that was just freaking awesome.

As Sam approached the truck, Daphne turned to him and said "Thank you Sam for bringing a bit of Matt into Ben's life. Into my life too."

Daphne then wrapped Sam in a hug.

Sam hugged Daphy back and whispered "I miss him too. Would you like to drive?"

She wiped her eyes and laughed, "No I better not. If Ben has any driving ability it will be from Matt. I'm better off as a passenger."

Sam grinned and nodded as he turned to Blaze, "That leaves you then." He held up the keys.

Blaze stepped forward and closed the keys in Blondie's hand, "We can wait until later when you can drive."

Mason was looking at the truck and commented "Blondie it is an awesome gift. You say you rented this to go four wheeling?"

Sam nodded as he pocketed the keys. He understood. Blaze was saying that this was something special between Matt and him.

Winds had picked up Ben so he could see inside.

Sam took Ben from Winds and headed around to the driver's side as he said "I guess that leaves you to drive."

Ben squealed happily as Sam set him in the driver's seat. Ben's hands wrapped around the steering wheel and he made engine noises as he pretended to drive.

Sam's eyes misted and blurred as he watched Ben. His mannerisms were so like Matt. Sam saw an adult Matt sitting in the driver's seat grinning at him like a loon.

Out of the blue, Sam said to Matt "Someday this will be your truck Matt." His eyes cleared, Matt faded and Ben came into focus. Sam corrected "I mean Ben."

Everyone stopped and looked at Sam including Ben.

Ben's jaw dropped. Uncle Sam called him Matt and he wanted to give him the truck.

Daphne shook her head in disbelief, "Sam you don't have to do that. No. Matt gave this to you."

Sam turned to Daphy and replied "And someday I'm going to give it to Ben."

Then Sam reached out and tousled Ben's hair as he felt a warmth envelop him like a hug. It felt so right, so very right. It was meant to be.

Sam asked Ben, "You'd like to have the truck your dad once drove, wouldn't you?"

Ben nodded with wide eyes, "Unca Supersam you are the bestest."

Winds quipped, "None of us are ever gonna top this. Damn, Blondie you set the bar high."

Jim looked in the bed of the truck as he was processing what Sam had just done. My god, Matt and Sam had a one of a kind friendship. To consider giving something so meaningful to Matt's son. Well … it brought tears to Jim's eyes.

Mason put his arm around Blondie's shoulders and said "Wow Blondie, you are full of surprises today. Here we thought we would be the one doing the surprising."

Sam laughed, "You did that. I'm surprised you all are here. But sadly, your gifts are on the way to Kandahar."

Blaze grinned and joked, "So Christmas in July then."

They all laughed.

Jim picked up one of the snowball launchers from the bed of the truck and asked "What are these?"

Sam grinned, "That just happens to be the weapon of the day. Snowball launchers." Sam looked at Ben and asked "Wanna have a snowball war?"

Ben squealed with glee as he nodded his head eagerly.

Blaze turned to Ryan and said "Kiddo you are on my team."

Ryan beamed.

Jim pulled out all six of them and handed them out.

Teams were quickly formed that included everyone except Heather and Brianna. Blaze, Lizzy and Ryan were a team. Sam, Ben and Daphne teamed up. Which left Mason, Jim and Winds as a team.

Heather headed inside with Brianna and watched out the window as the battles began.

* * *

 _ **Blaze's Home – Kitchen – Saturday, December 26th – 11:30 am**_

Sam entered the kitchen and sat on one of the stools at the counter. He breathed a little heavily and rubbed at his chest. He was winded and sore. Sam had a good time but he needed a break.

Heather set a steaming cup of coffee down for Sam and asked "You feeling okay?"

Wrapping his hands around the mug of coffee Sam answered "Yeah, just needed something warm to drink. Thanks."

Heather eyed him and then nodded as she asked "Mind keeping an eye on Brianna for me for a few minutes?"

Sam smiled at Brianna who was sitting in a bouncer seat and answered "Sure."

Heather headed outside.

In a soft voice, Sam said to Brianna "Your mommy is going to get your daddy because she thinks your uncle Sammy overdid it outside. She's right you know. Your mommy is a smart cookie."

He broke off as the door opened. Then he turned to say to Brianna "See I told you so."

"What did you tell her?" Heather asked.

Sam chuckled, "That you went to get Jim."

Jim came to a stop next to Sam and asked "Status?"

Turning to look at Jim directly, Sam answered "You tell me."

Jim closed his eyes and then confessed "I just wanted you to enjoy your Christmas without worrying about whether you would be on light duty when you returned to SRU after vacation. You strained your chest muscles again. But, if you take it easy for the rest of your vacation, you should be fit for duty."

Sam nodded "I appreciate the thought, but Jim, I'm always truthful with you. I expect the same back. That's how it works for us."

Heather said "I think you should do the checkup you planned now Jim. And Sam, I told him he should not have done that no matter how much his heart was in the right place."

Jim looked crestfallen, "I'm sorry Sam. Won't happen again."

Accepting the apology at face value, Sam answered truthfully "Muscles sore, a little winded, level two. I think I'm out of the snowball wars now."

"Let's head back into the bedroom and I'll do a once over" Jim said after hearing Sam's answer.

* * *

 _ **Blaze's Home – Blaze's Bedroom – Saturday, December 26th – 11:50 am**_

Pulling his shirt back on Sam looked up at Jim and asked "So?"

Jim looked downcast "I'm sorry, I should have had Dr. Fraser tell you the truth. You would not have over done then. Yeah, I think you are out of the snowball wars for the rest of the day. I'll ask if Blaze has a heating pad. You need to kick back and relax some."

Sam stood and put out his hand and gripped Jim on the left bicep, in the same place Jim had always gripped him to show he cared, "Jim, nothing to be sorry for. I would have done what I did yesterday anyways. And today. Yeah today too. I'll just rest a bit and be good as new."

Then Sam added, "I never really ever thanked you for all you did for me. I know it was unspoken. But it is important for me to tell you how much I appreciate all you did for me. If it weren't for you I would not be here. Many times over. You are like my earth-bound guardian angel. So, thank you Jim. Thank you for always taking such good care of me."

Jim smiled "If we are getting all sappy, just let me tell you. It has always been my honor to take care of you. You are worth it. You all are. We all walked through hell together. I'm glad that most of us made it through to better times."

Sam nodded "Wish we all did."

"Me too" Jim said.

Then Sam smiled and said "Blaze sure has it bad for Lizzy. Thought for sure he would be a bachelor forever."

Jim grinned, "It's good to see him so happy. Daphne, Ben, Lizzy and Ryan add something special to his life. I just wish Winds and Mason would find someone special too."

"Who knows, we never thought it would happen for Blaze. But it did" Sam speculated.

A thought struck Jim as he said "Perhaps we should have Lizzy take a look at you. She is a physical therapist you know."

Sam shook his head "Nope. Nope. Nope. I'm not letting the Ice Queen have at me."

Jim laughed, "But there is a ton of snow you could ice yourself in afterwards."

"A heating pad and rest is all I need" Sam stated with a grin. Then he added "And maybe a little nap."

Jim nodded, "I'm right there with you on the nap front. Was up at four am to fly up here this morning. It was really nice of Zach to fly us up."

Sam's eyes widened, "Zach knew you were coming?"

"Sure he did. He's in Mason's unit" Jim responded.

"And here he was moaning and groaning about not being in on the secret of the snowball launchers" Sam stated. Then he asked "So how long are you and Heather staying?"

"We planned to head back on the twenty-ninth. So, that gives us three days before Zach flies us home. We were gonna fly back with you" Jim answered.

Another idea struck Sam and he asked "Would you want to drive back with me?"

Jim grinned, "That sounds like fun. Yeah, I'd like that. Maybe Blaze, Mason and Winds would want to drive with us. Zach could fly Heather and Brianna home and then take the guys back when he returns."

"Sounds like a plan" Sam said with a happy grin. Matt's gift was giving him more than just past memories. It was helping him make new good memories with his brothers.

* * *

 _ **Blaze's Home – Kitchen – Saturday, December 26th – 12:10 pm**_

Jim and Sam headed into the kitchen and found it full of everyone but Ryan and Ben. Daphne, Lizzy and Blaze were in the process of making lunch for everyone.

Blaze looked at Blondie and asked "So what's the verdict?"

Sam sat on a stool and said a bit dejectedly "I'm on the injured reserve list. No more snowballs for me."

Jim asked "Do you have a heating pad Blaze?"

Winds piped up "Yep he does. I'll go get it."

Mason teased, "Should I carry you to a chair Sunshine?"

Sam chuckled, "No thanks Gorgeous, I can make it under my own power."

Winds returned with the heating pad and said "Blaze has got a ton of these. Lizzy put him through the wringer to rehab him."

Lizzy grinned up at Blaze and then said "One of my star patients." Then she turned to Sam and said "I hear you strained your muscles. I could have a look if you want?"

Sam shook his head "No thanks, I'm good."

At the looks from the guys Sam amended "I'll be good soon. Just need to relax and enjoy my time off."

They all nodded with grins.

Then Sam proposed Jim's idea to them. All the guys liked the idea. It would be nice just to hang out together. Over lunch they made plans for the next few days that also included getting together with Sam's cousins. During lunch, Ryan and Ben begged to resume the snowball fights and they were happy when they were told they would.

As lunch concluded, Sam turned to Winds and said "If you wouldn't mind, there is a little project I'd like your help with while the rest are throwing snowballs."

Winds nodded "Sure. What kind of project?"

"I'll explain in a bit. I just need to get something from the truck" Sam answered.

As he headed out of the kitchen, Sam heard Mason question "Wonder what his project is?"

* * *

 _ **Blaze's Home – Study – Saturday, December 26th – 1:23 pm**_

Winds sat at Blaze's desk and swapped out the CD he was burning to Daphne's laptop. Blaze had a computer but it was ancient. Daphne's laptop was the latest and greatest. He put the last one in and said "So you gonna tell me what is so special on these CDs?"

Sam asked "In that software, I'll be able to separate out tracks, right?"

Winds nodded and answered "Yeah, each song will come across separately."

"What about sections where there is a voice added?" Sam asked.

"Those too will be separate. Why?" Winds responded.

Sam then asked "Does Daphne have the right software to maybe copy only portions of the tracks?"

"No, but it would be easy enough to download a program to do that" Winds answered.

Grinning Sam said "Good."

Winds sighed "Are you ever gonna tell me why you want to do this?"

Sam stood and went to the door and closed it. He went to the window and looked out. He saw everyone fully engaged in the snowball battle. Several of the neighborhood kids had even joined in.

Sitting down next to Winds again, Sam finally answered "I'm not sure what is on three of them. I haven't listened to them all yet. You'll see in a moment."

Winds nodded and the CD finished copying to the laptop. He pulled up the program that showed all the files.

Sam grinned when he saw all the files. He looked to the column of file data and found the one that listed the duration. Immediately he noticed that there were many short duration files. Shorter than a normal song. Those must be Matt's commentary.

He moved the mouse to one of those files and clicked play. He watched for Winds' reaction. He was not disappointed when Winds' jaw dropped open as Matt's voice played through the speakers.

" _Hey Sammy, I know you always liked Dream On by Aerosmith hoped you enjoyed that one. Keep singing with me and dream on, dream on, dream on. The next up is another Aerosmith tune, Dude Looks Like a Lady."_

 _Matt laughed heartily and then snorted before he said "This one reminds me of the time that Winds kissed that guy. Remember? We were all at the base bar while you were recouping. Winds had a good buzz on and he walked up to the bar to get the next round. Next thing we know he his making out with that long-haired blonde."_

 _Laughing again Matt continued "Shit, Winds was shocked when the dude spoke in deep bass and told him it was the best kiss he'd had in ages. Blaze had to pick Winds up off the floor he was so shocked. But you know, at the base bar a dude with long blonde hair is unexpected. And the dude was pretty too. Do me a favor and razz Winds about that one. Maybe get him some mouth wash or give him an apple and pin a note on that says before kissing look for the adam's apple."_

Winds stared at Blondie in stunned disbelief "You have to be freaking kidding me. Matt's voice."

His eyes misted and then welled with tears and Winds' voice shook a bit "My god, Blondie. I never thought I'd hear him again."

Sam nodded "Me either. I wanted to make a CD for Ben of appropriate clips. I have no idea what is on all of these, I've only listen to part of them. I'd like to give you guys and Daphy a copy of them too. I'd also like you guys to listen to the one that was in the player when I started the truck. But that is for only us. My cousin's heard it and that is okay but I wanted to share with you all too since we walked that road together."

Winds sniffed and wiped his eyes, "I'm happy to help. God, this is great. Matt. He sure knew what you needed. I still miss him."

Sam nodded "Me too."

* * *

 _ **Blaze's Home – Family Room – Saturday, December 26th – 4:00 pm**_

Sam stood in front of the tree. He smiled at those sitting on the couch and chairs and on the floor. They were shy Lizzy and Ryan now. They had headed home about fifteen minutes ago.

He was unaware Ryan would be here today. Sam felt bad he did not have a gift for him so he had gifted Ryan one of the snow launchers. That had made Ryan very happy. He could see the glee on the boy's face and hear it in his thanks before Lizzy and Ryan left.

Ben was sitting in a chair with a folding table in front of him waiting patiently, or as patiently as a four-year-old can. Ben's legs were swinging and he was fidgeting.

Sam had told Ben that he had two more gifts for him after they finished their snowball war a couple of hours ago. Everyone, except him and Winds had crashed for a short nap. It took him and Winds most that time to finish listening to all of the clips of Matt and finding the ones that were appropriate for Matt at this age. Luckily there were several. The rest, well almost the rest, would have to wait until Ben was older. A few would only be for Sam and the guys to ever hear.

But before he gave him that, Sam had someone for Ben to meet. Vanessa was set to make a video call from the hospital. It was the best they could do since she could not be here in person. And Sam did not want to put off the meeting any longer. He wanted to give Vanessa and Ben the gift of additional family this Christmas.

Sam cleared his throat then said "Ben, the first gift is that there is someone I'd like you to meet."

Ben looked around confused seeing only his uncles, his aunt Heather and his mom "Who?"

Moving to the laptop that was on the table in front of Ben, Sam knelt down and said "Your dad's sister."

Ben turned to his mom "Daddy had a sister?"

Daphne nodded "Yes sweetheart. But your daddy didn't know he had a sister. They never got to meet. But she is your aunt."

"Where is she?" Ben asked.

Sam replied "She could not be here today but we are going to see her on the computer."

"Like a movie?" Ben asked.

"Sort of like movie. It is called a video call. You can see her and she will be able to see you" Blaze explained.

At that moment, Blaze's phone rang. When he saw the caller id, he got worried. Lizzy never called while driving and her place was a good thirty minutes from his home. Blaze answered "Lizzy, everything alright?"

 _[Lizzy's voice was soft and a little distant "Don … we … we … went off … the road … into a … ditch." She touched her head and brought back blood.]_

"Lizzy where are you?" Blaze asked as he stood.

The concern in Blaze's voice had everyone stopping.

 _["I … don't … Ryan … Ry … baby … Ry … oh please … he's bleeding … Don …" Lizzy trailed off as blackness overcame her.]_

"Lizzy. Lizzy! Talk to me Lizzy" Blaze demanded.

Winds and Jim were on their feet.

Blaze turned the others "I gotta go. Lizzy said they went into a ditch. She said Ryan was bleeding but then she stopped talking. They're somewhere between here and her home."

Winds stated "I'm driving you."

Mason stood "I'll come too. If they went into a ditch, we will need to pull her out. My truck has a winch on the front."

Jim stated "I'll get my bag. It'll take EMS sometime to get there once we find where they are at."

Sam stood intending to go, but Jim put a hand on his shoulder "Sorry Sam, you need to stay here. Doctor's orders."

Heather looked at Jim and then at Daphne and said "Brianna is asleep and bound to stay that way for several hours. I have extra bottles here if she wakes. Daphne, if you would watch her, I could go too. If they are both injured Jim might need a second pair of hands."

Daphne nodded "Absolutely." She turned to Blaze and said "Call me if I can do anything."

Sam was not pleased about not going. But with Blaze, Winds, Jim, Mason and Heather going and the fact he just taken another dose of pain meds it was not a good thing for him to go.

The five of them headed out and would be taking Winds' and Mason's vehicles. Blaze was on the phone with 911 as the door to his house closed behind them.

Sam sat heavily on the couch. Damn. Today had been good. He hoped Lizzy and Ryan were okay.

Ben didn't really understand why everyone left so quickly. He asked "Am I going to meet my aunt still?"

Daphne sat down and looked to Sam.

Sam took a breath, checked his watch and realized Vanessa would already be signed in and nodded "Yeah buddy."

He got up and then picked Ben up and set him in his lap as he sat on the chair in front of the laptop. Then he signed in to the video call.

Sam gave Vanessa a soft smile and said "Hi Vanessa."

 _[Vanessa smiled and said "Hi Sam."_

 _She stared at Ben. Oh my, he was the image of Matt. Vanessa started to tear up.]_

Daphne moved her chair closer and looked at the woman and smiled.

Sam introduced them "Vanessa I'd like you to meet Daphne Blain and Matthew Benjamin Hunter Jr." He paused and then added "Ben and Daphne, I'd like you to meet Vanessa Chardin."

 _[Vanessa smiled broader as she said "Hello."]_

Ben piped up, "Hi. Unca Supersam says you are my aunt."

 _["I am. Your daddy was my half-brother. I've been looking forward to meeting you Ben. I tried to come in person but I had to work" Vanessa said.]_

"My daddy was a soldier. Are you?" Ben asked.

 _[Vanessa shook her head "No, I'm a doctor."]_

Ben nodded and said seriously "It's good you didn't come then. Unca Supersam doesn't like doctors. But he lets Uncle Jim take care of him."

Sam looked at Daphy and cocked an eyebrow, then questioned "Just what have you been telling Ben?"

Daphy snickered, "Wasn't me, must have overheard the guys talking last night. He takes it all in Sam. I never know what is gonna come out."

Ben nodded, "Uncle Ducky says you don't like doctors exceptin for Uncle Jim."

Sam turned back to Vanessa, "I like Vanessa too. She's a good doctor. Took real good care of me last winter."

 _[Vanessa wiped at her happy tears. She had family again. She was meeting her brother's son. She asked "What did Santa bring you for Christmas?"]_

Ben's eyes got wide and excitedly answered, "A sled. Uncle Ducky and Winds and I rode it a lot yesterday. I got some other toys and drums too. But mostly I got my uncles here. We had a snowball fight today. It was so fun."

Vanessa and Ben talked for a good fifteen minutes before Vanessa had to go.

 _[Not wanting to sign off but needing to go tend a patient, Vanessa said "It was so nice to meet you and talk to you Ben. Merry Christmas. Have a Happy New Year too. I hope that I can make it out there soon to visit you in person."]_

Ben waved and with a smile said "Bye Aunty Nessa."

Daphne and Sam exchanged goodbyes with Vanessa too and then the video call ended.

Ben turned and said "She's nice."

Sam nodded "Yes she is. Very nice."

Daphne smiled at Sam and said "I'll have to contact her and see about taking Ben to meet her this summer if I get a chance."

"I'm sure Vanessa would like that" Sam stated.

Ben squirmed in Sam's lap and asked "So what was my other present? You said you had two."

Sam wasn't sure if he should wait. But then decided that whatever was going on with Lizzy and Ryan they could do nothing but wait to find out. He could see the anxiousness in Daphne's expression and thought that some distraction would be good.

He needed distraction too. It was wrenching his gut that Lizzy and Ryan might be badly hurt and he was stuck here and not able to help. Blaze had found happiness and Sam didn't want anything to mar that or take it away.

Sam took a deep breath and said "I didn't expect to have this present for you. But it really is not from me. It is from your dad."

Daphne looked at Sam "From Matt?"

Sam nodded "This is a present for you too. Matt made me several CDs with our favorite driving songs. That was cool. But the best part of the CDs is that he also included small clips of him talking about random things."

Daphne's eyes widened. Her voice was a little shaky "You have Matt's voice?"

"Yeah. Now so do you" Sam said and then pulled up the file on the computer that was titled 'For Ben'.

Sam hit play and Matt's voice was happy, _"You know, I had this funny thought sometimes. I thought that when we got out, we should form a band Sammy. I could learn to play the drums and do the vocals. You could learn to play the guitar, not just the air guitar, but a real one."_

" _Blaze could play keyboard. You know, I saw him fiddling around with a keyboard in the store when we came home for Christmas. He was pretty good. Hidden talent. I sorta promised not to tell. Oops, I guess I told. Sorry Blaze."_

" _Winds could be our audio man, he's so techie. Ripsaw could play bass, he already knows how. Mason would make a good bouncer or our lead singer."_

 _Matt laughed as he said "You know, he's got those gorgeous looks. Wait no, that's what we got you for."_

" _I didn't forget Patch. He can be our roadie medic. Why? Cause you can't seem to go anywhere without getting into trouble. Anyhow … I thought of several names for our band. A couple are Full Metal Jacket, The Forsaken Soldiers or The Guardians. What ya think?"_

 _Matt sighed "Just one of my weird thoughts. I really wish I had a chance to learn to play the drums. Maybe I'll get a chance to do that in heaven. I'm sure heavens got to have some fantastic bands. It can't be all choir music up here. Gott have some rock and roll. With that said. The next song will get you moving. I bet you won't be able to stop yourself from singing along to Rock and Roll all Night by Kiss."_

When it ended, Ben looked up at Uncle Sam and asked in a little voice "Was that my daddy?"

"Yeah it was buddy" Sam replied.

Daphne was wiping her tears that would not stop falling.

Sam pulled her to him and held her as she cried.

Ben hugged his mommy, "Don't cry Mommy. I'll learn to play the drums."

Daphne hugged Ben to her. She looked at Sam and her voice was choked up, "I miss him so much. This is a precious gift. To hear his voice again. I never thought I'd get to do that. Thank you."

Sam teared up too as he said "I know Matt loved you. Ben would not be here if he didn't if you get my drift."

Daphne gave Sam a small smile and nodded, "Yeah I get your meaning."

Ben looked up at uncle Sam and asked "What does rock and roll all night sound like?"

Sam looked at Daphne for permission, she nodded. Sam pulled up the song and hit play.

Ben started bobbing his head and then ran to his drum set and then started banging in it in beat to the music.

Sam and Daphne were singing and clapping along by the end of the song and smiling at Ben who was getting into the music.

When the song ended, Ben was grinning ear-to-ear.

Sam remarked with a grin "He's got rhythm."

Daphne hugged Sam again and smiled, "Drum lessons here we come."

Ben asked with a bright smile waving his drum sticks in the air "Can we play that song again?"

Sam hit play again and the three of them rocked out.

 _._


	12. Bedtime, Don Pain & You Light Up My Life

**Bedtime, Don's Pain & You Light Up My Life **

* * *

_**Blaze's Home – Ben's Room – Saturday, December 26th – 7:15 pm**_

Sam leaned down and gave Ben a hug as he said "Night little buddy. Sweet dreams."

Then Sam stood adjusted the afghan his mother had made for Ben as a gift. It was green to match his eyes and black to match his hair. Sam had enjoyed today with Ben. He stroked through Ben's hair once and then headed to the door where Daphne was already standing.

Daphne smiled and put her hand on the light switch as she said "Goodnight Ben."

Ben's eyes closed as he murmured "Night mommy."

Sam stopped at the door and turned back to Ben. As Daphne turned off the light the nightlight cast a soft glow in Ben's room. Both stood in the doorway looking at Ben.

Daphne whispered "I've never seen him fall asleep so quickly."

Sam grinned "He had a full day. And rocking out on the drums for a few hours had to help wear out a bit of his energy."

Slipping her arm around Sam's waist and laying her head on his shoulder Daphne sighed "Yes, that and the snowball wars. Ben had a great day. So, did I. I'm glad you could come."

Sam just smiled. Yeah, he was glad he could come too.

They turned and headed down the hall to the family room.

* * *

 _ **Blaze's Home – Family Room – Saturday, December 26th – 8:00 pm**_

Daphne looked up from the book she was reading and glanced at Sam who had crashed out on the sofa while he was feeding Brianna. She had gently taken Brianna from his arms and put her back in the portable crib where Brianna was sound asleep too.

She was glad to see Sam resting. Ben had kept Sam fully engaged when it was clear Sam needed to rest. She was also glad Ben was so tuckered out he put up no fuss going to bed tonight. Usually, it was a battle to get Ben to settle down and go to sleep.

Sam and she were waiting for an update on Lizzy and Ryan. She hoped it would be soon.

Mason had called hours ago to let them know they had located Lizzy's car in the ditch and they were on their way to the hospital. He also said that he and Winds were going to pull Lizzy's car out while Don, Jim and Heather went to the hospital with Lizzy and Ryan. Then Winds and Mason planned to go to the hospital to wait with the others and they would call once they knew how Ryan and Lizzy were.

She and Sam had entertained Ben and taken care of little Brianna. Sam was good with little ones. Daphne still marveled at how badass soldiers and police officers turned to putty in face of little babies. Watching Sam with Brianna made her wish that Sam would find the right woman and settle down.

Daphne still remembered how Matt had talked about Sam. Matt had loved Sam like a brother. He worried a great deal about Sam and said that Sam needed people in his life that would help him stay in the light. Matt believed that Sam had great purpose on this earth and as such he would encounter much hurt.

Oh, how right Matt was. Beyond all the physical hurts, which were staggering when combined, the emotional pain that Sam had to endure was beyond what most could bear. How Sam survived being the one who killed Matt, she did not fully understand. Especially after Don had explained how Sam was left all alone to deal with Matt's death.

She still couldn't believe her brother and the other guys had treated Sam that way. Or how long it took to find him, by accident of all things. God, what pain Sam must have been in thinking that they had abandoned him after Matt's death. Daphne knew how much pain that caused Don.

Daphne heard Don's nightmares. He didn't have them often but when he did they were terrible.

Hearing Don beg for forgiveness from both Matt and Sam in his nightmares was heartbreaking. She heard the anguish as he called out 'cleared to fire', 'oh god, not Matt', 'I've killed them both' and 'don't you die on me Blondie, not you too' in his dreams.

It was from the nightmares that she also found out that Don still carried the weight of guilt for leaving Sam in captivity. His calls of 'should've gone sooner', 'look what I let happen', 'I'm gonna kill the bastards, every last one' and his anguished cries of 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry' were just as hard to listen to.

Her brother was a strong man but he carried a huge weight of responsibility that had nearly broken him. Those six years as Sam's CO were the toughest of his life. Daphne knew it was because Don had developed a fatherly feeling towards Sam. She knew what that was like. Don may be her brother, but he was her father too.

Don had stepped up at only eighteen and made her a priority in his life. He had shelved his own grief over the loss of their parents in order to do what had to be done to take care of her. Daphne barely remembered her real dad and mom. All her salient parental memories were of Don. She had been so young when they died.

So, she knew how her brother expressed his fatherly tendencies and it was absolutely clear that in his heart, Don look upon Sam as his son.

But tonight, Daphne was worried about Don in addition to Lizzy and Ryan.

Her brother deserved the happiness he had found with Lizzy and Ryan.

For years, while she was undercover in Mousa's organization, she had wondered if her brother had found the woman that was his match. In some weird, twisted way she felt a little responsible for him meeting Lizzy. If it were not for him getting hurt when Mousa came after her and Ben, Don may have never met Lizzy.

Lizzy was perfect for Don. Her son had taken up residence in Don's heart too. She saw the same fatherly tendencies Don showed for her, Sam and Ben towards Ryan too. If they were hurt badly, Don would be hurt too, emotionally.

Daphne did not want that to happen. Lizzy and Ryan lit up Don's life like Matt and Ben did hers. She wanted Don to be happy.

The door opening pulled Daphne out of her thoughts. She turned and waited to see who had come back. She saw Mason, Jim and Heather enter the family room.

Daphne put her finger to her lips and then pointed at Sam as she whispered "He just conked out about fifteen minutes ago. How are Lizzy and Ryan?"

Mason looked at Blondie and then replied "They are doing okay. They will be spending the night in the hospital but they should be allowed out tomorrow."

Sam stirred hearing Mason's voice. He was only sleeping lightly. He sat up and asked "Why are they keeping them overnight?"

Heather went to check on Brianna as Jim said "Technically speaking, they are only keeping Lizzy overnight. She hit her head on the window and they are doing concussion protocols. She hit it hard enough that she has a goose egg and a small cut."

"Ryan is okay. He got a cut on his arm from one of his toys that went flying when they went into the ditch. The cut required seven stitches but he is alright otherwise. Ryan was conscious when we arrived and really worried that his mom was not answering him."

Mason added "Blaze decided to stay the night there so that Ryan could stay with his mom. Winds stayed to help too."

"I'm glad that they are alright" Sam said as he stretched slightly trying to get the kinks out after sleeping on the couch.

Jim sat next to Sam and asked "How are you doing?"

Before Sam could answer, Daphne said "He is wiped out. Kept Ben entertained all evening. No small feat. Sam you are welcome to stay here tonight."

Sam thought about it for all of two seconds. Two nights on a couch did not sound too pleasing, especially with as sore as he was. Sam responded "Thanks. But I think I'll head home."

"When did you last take pain meds?" Jim asked.

"Before four. I should be fine to drive now" Sam answered.

Mason shook his head "No, the roads are icy. Don't want to be pulling you out of ditch next. I'll drive you if you want to head home. I can pick you up in the morning or you could catch a ride here with one of your cousins."

"So, we are still planning on getting together tomorrow?" Sam asked.

Jim nodded and said "Yeah, Lizzy insisted that Blaze not change his plans, saying it is rare that we all can be together. Heather offered to go over tomorrow and watch Ryan while Lizzy rested."

Daphne offered "I can take Ben over too. The boys can play together, Ryan won't be bored then. Jim, you and Heather can take Blaze's room tonight so you don't have to drive on the icy roads with Brianna to the hotel."

Heather looked down at Brianna and the thought of seeing Lizzy's car in the ditch made her shiver a bit. She turned to Daphne and said "Thank you."

Sam asked "Mason you still living in the barracks?"

Mason nodded. He had given up his apartment when the lease ended a few months ago. He was going to wait until he had his extended leave to get a new one. No sense in paying for an apartment if he was never there.

"Okay, well if you drive me home, then you can plan of staying the night" Sam stated.

"I wouldn't want to be any trouble to Mrs. General. I'll just drop you off and then head to the barracks" Mason stated.

Sam shook his head "She won't hear of that. You know you are one of her four favorites. Right up there with Blaze, Winds and Jim. I'm staying in my old room. The down stairs bedroom is free."

Mason nodded "If you sure it is no trouble."

"None at all" Sam replied.

After that was settled Sam and Mason gathered their things and bid everyone else goodnight then they headed out.

* * *

 _ **Outside Blaze's Home – Saturday, December 26th – 8:30 pm**_

Outside the door, Sam asked "Your truck or mine?"

Mason looked at Sam and put it back on him "Whichever you prefer."

Sam handed over the keys to his truck "Mine."

Taking the keys, Mason looked at the truck. Images of Matt flying through the desert as he maneuvered a Humvee clouded his mind. He said softly "Matt sure could drive." He sighed and said "Still miss him, especially his laugh."

Grinning, Sam said "Then I think you are gonna like driving the truck. I have a little surprise for you."

* * *

 _ **General Braddock's Home – Kitchen – Saturday, December 26th – 9:00 pm**_

William and Yvonne sat at the table with Sam and Mason while Sam and Mason finished a snack Yvonne had fixed them.

Yvonne asked "Would either of you like another ham sandwich?"

Mason said "No thank you Ma'am. This was very good. It hit the spot."

Sam nodded and said "I'm full Mom. Thanks."

William asked "So Mrs. Wilder and her son are going to be okay?"

"Yes" Sam said as he put his napkin down.

Mason turned to the General and said "Thank you for approving my leave Sir. It was nice surprising Blondie. But I think he did more surprising than us."

He thought about what Blondie shared with him in the truck. It made him so happy to hear Matt's voice again. Especially the laughter. The jokes Matt was telling were too risque for mixed company but they had Blondie and him laughing like crazy on the way over here.

Mason was now aware of the little project Blondie and Winds had undertaken this afternoon. He could not wait for Blaze and Jim to hear Matt too. It would bring a special joy to this Christmas to hear Matt again.

William nodded "That he did."

Sam nodded and then grinned "I have another one. This one is for you Mom. Matt not only left me the truck, he left me something better. Matt left me memories."

He shifted a bit so he was looking at his mom as he said "Matt also made a request of me. He was insightful and knew things, things from the heart. It was like … I don't know … I can't really explain it. But it was like somehow he just knew things … important things. This is one of the things he was absolutely right about."

Sam reached into his pocket and withdrew the music player that he had transferred the tracks onto and then said "This is Matt." He hit play.

 _Matt's voice was soft as he said "Sam this is important. I need you to do something for me. I need you to visit your mom. She loves you, I know it and deep in your heart you know it too. You need to go home to her. You need to hug her and tell her you love her. She is the lady that gave you this precious life."_

" _I want you to seriously think about it. Please. It is important. I do not think she ever abandoned you. She never stopped loving you Sammy. No mother could ever stop loving someone like you. Maybe there was something preventing her from telling you all that was in her heart or something preventing you from hearing it."_

 _Matt's voice cracked a bit as he shared "You know my beloved mother could never tell or show me outright that she loved me or she would get beaten. So, she told me through music. I listened to the music and knew how much my mother loved me. The next song is one that my beloved mother always played for me and I knew I was loved."_

" _Sammy, you are the light of your mother's life, just like I was the light of mine. I know it deep in my heart and soul. You need to know it too."_

" _I could tell by the way she stroked your hair in the video call that she loved you. The tears in her eyes that day said it all too. I wish you were not catatonic during that call. You could have seen it for yourself. For whatever reason, she could not tell you or you could not hear how she was telling you she loved you for so long."_

" _When she sent you that yo-yo you had as a kid. Man, there was nothing clearer. Your mother was shouting, I love you and I never stopped."_

 _Matt's voice was stronger as he said "So do this for me. Go visit your mom. When you see her, hug her and tell her how much you have always loved her. Then play her this song. It can be from son to mother and from mother to son."_

After Matt's voice faded, Sam stood and walked to his mom and hugged her tightly. Then Sam kissed her on the cheek and sat next to her as the soft strains of the ballad, You Light Up My Life* by Debbie Boon, began.

Sam took up his mother's hand and held it to his heart as he softly sang to his mother.

"So many nights I'd sit by my window  
Waiting for someone to sing me his song  
So many dreams I kept deep inside me  
Alone in the dark but now you've come along

And you light up my life  
You give me hope to carry on  
You light up my days and fill my nights with song

Rollin' at sea, adrift on the water  
Could it be finally I'm turnin' for home?  
Finally a chance to say "Hey, I love you"  
Never again to be all alone

And you light up my life  
You give me hope to carry on  
You light up my days and fill my nights with song

'Cause you, you light up my life  
You give me hope to carry on  
You light up my days and fill my nights with song

It can't be wrong  
When it feels so right  
'Cause you … you light up my life"

Yvonne was in tears and she leaned into Sam as he sang to her in his soft, gravelly voice.

Mason stood and headed out of the room. The fact that Blondie shared that with him in the room showed him how much he thought of him as a brother. But his mother would probably appreciate some privacy. Mason was choked up and decided to head to his room to call his mother and share with her how much he loved her too.

William watched Samuel and Yvonne. Once Mason left the room he allowed the tears he had been holding at bay to spring forward and well in his eyes. It was a beautiful sight. Yvonne had yearned for so many years for her little boy. Samuel was man now. The little boy was long gone. But the love he was showing his mother now … that choked him up.

Sam wrapped his mom in a hug as she cried when he finished the song.

"I love you Mom. I always have" Sam said. Then he turned to his dad "I love you too Dad. I always have."

William stood and embraced Samuel and Yvonne. The three embraced for a long moment.

Yvonne finally pulled back and looked into Sam's blue eyes and said "I love you Sammy. I always have. That song says it all. You do light up my life Sam."

William released them and then got a few tissues for Yvonne. As she wiped her eyes William said "Matt was a good man Samuel. I am thankful he was in your life."

Yvonne nodded "Yes, me too." Then a few things that Matt said in his message came back to her as she asked "What did Matt mean you were catatonic when I called? I thought you had just gotten back from a physical therapy session and were tired."

Sam took a deep breath and then shared with his parents all that his unit had done for him, leaving out the horrors and focusing on how they were there for him. How they made it look like he was not catatonic until he came out of it. How Dr. Parker kept the guys on the inactive status for as long as he could so they could care for him. How they all pulled him back from the brink when all he wanted to do was give up.

He looked at his mom and said "So, those guys are brothers to me."

Then Sam looked at his dad and saw a strange look on his face and asked "What are you thinking?"

Yvonne looked at William and said "You never told me all of that. I understand why. Thank you for keeping some of that from me." Then she assessed the look on William's face and added "I bet you never told Sam that it was you that ordered the unit be kept on the inactive list and that Jasper kept you in the loop of Sam's progress."

It was Sam's turn to be surprised "Dad?"

He shrugged trying to downplay his role. He felt he had not done enough to protect his son in those years. William said "I'm the General, of course I would be kept in the loop of Dr. Parker's assessments and unit status. I cannot in good conscience send out men that are not in the right mindset, men could get killed. Your unit was not able to operate given your state. I did what was necessary to protect all the men under my command."

Sam shook his head, his father sounded like a General and not his dad with that answer. These walls still got in the way for them.

He responded "Thank you Sir. Thank you, Dad. What you did saved my life. Without them I would have given up."

Then Sam then hugged his father. He needed to try and break down the walls that still separated them.

William hugged Samuel back. He hoped one day all the walls between them would drop like they had dropped with Yvonne. He just had to make sure and not misstep again with Samuel.

Yvonne looked around and noticed Mason had left. She said "Mason is such a good man. I like him very much."

Sam looked around, Mason was gone. He smiled and replied "Yes he is. I should go make sure he has everything he needs tonight. Then I think I'll make it an early night. Ben wore me out."

Yvonne asked "Did Ben like the blanket I made him?"

"Yes, he did. Ben insisted on using it at bedtime tonight" Sam shared.

Yvonne stood and said "I'll come with you to make sure Mason is set for the night." She turned to William and said "An early night sounds good to me too."

William stood and said "I'll meet you up there after I square away the kitchen."

Then he picked up the plates and glasses used by Samuel and Mason and headed to the sink to wash them up. He might be a General but he was not above helping around the house. Cooking was beyond him, but washing a few dishes definitely was not.

Sam watched his dad pick up the dishes and said "I was going to take care of those before I went up. You can just leave them in the sink and I'll take care of them Sir … Dad."

William grinned and responded "I can handle a few dishes son. You are supposed to be resting anyways. You want to be in top shape when your vacation is over. Goodnight Samuel."

"Goodnight Dad" Sam responded and then headed out with his Mom to check if Mason needed anything.

After they checked on Mason, Sam and Yvonne both headed up the stairs.

* * *

 _ **General Braddock's Home – Top of the Stairs – Saturday, December 26th – 10:00 pm**_

At the top of the stairs Yvonne, hugged Sam and said "You light up my life. Sweet dreams my son."

Sam hugged her back and said "I love you Mom. Goodnight."

As they went separate directions Yvonne stopped and turned "Sam?"

Sam stopped and turned "Yes."

Yvonne went back to Sam and took his hand. She looked in his eyes and said "That day of the video call. We got cut off before I could tell Matt something to share with you. I wanted him to tell you that I love you dearly. That I missed you so very much. That I wish I could be there to comfort you and please give you a hug from me."

Sam nodded "You know, Matt shared a concern with me that he had about that day. He was worried about you. But I knew in my heart his concern was not valid, even with as confused as I was I knew that could not be true."

"What could not be true?" Yvonne asked softly.

Sam lightly touched his mom's cheek and shared "He saw a bruise on your face and your hand was in a brace. He thought you were might be a battered woman. That Dad did that to you. I knew deep down that Dad could never do that to you. As much as I thought that Dad wanted me dead, I knew for a fact he could never harm you or Natalie."

"But, Matt grew up different. He watched his father beat his mother and his mother cover her bruises with makeup and tell people she fell. He thought you were hiding the abuse when you said you fell down the stairs. I wish his mother could have found a safe haven and gotten away from his father."

Yvonne's face became sad and her tone softened more "I'm so sorry that Matt and his mother had to endure that. But they did have each other. And Sam … you do know your father never wanted you dead. Ever. You are the light of his life too. One day you two will both be able to fully accept that. I pray for that day to come soon, but I have patience and hope that it will come to pass. Just like I had hope you would come home to me."

Sam hugged his mother again "I know that in my heart. We have things to work out still. We are both trying."

Yvonne caressed her son's face and smiled "I know. For now, that is enough, that you both are trying. It meant as much to your father that you came home this Christmas as it did to me. Goodnight dear."

Sam nodded and turned to head to his childhood room. It would be strange to sleep in it. He had not slept in it since he was sixteen. When he was here to recover both previous times he had stayed in the downstairs room.

* * *

 _ **General Braddock's Home – Sam's Childhood Room – Saturday, December 26th – 10:05 pm**_

He opened the door to his room and sighed. He was nearly home completely, it had taken twenty years to get to this point.

Sam had hope, like his mother, that someday he and his father could find a way to fully re-build their relationship. But he had much to get past and rework in his head and his dad was not always as forthcoming as Sam wished he could be.

There were walls both had built to protect themselves. They both had to tear those walls down completely before they could rebuild.

Sam closed his door and did not bother to turn on the light. He stripped and then crawled into bed. He stared at the ceiling in the dark and his thoughts turned elsewhere.

He wondered what Jules was doing tonight. He wondered how her Christmas had gone. He wanted to talk to her.

Sam rolled over and pulled the covers over him more tightly. He wished that Jules was here with him. Warming his bed and his heart.

The song he sang to his mom entered his head. Jules lit up his life. She gave him hope. Loving her could not be wrong when it felt so right.

He thought of this summer. That card she sent him with her perfume on it. Even when he didn't know who he was, his body knew Jules was important.

Sam smiled thinking about the day at the lake when he fell in. It was a damned good thing he had. His thoughts while holding that shovel were quite randy and it would have been embarrassing for the guys to see him in such a state.

Sam's mind roamed back to thoughts of the passionate nights and early mornings spent with Jules. God, she was the only one he wanted to hold and make love too. He was ruined for any other woman.

The Sinner had found Mrs. Right and Ms. Right Now held no allure to him now. Sam knew he just had to be patient until Jules realized he was Mr. Right. Waiting was so hard to do.

Sam allowed his mind to replay times they were together. The kisses he would trail down her neck, down her flat stomach to her ... He felt himself growing at the thoughts alone. Sam got up and pulled his boxers on and then headed out of his room to the bathroom.

Time for a warm shower, passionate memories of Jules and a soapy hand.

It was what he did when the need overtook him now. Sam was no Saint after all, but he was no Sinner now either, he wanted no one but Jules. The fire in his heart would not be denied. So, for now it was a solo act with thoughts of Jules in his head.

He would carry on and stroke his own passion for Jules until they could be together again and Jules could light up his days and fill his nights with passion's song.

.

* * *

 _ **AN:**_ _Sorry for delay. Muse was a bit cranky that vacation was over and didn't let me write the past few days. God, I wish I could write for a living. That would be a dream come true. But until that dream becomes a reality, I got to take myself off to work._

 _*Song and lyrics are property and copyright of their appropriate owners._


	13. I Will See You Again Brothers

**I Will See You Again Brothers**

* * *

 _ **Blaze's Home – Family Room – Sunday, December 27th – 10:00 am**_

Sam was kicked back in a chair watching Mason and Ben wrestling on the floor. He wished he could join in but he was being good. He was feeling much better today. But he knew that was only because he had actually rested his muscles for two days. Sam knew he needed to rest for several more days so he would not have to do light duty when he returned to work on the second.

Blaze looked at Blondie and asked, "Want some more coffee?"

Sam tore his eyes off of Mason and Ben and turned to Blaze. "No, I'm good. How is Lizzy today?"

"A little sore. She is glad to have Heather and Daphy come over today help her with Ryan today," Blaze responded.

"Too bad Daphy isn't going to be here. I wanted to introduce her to all my cousins. I guess it will wait until another time," Sam commented.

Blaze nodded. "Yeah, another time. So, when will the rest of them be here?"

Scott grinned and answered, "Adam was rounding up Jeff, Kyle and Zach. They should be here in about thirty minutes."

"Good. The game starts at one so we should plan to head out when they get here," Blaze said.

Winds looked at Blondie and asked, "Who are you rooting for today?"

"That would be the Maple Leafs," Sam stated, knowing it would rile Scott who was a stalwart Senators fan.

"Defector. You should be supporting the Senators. You are from Ottawa," Scott stated.

Sam shrugged with a grin. "I live in Toronto. Jim's with me and the Maple Leafs. Right Jim?"

Jim chuckled. He was looking forward to the hockey game between the Ottawa Senators and Toronto Maple Leafs. It was a last-minute change in today's plans. Sam's mother had surprised Sam with tickets to the game for all of them this morning.

It was the perfect thing to keep Sam relaxing without making him feel like he was holding everyone else back. Blaze had originally planned for them to play hockey themselves. It was going to be a five on five game, unit vs cousins.

But that was before Blaze had learned about Sam's injuries. When he became aware of the injuries, they had planned on just hanging out at Blaze's home since doing physical activities was out for Sam. Now however, they would all be going to the hockey game.

Jim answered, "Seeing that I grew up in Toronto, it can't be anything but the Leafs. Besides the Senators have never won the cup."

"The Leafs haven't won one since 67. About the same thing," Winds retorted.

Mason grinned, "Too bad the Montreal Canadiens aren't playing. They'd wipe the ice with both those teams."

"OOOF," rushed out of Mason's mouth as Ben pounced on his stomach.

Ben chortled, "I win, I win."

Sam and the guys laughed and Mason rolled over and took Ben with him and proceeded to tickle Ben. Squeals and screams filled the room as Ben tried to wriggle away from Mason.

Daphne entered the room and smiled. She was so glad that Ben had so many strong male role models. She liked to think that Matt was looking down on them all and smiling. Daphne hated to interrupt Ben's play but they had to be going.

"Ben. Time to go," Daphne called out.

Mason quit tickling Ben and stood up. As he stood he gripped Ben by the ankles and hung him upside down. Ben giggled. Mason swung Ben back and forth a bit as he said, "Too bad the monkey has to go."

Ben giggled as he was swinging. He said, "Mommy, I wanna stay."

Daphne shook her head. "You have to come with me sweetie. Remember, Ryan is going to be there."

As Mason lifted Ben upright, Ben asked, "Can I take my drums?"

Sam chuckled and answered for Daphy, "No Ben. It would be too loud for Ryan's mom. You have to play quietly today."

Ben nodded. "Okay Unca Sam."

Mason gave Ben a hug and said, "See you later Monkey." Then he set Ben down so he could go hug the rest of the guys goodbye.

Scott grinned as he recalled that Adam used to call Sam monkey all the time. It was an apt name for Sam back then and a good one for Ben now too. Scott watched Ben hug Sam. He saw the light in Sam's eyes and he was glad that Sam had Ben in his life.

Heather entered the room and hugged Jim. Jim kissed both Brianna and Heather goodbye. When Ben finished his round of hugs, Daphne, Ben, Heather and Brianna headed out of the house.

Jim looked out the window with a little worry in his expression as he watched Heather put Brianna in the back in her car seat. "I hope they get there okay. The roads are still a little icy."

Sam stood and went to Jim as he said, "I'm sure they will."

Blaze chuckled and added, "They will, so long as Daphy doesn't drive."

"Heather is driving," Jim answered as he watched Heather pull away from the house. He turned to Blaze and asked, "Daphne that bad?"

"Oh yeah. Like she said yesterday, she is better as a passenger. When I was teaching her to drive, I swear it was scarier than facing down ten terrorists armed to the teeth with only a knife to defend myself," Blaze shared.

Winds nodded. "I remember that. I refuse to drive with her. Scares the hell out of me. Matt could have taught her a thing or two."

Sam pulled out his music player as he turned to Blaze and Jim and said, "I was going to share something with you last night but you had more pressing matters to attend too."

Blaze sat forward and asked, "What did you want to share?"

Winds and Mason grinned. Both already knew. It would shock Blaze and Jim.

Sam smiled and said, "The truck is not all that Matt leave to me. Take a listen to this." Sam pressed play.

 _Matt's voice said, "This next one is for all my brothers. Each of you are so very important to me. You are the family I wanted, my brothers. We shared a friendship and walked the hard road together. That friendship became an unbreakable bond. I just wanted to make sure you all know that I will see you again. So, let the light guide your way, hold every memory as you go and every road you take, will lead you home._

" _Seek the beauty of life my brothers. It is there for each of you. Stay strong my brothers. And remember, I will see you again. For now, it is not goodbye, it is see you later."_

Sam let the song, See You Again by Wiz Khalifa, play for the guys.

Blaze's eyes misted and his heart ached as he listened to the song. He missed Matt so much. Matt had faith, so much faith.

When the song ended, Blaze found his voice, "Matt was a godsend. He brought light to all of us in a very dark time. I believe him. We will see him again. He will be there waiting for us when we join him."

Wiping his eyes, Jim struggled to make his voice steady, but the emotion was powerfully deep, "Matt was a rare man. He had so much pain growing up but he never lost the light. I miss him. He is right though. There is beauty out there for all of us. I found my beauty in Heather."

Jim turned to Sam and added seriously, "I have you to thank for that."

Sam nodded and then broke the thick emotion by joking like Matt would have done. "I'd be happy to get injured again so the rest of you can meet your beauties. We have a nurse and a physical therapist. Now all we need is a doctor to round out our care needs."

Blaze, Winds, Mason and Jim laughed.

Scott threw a pillow at Sam as he shook his head as he grinned. "Doppelganger that is the worst idea I've ever heard out of your mouth."

Sam shrugged and smiled as he blocked the pillow. Then he asked, "You guys want to hear some more messages from Matt?"

Blaze asked, "There's more?"

Nodding Sam answered, "Yeah, lots. Winds helped me make copies for each of you yesterday."

"Winds, you didn't tell me," Blaze stated in disbelief as he stared at his best friend.

"I didn't want to ruin the surprise," Winds replied.

Jim remarked, "It is some surprise. Thanks for making me a copy Sam. I'd love to hear more."

Winds said, "Play the jokes."

Sam scrolled down to the section with jokes and hit play. All the guys were busting a gut at Matt's risqué jokes. They were laughing so loud and hard that they did not hear the knock at the door. Nor did they notice Adam, Jeff, Zach and Kyle right away when they entered the family room.

 _Matt's voice was laughing as he said, "Okay, okay. Do you know what the camel said when the elephant asked him why he had to tits on his back? No." Matt chuckled, "He said, because it is better than having a dick on my face like you."_

Adam, Jeff, Zach and Kyles laughed along with the rest of them.

Blaze looked up and saw Blondie's cousins had arrived. He stood and said, "We should be heading out."

Sam turned off the playlist and sighed. Matt gave them all the gift of memories and laughter. Blaze was right Matt had been a godsend. His life would have been very dark without Matt in it. The feelings of guilt started to creep in. It was his fault that Matt was no longer here.

Blaze noticed the change in Blondie's eyes as everyone started getting ready to leave. He grabbed his jacket then put his arm over Blondie's shoulder and guided him away from the rest of the guys. Then Blaze quietly said, "I know what you are thinking right now. I know it is hard and I know the feelings do not go away even though it was not your fault. Matt would want you to drop that burden Blondie. He was that type of man. You and I both know that. None of us blame you. You need to stop blaming yourself."

Sam whispered back, "I can't. It is my fault."

Blaze inhaled and then slowly exhaled. He understood. He carried the same guilt. He was the one that gave Blondie the all clear to fire. Blaze sighed.

Sam pushed the feelings down. He would not ruin today. He forced a smile back on his face and changed the subject, "Ten bucks says that the Leafs win."

Understanding what Blondie was doing, Blaze gripped Blondie's hand and shook. "You're on."

The group headed out to attend the hockey game and have some fun together.

 _._

* * *

 _ **AN:**_ _Short chapter I know. Real life and lack of inspiration impeding progress. Wanted to get a little something out there so that you don't think I quit. Hoping this weekend brings me more inspiration._

 _The song choice is a bit out of the timeline. It was not published until 2013 after Paul Walker died. But I guess it works because I don't include years so it could be any year. If you have never listened to that song, search youtube for it. It is worth listening too._

 _Just a small note: every song I mention in my stories have given me inspiration or helped me convey emotion. Even though I recommend searching on youtube for the music so you can hear it for free, I have thanked the artists for their inspiration by purchasing a copy of their songs. My music collection has always been eclectic but is getting more so now._


	14. Taking Down Trees, Hot Thoughts & Invite

**Taking Down Trees, Hot Thoughts & Invite **

* * *

_**Sam's Apartment – Wednesday, December 30th – 2:00 pm**_

Sam looked at his tree one last time. Christmas this year had been so very different. He smiled as he took each ornament off the tree and set it carefully into a storage box he had purchased just for them. After he finished with the ornaments he unwrapped the lights from the tree. It would be a little sad to have the tree gone. But the pine needles were falling and it was becoming a fire hazard.

He wound the lights up in a neat circle and put them in the box too. Then he picked up the tree. It was really little and with the pine needles falling it now looked a little bit like a Charlie Brown tree. He smiled at that. He had sat with Ben and watched a Charlie Brown Christmas the night they got back from the hockey game. Spending time with Ben was good for him. The innocence in his eyes reminded him of good times with Matt. He would make sure Ben knew Matt through stories.

The next day, his mom invited all the cousins and his unit to the house. Sam liked that because he got to spend time with his mom too. Daphy and Heather had taken Brianna with them to stay with Lizzy that day. Blaze had gone to pick up Ryan so he and Ben could play and give Lizzy a quiet day. They all went skating on the pond at the house.

He, Blaze and his mom helped teach Ben how to skate. It was fun watching his mom interact with Ben and Ryan. Several childhood memories had resurfaced. He could almost see his mom teaching him to skate on the pond. She was truly a beautiful person with a golden heart.

When the impromptu hockey game started, he was relegated to the bench with his mom and the kids. That was fine by him. His dad had donned a pair of skates to round out the teams to five and five. Dad joined the unit team as goalie.

That was fun to watch. He did not realize his dad knew how to skate. There was so much about his father he did not really know. Sam could see a different side to him now. He vowed to try really hard to get to know the man his dad was really, not the one he had to show to the world.

Sam smiled as he recalled how Blaze, Winds, Mason and Jim were just as shocked that his dad skated. For so many years they all hated the General with a passion thinking he was the one pulling the strings that kept him in the field, mission after mission. It was good to see them all working together.

It was a rowdy game and a hard-fought tie. He rooted for both sides but Ben and Ryan rooted for the unit only since they did not have ties to both side like he did. The game went into three overtimes before his mom called quits to it because dinner was ready.

Dinner had been fun too. If he excluded all the embarrassing stories that his cousins told his unit buddies and vice versa. When his mom joined in and told about the time he ran naked through the house, outside and climbed up a tree then refused to come down because he didn't want to take a bath, he had turned bright red. He was only four when he did that. His dad put a stop to the embarrassing stories after that. Thank god.

The drive down to Toronto had been fun too. He and the guys listened to the CDs Matt created and laughed most of the way. Each one shared their favorite memories of Matt. It was a nice way to remember him. They had all come to his apartment for a few beers and then when Zach arrived they all hung out until the wee hours of the morning just shooting the breeze.

He had not had a chance to call the team and tell them about Matt's gift. He decided he would not tell them. He would show them. When he returned to work, he would drive his truck. It would shock them all that he had a truck, and that Matt had given it to him. He was looking forward to seeing their faces.

Sam headed out of his apartment with the tree to put it in the tree recycling bin the apartment complex had put out for the residents to use.

He started thinking about Bella's New Year's Eve party tomorrow night. He wondered if Spike and Jules would come with him. He would call them when he got back in.

* * *

 _ **Jules' Home – Wednesday, December 30th – 2:00 pm**_

Jules finished un-decorating her tree. She had wrapped her new special ornaments with care and boxed them nicely. For once her tree had meaning. It was nice. This Christmas had been nice.

She had hung out with each of the team members at one point. With the exception of Sam and Leah, since they were out of town with their families. She had spent time with her girlfriends too. They had a grand time at a wine tasting event yesterday.

Jules picked up her tree and headed out to the curb. Tree pick up was tomorrow. She had not really wanted to take the tree down today, but she didn't want to have to lug the tree to the recycling place herself. Getting the pine needles out of the Jeep would be a huge chore and she didn't want to waste time doing that.

When she got back inside she ran the vacuum clearer to pick up all the fallen needles.

As she trudged up the stairs from the basement, after taking the ornament boxes down, Jules thought that she might need to do something about the basement. She had a work space down there but it was really pretty much a mess. She would add that to her renovations list. But it would be at the bottom.

Jules went to the coffee pot and poured the last of the pot into a cup. Then she headed to the family room and sat down on the couch, tucking her feet under her. She took a sip of coffee then set the cup on the table and picked up her book on the latest profiling techniques.

She was going to enjoy a quiet afternoon brushing up on her skills. However, Jules found her mind wandering as she read the same paragraph three times. She closed her book and set it down then pulled the blanket over her. Maybe a quiet afternoon daydreaming or napping was on tap instead.

Jules eyes landed on the turtle dove picture of Sam and her. She really needed to put that away. Why she was keeping it out, she was not sure.

Her mind wandered to that kiss again. Then it wandered to another time and place. To the first kiss. Her hand came to her lips as she recalled the tenderness of it. Sam was a damned good kisser. He could be soft and tender or hard with passion or anywhere in between. He always seemed to know exactly which kind of kiss she needed.

No one had ever kissed her quite like Sam. Jules found her hand brushing over her own breast as she thought about Sam's hands on them. Her nipples peaked at just the thought. Jules sucked in a breath and blew is out shakily as her body reacted to thoughts of intimacy with Sam.

He knew how to please her. How to drive her to the peak, keep her in exquisite anticipation demanding release. He would drive her to a point that she didn't think possible and then drove her over the crest so that she cascaded down in the most glorious release she had ever known. He could drive her there multiple times a night.

Jules felt her core tense as she imagined his hands and mouth on her. Caressing and teasing her body to perfection. Her hand slipped into her pants wanting and needing the release. She bucked in a rhythm that had been so familiar with Sam. When her release came, she breathed out "Sam, oh Sam."

As her breathing and heartrate began to steady from their frantic pace, Jules sighed. God, she was torturing herself. She really should not do that. But Sam was the best she ever had and if she was truthful, she missed it. Her body missed his attention.

Her phone ringing shelved her thoughts. She answered without looking at the caller id. "Hello," came out slightly breathless.

 _[Sam heard the breathless hello. Damn he missed that sound. Then it hit him. Oh crap, Jules was with someone. Shit. He shouldn't have called._

 _But then his mind rewound. If she was with someone that would cause that particular breathless tone, then she would not be answering the phone._

 _He said, "Hi Jules. I'm not disturbing you, am I?"]_

Not disturbing her. Well she didn't know about that. Thoughts of him certainly disturbed her quite enough a few moments ago.

But composing herself and trying to make her voice sound normal Jules answered, "No just came up from the basement putting my ornaments away."

 _[Sam smiled. He could tell she was lying. Bald face lying. Jules never was breathless coming up from the basement. Breathless from coming though, yeah. But gentleman that he was, he accepted her lie as truth. "You took down your tree too. I just got finished taking mine to the recycle bin."]_

Jules took a sip of coffee. "What's up?"

 _["Just wanted to see how your Christmas was," Sam said._

 _Really, he just needed to hear her voice. It had been too many days without hearing or seeing her. Not that he could share that with her. They were only colleagues and best friends. Nothing more.]_

"It was nice. Really nice," Jules said and then shared her past days with him. He was laughing as she described Lilly's, Holly's and Allie's antics on Christmas day. Then she asked, "How was yours?"

She listened and laughed as Sam told her all about surprising his parents, his snowball wars, how the unit guys surprised him and how Ben could very well be a drum prodigy. Oh, and how Daphy was not mad at him for getting Ben drums.

Jules felt her heart brighten at the sound of joy in Sam's voice. She remembered all too well the sad shell of a man Sam was last Christmas. She smiled as Sam related how he spent time with his mom skating and watching his cousins, buddies and dad play hockey.

She thought he was pulling her leg when he said his dad played hockey in his stead. But Sam insisted it was true. Jules had a hard time imagining the General playing hockey.

 _[Laughing Sam said, "Oh and one more thing. My mom surprised me and the guys. She bought tickets for all of us for a Leafs versus Senators hockey game. That was some game. I made ten bucks off Blaze when the Leafs scored the winning goal in the last seconds of the game."_

 _Sam stopped and took a drink of his coffee. He took a breath and then said, "I was wondering if you might like to come with me, as a friend, to Bella's New Year Eve's party. That is, if you don't already have plans. I'm gonna invite Spike too." Sam then cringed as he added, "If you have a date, you could bring him if you want."]_

Jules looked at the turtle dove picture. Could she do that? Sam voice had seemed a little hesitant. Best friends she reminded herself. Best friends could hang out on New Year's Eve. Spike would be there too. She smiled. "Yeah, that sounds like fun. I don't have a date. After Settimo, I'm not looking for a repeat in the dating department right now. Do you want me to meet you there or pick you up?"

 _["How about I pick you up?" Sam said as he got an idea. He would drive the truck, it would be a good start to a new year.]_

"You renting a car?" Jules asked.

 _[Sam chuckled. "Something like that. Say about eight?"]_

"Sounds good. Is it causal or dress up?"

 _["Whatever you are comfortable in. Some will be dressed to the nines and some will come in jeans. Bella has an eclectic group of friends. I'm planning to go in slacks and a button down but no tie. Nothing fancy."]_

"See you at eight tomorrow then," Jules said. Then she hung up.

Whoa.

Jules got up and headed up stairs. She needed to look in her closet for something to wear. Something that said friend, not date.

Before Sam left for Ottawa, he said his parents would be at the New Year's Eve party. She had never met his mom. She was a little nervous about doing so. She still recalled Sam's barbed comment that she fully deserved when she returned to the team. When he said the hardest part was when his mom had asked about meeting her.

Oh, god, what did she do in accepting?

There was no way of backing out now.

 _._

* * *

 _ **AN:**_ _Another short chapter. Muse is trying but work and other things are getting in the way. Expect slower updates for a while. Sorry._


	15. New Year's Eve Kiss

**New Year's Eve Kiss**

* * *

 _ **Jules' Home – Thursday, December 31th – 8:00 pm**_

Sam knocked on Jules' door and waited. He hoped tonight would go over okay. Spike had called to beg off just before he left his apartment. He wanted to come but his mother asked Spike to stay with the family. Spike was a good son and Sam understood wanting to please his mother.

Jules opened the door and smiled as she buttoned up her coat. "Ready to go."

"On time. You look nice tonight Jules." Sam cringed. God that sounded terrible. Like Jules didn't look nice all the time.

Tilting her head slightly up at Sam, Jules gave him an amused look and said, "You clean up nice too."

Then she looked at the truck. "Whoa. You rented some truck."

Sam grinned as they walked towards the truck. "Not rented. It's mine. It was a gift."

Jules stopped at the truck and stared at Sam. "Your parents must have really loved you coming to visit if they bought you a truck. Wow. Just wow."

"No, not my parents. But they did like that I visited." Sam grinned as he prepared to shock Jules. "Matt gave me the truck."

Confusion lit in Jules' eyes. "Matt?"

"Yeah, Matt."

"Not, your best friend Matt? How could he do that?" Jules asked perplexed.

Sam opened the passenger side door for Jules. It was a lifted truck and he was glad it had a step rail or he'd have to lift Jules up into it. He answered, "Yeah, that Matt. It was something he planned six years ago. I'll tell you about it on the way to Bella's."

Jules' eyes widened in surprise. Sam's friend had been some friend to plan this for six years. As she climbed inside, she noticed Spike was not in the truck. Sam should have picked up Spike first since his home was in between their places. "Where's Spike?"

Sam answered, "He begged off last minute. His mother wanted him to spend it with the family." Sam closed the door and headed for the driver's side.

Jules' mind whirled. Could she do this without Spike here to be a buffer? As the driver's door opened, Jules thought she had no choice. She was already in the truck and it would hurt Sam's feeling if she suddenly bolted from the truck with a flimsy excuse.

Besides, they were adults. What harm could come from spending New Year's Eve together?

Jules schooled her features and went for a neutral subject as she said, "So tell me how Matt arranged to give you a truck."

Sam started the truck and music blared from the stereo. He quickly turned it down and then began to tell Jules all about it as he drove to Bella's home.

Jules listened with increasing surprise and affection for a man she had never met. Matt was truly an exceptional man and a true friend and brother to Sam. Jules was glad that Sam had had someone like Matt in his life.

* * *

 _ **Home of Marbella Ridgewater – Thursday, December 31th**_

Jules handed over her coat to the lady at the door. She was impressed by the house. Mansion really. The rest of the team had been here before, when they laid the trap for Brogan Snow and the other dirty cops. She recalled how Lou, Wordy and Ed teased Spike about dressing up as Dame Ridgewater. Spike took the teasing in stride, especially since Sam had sent him that flying screaming monkey thing. He nailed the guys with those anytime they teased him.

"So, you lived here for two years? Nice." Jules asked as they headed for another room.

Sam nodded as he looked for Wilson, Bella and his parents in the crowd of guests. Bella certainly had out done herself this year. She loved to throw New Year's Eve parties. He finally spotted Bella and said, "Come with me. I want to introduce you to Bella."

Jules followed Sam through the throng of people. Sam was not joking that Bella had an eclectic mix of friends. People were indeed dressed from the very casual jeans to top fashions. There were mostly adults that ranged from young twenties all the way up to eighties, but a few kids here or there too.

Sam stopped in the archway where Bella was talking to her daughter and grand-daughter.

When Bella saw Sam, a huge smile graced her face and lit up her eyes. She excused herself from her family and went right to Sam. "You made it. I'm so happy you came. It has been too long since you came to visit me." She stepped forward and gave Sam a kiss on the cheek. "You are looking well."

Sam was glad the bruising had faded enough that it was hardly visible now. He kissed Bella's cheek and answered, "Feeling well too. Happy to be here, I've been looking forward to seeing you too. I'd like to introduce you to a good friend and teammate."

He motioned to Jules and said, "Bella this is Jules Callaghan. Jules this is Dame Ridgewater."

Bella looked at Jules and recalled the young woman who had come to visit Sam in the hospital after he was beaten nearly to death again by that horrible Brogan Snow. This was the woman that held Sam's heart. She hoped Yvonne was right to tell Sammy to hold onto hope. Although, Yvonne had been right about holding onto hope her son would return to her and she had been right. So, maybe she was right about this too.

She smiled. "Phish posh on the Dame. Please call me Bella. It is very nice to meet you Jules. Welcome to my home."

Jules smiled. "Nice to meet you too."

Sam asked, "Have you seen my mom and dad?"

Bella's smile faded slightly. "I'm sorry, they were not able to make it. It seems your dad overdid and aggravated an old injury."

Sam looked confused. "He was okay when I left. What happened."

Sighing Bella said, "You know, you and your father are so alike sometimes. Willie had a grand time playing hockey but just didn't know when to stop. He's not as young as he used to be, not that he is not fit as a fiddle. But he over-stressed his back muscles and didn't tell anyone. But early this morning his back muscles started to spasm. Yvonne called Jasper and Jasper put Willie on some muscle relaxers.

"Willie insisted on coming but your mother put her foot down. Rightly so, when on the way to the airport his spasms came back. Yvonne had Mike turn around and take them back home and put Willie to bed with a heating pad and another dose of muscle relaxers."

Sam shook his head. It was strange to admit, but he and his dad were alike in several ways. It was also strange to hear Bella call his dad Willie. "I hope Dad listens to Mom. Nothing worse than riling a Braddock female."

Bella laughed. "No truer words have been spoken. But Willie knows that. He'll be a good boy. Your mom was over the moon that you came to visit for Christmas. You did good Sammy."

Sam just smiled.

Jules breathed a small sigh of relief. She did not have to meet Sam's mother tonight. The thought of doing so had had her stomach in knots all day. She had changed three times tonight trying to find just the right outfit. Not that she would ever admit that to any of the guys on the team. But she also got a kick out of hearing Bella call the General, Willie. She could never imagine calling him that.

Wilson spotted Sam and grinned. He hurried over and embraced him. He was looking so fit and well. It did his heart good to see Sam this way. Wilson stepped back and said, "Sam, long time. I've missed you my boy. You interested in going skiing with me this season? I can get the cabin from Emmett, if you want to go."

Grinning Sam answered, "It's good to see you too Wilson. Funny, I was gonna to ask you the same. Sounds like fun. We'll have to talk later and see if we can arrange a couple of days to head up there." Then Sam repeated the introduction of Jules to Wilson.

Jules smiled and was surprised by the kiss from Wilson on her cheek. As she got her bearing she said, "Spike said that the cabin that he, Sam and Scott stayed in was the one that you used to take Sam to as a teen."

Wilson nodded. "Yes. We had some great times up there. Sam, you recall the time we got caught in that avalanche?"

Sam arched his brows as his eyes rolled a bit and his head bobbed up and down slightly. "Yeah, that's kinda hard to forget. Your training saved my life that day. I was so disoriented. Didn't know up from down when I got buried."

"I'm just glad you remembered what to do. You were terrible at swimming through the snow and when I saw you go under I prayed you would recall what to do," Wilson stated.

Jules asked, "What do you do?"

Sam laughed. "Spit."

"What?"

"Spit. That is after you have ensured you created a pocket around your mouth. You spit and watch what direction it flows. That way you know which way is up. Spit goes down and the opposite way is up," Wilson explained.

Sam nodded. "Yeah. I was upside down. There was no way I was digging out in the position I was in."

"Damn good thing a small portion of your boot was sticking out. Buzz, Dutch and me dug faster than we thought possible," Wilson said.

"Got to me in time."

Wilson nodded. Then he noticed that Sam and Jules did not have drinks and said, "What can I get you to drink?"

Sam answered, "I'll take a beer. Jules?"

"Beer or wine, either sounds good."

Wilson nodded and headed off with a "Be right back," tossed over his shoulder.

Bella hugged Sam again. "Enjoy your evening, I see some guests I need to greet. I'll look for you later. You can tell me all about Christmas." Then she was gone into the crowded room.

Two young girls were giggling near Sam and Jules. They were great-granddaughters of Bella. One little girl got brave and looked at Sam. "You have to kiss her."

Sam looked at Bella's great-granddaughter. "What did you say?"

"You have to kiss her."

Sam and Jules shared a confused look. Then Jules asked, "Why?"

The girl pointed up. "Cause you two are standing under the mistletoe. You have to kiss if you are under mistletoe. Daddy says that every time he kisses Mommy there."

Jules said, "We're just friends."

"So? You still have to kiss," the other little girl said.

"Yeah, it is tradition."

Wilson reappeared with their drinks, beer for Sam and red wine for Jules. As he held onto their drinks, Wilson said, "They have you there."

Sam turned to Jules and gave her a quick peck on her cheek.

The little girls were not satisfied. One said, "That's not a kiss. You have to really kiss her."

"On the lips, while you hold her in your arms, like our Daddy does," the other girl stated in a matter of fact tone.

By this time, they had drawn the attention of several of the adults around them. Someone started a soft chant of "Kiss her, kiss her," that grew louder the longer that Sam and Jules stared at each other wondering just how to get out of this.

Then good-natured teasing started with various taunts from the young men that were in attendance. "Come on or I'll kiss her." "Bet, he's not a good kisser, he should let me do it." "Give the lady a kiss or stand aside so a real man can kiss her."

Thoughts of watching any other man kiss Jules spurred Sam into action.

Sam's arm wrapped around Jules' waist and pulled her to him as his head dipped down.

Jules stood in anticipation when she saw Sam start to move towards her. She willingly molded her body to his as he pulled her in. Her chin tilted up and her lips parted slightly of their own accord. She wanted this. Jules shouldn't, but she did.

As their lips touched, lightly at first, Jules' arms came up and around Sam's neck pulling him down and to her.

Sam wanted this so very badly. He smelled jasmine of Jules' shampoo as he inhaled when Jules' arms pulled him closer. His free hand came around to the back of Jules head and held her in place as his lips applied more pressure to Jules' soft, supple lips.

Oh, how he missed this.

Jules was becoming breathless. Oh, how she missed this.

Their kiss deepened and Sam's tongue swept lightly over her lips seeking entrance. Jules felt the passion building and instinctively opened her mouth as her tongue demanded to dance with Sam's.

Cheering and clapping brought Jules back to her senses. Oh god, what was she doing?

Jules tried to pull back but Sam's lips remained firmly attached as he moved with her and held her securely to him. His kiss was becoming more demanding. She could tell he had lost himself to the passion. Oh god, she was going to have to hurt him again.

She breathed out "Sam."

His kiss just became more ardent.

The whistles and cheers were growing louder. When someone said, get a room, Jules knew she had to stop Sam before he did something they both would regret. Sam was too lost in the kiss and she could feel that his body had reacted too and he was hard. Sam was too lost.

She released her hold on his neck and then reached up for the hand on the back of her head.

Jules executed a move that had Sam spun around, on the ground on his stomach with one hand wrenched high on his back in seconds flat. She knew she had to put him down like that to kept from him being embarrassed about being at attention for her. He would still be embarrassed, hell, she was embarrassed. But this was a better type of embarrassment.

She looked at the girls and smiled as she quipped, "And this, girls is what you do when boys have cooties. You have to hold them this way until they say uncle."

The little girls giggled clearly enjoying themselves.

Sam was shocked to find himself on the ground with Jules on top of him. Aw crap. He'd done it now. He'd lost himself in the kiss. How would Jules ever believe he just thought of her as a friend when he kissed her like that?

He blushed as he realized that his body had reacted to her too. He quickly deflated as Jules spoke to the girls and they giggled. More effective than a cold shower. This was so embarrassing.

But not as embarrassing as having a visible hard-on in a room full of Bella's family and friends would have been. Jules must have known, hell, she probably felt it with as close as he was holding her. It was clear to him that Jules had decided to help him out. That was something to think about.

Turning to Sam, hoping enough time had passed to help him, Jules asked, "You ready to give up cootie boy?"

Sam found his voice and said, "Yeah, I give up."

Jules got off Sam and stood. Her face was flushed pink as she held out a hand to Sam.

Sam rolled to his back and then reached out for Jules' hand. As he stood he looked at the astonished faces of the guests. He grinned, because what else could he do, and quipped, "Never kiss an SRU Officer without getting her permission first."

The crowd started laughing and then started to disperse. That had been quite entertaining to watch most of them thought as they moved off.

Wilson handed the beer to Sam and the wine to Jules. "Looks like you both could use a drink after that. Sam's not a wine drinker but Bella's choice of wine tonight is very good. So, I brought you a glass Jules."

Jules took the glass with a steady hand, even though she felt all gooey and shaky inside. She took a sip and found a steady voice, "Very good. Thank you, Wilson."

Wilson smiled and saw that both were red with embarrassment. Sam had it bad for Jules. He could tell Jules was fighting her feelings for Sam. Yvonne was right. Wilson hoped these two would eventually figure out that they were meant for each other. He had not witnessed passion like since he had seen newlyweds William and Yvonne kissing in this exact same place many, many years ago.

"My pleasure." Wilson then decided to give the two of them some space to regroup. "If you will excuse me now, I have to go check on things. Sam, I'll call you later this week and we can talk about picking a date for skiing."

Sam nodded and then took a long drink of beer. How the hell was this supposed to work? Everything in him was screaming for more than a friendship with Jules. He desperately wanted more. How could he maintain this friendship only façade?

He whispered to Jules, "Sorry."

Jules was busy trying to push down the feelings she should not have for Sam. Her career was her life. She had to quell these feelings.

Seeking something to say in response and then realizing she had forgot about Sam's injuries, Jules asked "I forgot about your chest, did I hurt you?"

"No. I'm fi–, I'm alright, nothing damaged."

Jules took another sip of wine. Sam almost said fine. She had hurt him. Maybe not physically, but emotionally. Damn. How should she respond? A simple, "Good," escaped her mouth.

Sam blew out a breath he had been holding and took another drink of beer. How to get back to the normalcy?

He scanned the room and landed on the buffet tables set up. If their mouths were full, the silence would be less awkward. "Want to go see what they have to eat?"

"Sure." Jules couldn't believe how clipped that answer had come out. There was a bit of tension between them now. They were both trying exceedingly hard to ignore the elephant in the room. The elephant that trumpeted, you still have passion for each other.

Then Jules thought, the elephant was painted with big white letters that spelled out 'break protocol and you lose everyone you care about, again'.

Sam started forward and Jules followed a little slower putting a bit of distance between them. As they made their way to the buffet table, they overheard various people making comments on their kiss. There was speculation that they were a couple but others stating that could not be true because they knew they were on the same team. Many guys were impressed with Jules' takedown. Many women were impressed with Sam's kiss and wished they were the one that got kissed like that.

Jules and Sam both ignored all the comments and filled their plates with food. They spent the next several hours eating and talking with Bella, Wilson and many of the guests. They said few words to each other. Neither knowing quite what to say to the other to restore their balance.

At eleven fifty-nine, they found themselves with silly hats on their heads and paper horns in their hands, like the rest of the guests. They also had a glass of champagne in their hands.

The crowd started the count down. "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Happy New Year." Horns started blowing, glasses clinking and couples kissing.

Sam looked at Jules and raised his glass. "To friendship," Sam said with a smile.

Jules smiled, "To friends, past, present and future."

They clinked glasses and took a drink of champagne.

Jules moved closer and leaned forward. She kissed Sam's cheek softly.

Sam gave Jules a lopsided grin then leaned down and kissed Jules' cheek softly. "Best friends."

Jules nodded. "Best friends."

The easiness between them had been restored.

As the crowd began to sing the time-honored song to remember long-standing friendships, Sam and Jules joined in singing Auld Lang Syne.

 _._

* * *

 _ **AN:**_ _One more chapter and this story will be done. Appreciate all the comments, I love reading them._


	16. Why Didn't You Ride Your Bike Today?

**Why Didn't You Ride Your Bike Today?**

* * *

 _ **Sam's Truck En Route to SRU HQ – Saturday, January 2nd – 4:40 am**_

It felt strange driving to work. He was so used to riding his bike. But it felt right and good too.

Every day when he drove to work now, he could spend a few moments with good memories of Matt. After shift, he would be able to talk to Matt too. Tell him the good and bad of his day. It felt so right to talk to Matt in this truck and Sam felt Matt's presence, almost like he was riding shotgun with him.

Getting that feeling again, Sam glanced at the passenger seat. For the briefest second, he could have sworn he saw Matt sitting there and grinning at him like a loon.

Sam shook himself. He better be careful. If the department shrink got wind of him talking to his dead friend and was thinking he saw him in the truck, he might just find himself out of a job. That thought made him laugh. There wasn't a shrink he couldn't handle.

As he approached the SRU parking lot, Sam grinned. Yesterday had been a good day. A slow day, but a good day. He'd done nothing much. Most of the day he laid on his couch and reread The Hunt for Red October, the Russian language version that Matt had gotten him. He had also called Mom and had a nice long conversation with her.

He had planned to rest fully, so that Ed had no reason to put him on light duty. As a result, his muscles were fully healed and Sam felt in great shape today.

* * *

 _ **SRU HQ – Parking Lot – Saturday, January 2nd – 4:45 am**_

It Sam parked his truck next to Jules' jeep. She was already here and waiting for him. He turned off the truck and grabbed his go bag from the passenger seat and hopped out.

"Morning, Sam," Jules called out.

Sam grinned at her. "Morning Jules. Anyone else here yet?"

Jules shook her head. "We're the first. Even beat the Boss."

Sam chuckled. "That's hard to do."

Agreeing Jules nodded.

Sam slung his go bag over on shoulder as he closed his door and headed for the back of his truck. He leaned on the back of it.

Jules reached into the back of her jeep and produced a paper coffee cup. She held it out to Sam. "I even had enough time to grab us all Timmy's. Hot, strong and black. The way you like it when it is cold out."

Sam took the coffee and sipped. "Thanks, Jules. It is cold this morning. But at least it is not overcast or raining."

"Yeah. That would have dampened you plans this morning." Jules then picked up her double, double and took a sip.

The first of the rest of the team to arrive was the Boss. He pulled in and saw Sam and Jules standing near Jules' jeep. He got out with a smile as he approached them. "Good morning Jules, Sam. The doors locked or you just enjoy the cold."

Jules handed the Boss a coffee. "Just waiting to see who comes in last for the first shift of the new year."

Greg chuckled then took a sip and looked at the bike rack. It was empty. He wondered if Sam had taken a cab or if perhaps Jules had given him a ride.

He thought that Sam not riding his bike might indicate that Sam was not quite up to par yet. The weeks leading up to their Christmas break had been rather hard on Sam physically. Perhaps he needed light duty. He asked "Sam, you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, ready to go. No reason for light duty, Boss," Sam stated.

Sam saw the Boss glance at the bike rack and the questioning look in his eyes told him he was wondering why he had not ridden his bike. But he wanted to wait until everyone was here to tell them.

Almost like a train, Ed, Wordy and Spike pulled into the lot. Leah pulled in as the three others were getting out of their vehicles. In short order, everyone converged on Jules' jeep and accepted the coffees she had gotten for them as they all greeted each other for the first shift of the new year.

Ed noticed that Sam's bike was missing. He eyed Sam critically. "Where's your bike Sam?"

"At home."

Spike looked at Sam. He looked good, but with Sam looks could be deceiving. He decided to tread lightly with humor thinking that if Sam was sick, he might admit to it. "Samtastic didn't ride his bike on such a beautiful day. I think the world just stopped turning. Are you sick or did aliens abduct the real Sam?"

Sam chuckled. "No, I'm not an alien Sam and I'm good. All healed. One hundred percent again."

Wordy looked at Sam. Nothing looked off. In fact, Sam was looking rather happy and well rested. There was a glint in his eyes too. "Then why didn't you ride your bike today?"

Sam grinned. "Cause I drove."

"You drove?" Leah asked.

Ed realized Sam was leaning on a truck he had never seen in the parking lot. "About damned time. You finally came to your senses and bought a truck."

Everyone looked at Sam as his grin got bigger. "Not exactly."

Spike looked at the awesome truck. "What do you mean, not exactly? You borrowing the truck?"

Sam shook his head. "No, it's mine. I just didn't buy it."

Greg made the same assumption that Jules had. "Your parents, gave you some gift there Sam."

Ed's eyes widened as he considered that Sam's father gave him a truck. "The General gave you a truck?"

Wordy smiled. Now that was one way to show you cared. Not the best, but it was a start for William, Wordy thought.

Spike walked towards the truck and Sam and then slapped Sam on the back. "This is awesome. I don't have to be worried about you riding home in all the crappy weather. Did you get to pick out the truck or did your parents have a big red bow on it in the driveway."

Leah shook her head. "Sam, your parents didn't even know you were coming. Why would they get you a truck?"

Sam glanced at Jules and then turned to the others. "The truck is not a gift from my parents."

He waited a beat as the puzzled expressions showed. "Matt gave me the truck."

"Matt? How the hell did Matt give you a truck?" Ed blurted out.

Sam ran his hand on the back of the truck. "Matt's special like that."

Greg chuckled. "I can tell there is a story here. Why don't we head in, where it's warm, and you can tell us all about it Sam."

Sam nodded. He was getting a bit cold standing out here and he was not about to let himself catch a cold and chance getting put on light duty.

Ed, Wordy and Spike all took a detour to walk around and admire the truck before heading in. They all agreed it was a great truck and Spike was looking forward to taking a ride in it.

* * *

 _ **SRU HQ – Briefing Room – Saturday, January 2nd – 5:00 am**_

The team all took their normal seats. They looked at Sam expectantly. Sam rarely talked about Matt. They were all curious but never pried.

Sam took a sip and then started, "Matt, my brother, was one of a kind. We met at a time when we both needed a friend and we just clicked. We made it through boot camp helping each other. Then we went to advanced training and then knocked around for a few years before we headed off for Special Forces.

"It was Matt's dream and I supported him. Our second Christmas in Special Forces, I got sent off with another unit and Matt headed to Ottawa with Blaze. It was the first Christmas we had been apart in years."

Then Sam shared with them how Matt had tracked down the truck he had rented, bought, put it in his name and then arranged to give it to him.

Spike's eyes were wide with disbelief. He probably knew more about Matt than the rest of them and this still shocked him. "Sam, I'd have to say that was a Mattastic thing he did."

Ed watched Sam closely. He could see that Sam struggled with accepting the gift. It was rare but Sam had just given them a glimpse of the man he hid inside.

He could truly understand now why Sam had been so utterly devastated by how Matt died. He was now even gladder that Sam was so strong he did to succumb to using his pearl handled colt and that he had given Sam the lock box for it.

Wordy smiled. "Sam, it had to have been a big shock. I'm happy to see that you are driving it."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I had trouble at first. But Matt helped. He left me several CDs. I'd like you all to hear Matt. He's got a weird sense of humor and some of the jokes are off-color. But if you'd like to hear him, I'd like to share a bit of Matt with you."

Greg smiled. "I'd like that."

"Me too," Spike stated with eagerness.

Ed nodded, Wordy grinned and Leah leaned back and waited to hear the voice of an awesome person.

Jules smiled. Sam had played parts of the CD for her on the way home from Bella's party. She was glad Sam was sharing Matt with the rest of the team.

Sam pulled out his music player and selected a play list he had built with a few of Matt's tamer jokes. He hit play.

 _Matt's voice reflected that he was in rare form. "Okay, okay Sammy. How about this one. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?" Matt snickered. "A northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time'. A southern fairy tale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit'._

" _I got another one, just for you Sammy. "What do you call a smart blonde? No, it is not Blondie. You are still trying to figure it out, so it can't be you." He chortled then said, "A golden retriever." Matt busted up laughing. "Sorry Sammy, couldn't resist that one._

" _Okay, here's two that are sure to make you laugh Sinner. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?" Matt snickered. "Because they have cotton balls." Matt cleared his throat then said, "What is a Yankee? You should know this one Sammy with as often as you are in the field. Give up? It's the same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone."_

 _Matt sobered, "Man, I'm sorry about that one. You being in the field so much is no joke. Wish you got to spend Christmas with us. I hope that you find your beauty and yankees are a thing of the past for you. I hope you have a great life Sam. Live it to the fullest and I'll see you later, much, much later."_

Sam flicked it off and looked at the faces around him. They had chuckled at the jokes.

"So, that is Matt," Sam stated.

Spike was smiling. "I like his sense of humor. He's funny."

Ed shook his head and grinned at Spike. "You like his humor because it's weird like you Spikey."

Shrugging Spike asked, "How did your ornaments go over?"

Sam snorted. "My cousins and Mike looked at me like I was crazy. First time being hurt kept me from getting hurt. I'm sure they would have wrestled me to the floor and made me pay for it. Especially when there was non-stop teasing from all my female cousins. As far as Blaze and they guys reactions. I guess I'll find out what they thought of them when they actually get them. But I think, I'll be in less trouble with them because I made them all a copy of Matt's CDs."

Wordy leaned back and smiled. He was impressed by Matt. He gave Sam and the others that loved him a precious gift. "I'm glad you have Matt's voice. I wish we all could have met Matt. He was a true friend and brother Sam."

Any additional comments were curtailed as Peter rushed into the briefing room and spoke to Greg. "Team Three has a situation they need help with. Team Five is on another call. Can Team One up early and help?"

Greg stood and said, "Gear up team." Then he headed to the dispatch desk with Peter to get details.

As the team rushed to the locker rooms to dress Sam smiled. This Christmas had been the best he had in more years than he could count. He got to spend time with all the people that were so important to him. Matt included.

.

* * *

 _ **AN:**_ _Another story has come to the end, I hoped you enjoyed it. I'd appreciate all your reviews, PMs and support. Make 2017 the year you go after your dreams, they will not come true unless you do._

 _ **I will be working on my other stories but I have to be honest it will be slower as I will be focused elsewhere for most my free time.** My dad challenged me to go after my dream and to take the stories I have written here, recraft them to make them wholly my own and then publish a book. I have accepted his challenge. Since greater than 95% of the content in my stories come from my imagination, I will be taking a large chunk of my stories, removing specific FP references and adding new content as I meddle my stories together to create a series of original work. I plan to self-publish via Amazon. I'm hoping to have the first one completed in a month or so. __I will update my profile when I actually publish the book._


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